View Full Version : Major Stress Attack
11-27-2006, 08:45 AM
Over a week ago now my DH loss his job, as a courier. Not only he loss his job, but I did too. I did the accounting for the courier part of the business, and the computer repair part (my part of the business).
Last year because of my health issues I gave up on the computer repair part, as I could no long lift the computers. We continued to survive on my DH's part of the business. Now we have nothing. As my DH was an owner/operator we can't even get UI, as he had never paid into it for 14 years.
When the house sells we will be putting everything in storage and moving back to Kitchener, and moving in with a son. Once we are back on track with any bills left over after the sale of the home and we are able to start saving again then we will buy a condo in the same general area as our son.
Right now I am pushing to go on CPP disability, and I am applying for ODSP and most likely will get both. I don't think ODSP will pay once CPP kicks in but I am sure ODSP, will help me get on CPP so they don't have to pay out ODSP.
Where ever I will be, I will be here communicating with my friends, whom I need so desperately now.
My health is not getting any better. The cysts on my back, are mine and I will not be giving them up. I was to the neurosurgeon. He informed me that they will not do surgery on these cysts. I thought I only had one. The Neurosurgeon said I had a number of them. He said he would not even drain them, because they are being filled with spinal fluid from my back. He said if he drained all the spinal fluid from my body, that these cysts would be refilled within eight hours.
My disk in my back are continuing to deteriorate, and my Ankylosing Spondilitis is continuing to get worse. The cysts are actually helping to keep the disks from fusing.
I am still researching Lupus. What I am finding is that Lupus is most likely, a part of my life, and not MS as my Urologist originally believed. My Urologist who diagnosed me with MS said he would not help me fill out the disability papers, to have my GP do it.
With my very impressive health card, and my very complex health issues, I will be seeing my GP December 4th, to get the wheels rolling for CPP. Another GP at the medical center, I presently attend said "Why aren't you on disability." Now I am pushing, and hopefully I will get it in a matter of months instead of years.
Last Wednesday, I finally got up the nerve to call my baby sister, who is like a friend, to tell her that DH had loss his job, and we were putting the house up for sale and moving back to Kitchener. We got talking about my health issues, and the possibility of Lupus. I asked her if she knew anyone else with Lupus. I was shock when I heard her reply. She stated my sister 3 years younger than I, who I knew had RA, also has Lupus. I guess DS #1 (I have DS #2 and DS #3(sister and best friend)), must had thought I had known. I also phoned a cousin, who had just resently seen DS#1, and said that she was aware that DS#1 had Lupus. Why is it I was the only one that did not know. Anyway it doesn't matter anymore, I now know it is in the family.
Anyway, I am taking this information back to my GP, and hopefully, with my many health issues that point to me having Lupus, I will finally get my diagnoses.
I can finally believe the Neurologist when they said I don't have MS. I don't know if having Lupus is any better, but I know I have an answer.
My many friends here, thank you for being there for me. Where ever my computer goes, I will go with it, so I will continue to be there for you as you are for me.
Hugs to everyone
11-27-2006, 09:33 AM
Hi, Gerri - I am so sorry to hear about your husband's situation - I know this must be incredibly stressful with your health problems on top of it. I don't know anything about the Canadian disability system - hope it's more efficient than ours. If you do end up moving, make sure to have your current doctors refer you to someone at your new location and send your records so you don't have any gaps in your care. I will be thinking of you and sending prayers your way.
11-28-2006, 11:06 AM
I am so sorry to hear about your current situation, having to sell your home and your husband's inability to get unemployment. As you said, once you've paid your major bills from the sell of your home and are able to get back on your feet, hopefully things will start to get better for you!
Do take Marycain's advice about taking and/or sending your medical records to your new doctor so that you will not have any gaps in your care. I am so sorry that you are suffering so much with your symptoms and I will keep you in my prayers!
We are here for you at any time that you need us....
Peace and Blessings
11-29-2006, 10:41 AM
Things here are hard to. With the help of the wonderful and incomparable St. James, I will be fighting the disability fight. We too are losing our house. Back when times were good and we both could work full time, we refinanced and basically doubled our payments so that we could take advantage of lower interest rates and pay off the house sooner. Well, God laughs when man makes plans, I guess. We've done everything we can to hold onto the house, ruining our credit in the process. A lot of things my husband kept from me because he didn't want to upset me and "send me into flare".....well, this is NOT the best way to have a marriage, something he now realizes. I want to cry when I think about all the worry that he himself has tried to shoulder alone. That's not the kind of partner in life I ever wanted to be.
So, we are selling the house through a dear realtor friend of ours. We already have a buyer interested, he's working with a loan officer, and will pay the price we want for the house, so the sooner done, the better.
But, OH! The tears I've cried over this. When we first bought it, the house was awful. I took it room by room, sponge painting and texturing and wallpapering. We put in ceramic tile ourselves, got the very best carpet we could afford....I have the house decorated for Christmas already, and I smile when I see my grandmother's Irish lace crochet runner under my mom's Franciscan Apple dishes....with that gorgeous St. Nicholas that we bought in NYC...and then I burst into tears because this will be our last Christmas in this house. I look out in the backyard at the treehouse that grandsons have played in....sigh....
The house we are renting is nice enough. It will look wonderful with our things in it. And we can afford the rent much more easily. In addition, we are selling the 2nd car, so no more car payments on it, insurance, upkeep, etc. It's called LIVING WITHIN OUR MEANS again. That alone makes this all bearable for me.
I feel so darn guilty, reading over all this. I need to be thankful for what I HAVE: friends, family, and my husband does have a job. It just seems with this disease, the accident with my leg (by the way---court date moved to MARCH, sigh), I have just lost so much. Pray for me, if you pray....I am so very saddened. :cry:
11-29-2006, 12:16 PM
I understand your sorrow over losing your home - we had to sell the home we had remodeled from scratch about five years ago. I had thousands of dollars in medical bills even with insurance, the property taxes had tripled on the property (which was in an undeveloped area when we bought it), and the house was not accessible for me in a wheelchair and would have cost too much to retrofit. We cried a lot of tears - the house was on a bank overloooking the Ohio River, with a path down to the dock, and picture windows in every room. I stripped and restored the hardwood floors myself and Michael built a stone wall around the back garden. So it was incredibly hard to leave a place where we had literally invested blood, sweat and tears. But it all worked out - I still miss the river, but we have a small lake nearby. We're still in the same area, just a smaller house that's wheelchair accessible. It's also much closer to the rest of my family. We had to get rid of a lot of stuff that just wouldn't fit in the smaller house. Still, it could have been much worse, so I try to enjoy what I have and not fret about what's gone.
The funniest thing about moving was trying to round up all the animals - I was afraid the people who bought the property wouldn't take care of my "strays", so we relocated all the feral cats to the new property by live-trapping them. The moving people were a little shocked to show up and find several crates of squalling cats, not to mention three pgymy goats, one fainting goat, and a giant welsh rabbit! If we'd only left the video camera unpacked, we could have gotten some great videos! But the laughter was good, otherwise the sadness would have been overwhelming.
12-07-2006, 04:35 PM
Well, I have decided that I can be happy ANYwhere, if I choose to be. No wonder my hubby was cracking under the strain! He thought he was "sparing" me by not telling me how bad things were. Now he understands that neither of us benefit from being in the dark.
A lovely friend of mine has offered to pack up all our things and clean the house when we're moved out in exchange for some research help on a poli-sci term paper---yep, I snapped up THAT offer! She's such a dear, and comes over all the time to help with the house or just watch movies with me. (Still on bedrest, sighhhhh)
The kidney is getting better. AND I only have to gain a few more pounds before the doc is willing to try me on methotrexate instead of the hated prednisone. He's also beginning to talk about Cellcept. I just want to be well again...or as well as I can be. I wanna be an equal financial partner too. I'd love to go back to teaching, but I have to be able to stay out of flare first.
by the way, I am now taking Trazodone for helping with sleep at night. Lunesta didn't help at ALL (and was soooo expensive)---and the trazodone really makes me sleep better than I have in a long, long time!
I am adjusting to the move. One nice thing about renting a house, when something breaks, you call someone ELSE to fix it! It will look lovely once our things are in it. And the rent is half what our house payment is.
There's a nice backyard for my dear puppies. No trees in the backyard, but hubby says he'll put up a little gazebo or something.
I will not complain. I have people in my life who love me. That makes me rich beyond measure! love, Kathy
12-07-2006, 04:58 PM
We planted some type of shade tree last year that has grown ENORMOUSLY in less than a year and now provides very nice shade. Trying to make the yard less sunny so I can enjoy it more. I'll try to find the little tag with the name of the tree on it, it wasn't very expensive, and I'm sure your landlord wouldn't mind you beautifying the yard, And the puppies would probably appreciate it.
I know the bedrest is a drag, but at least you don't have some medical vampire barging in your room at 4:00 am to draw blood. Let someone else do the fixing and cooking for christmas - I'm sure your doctor will not want you wearing yourself out. Is your laptop set up where you can at least work on your novel while you're stuck in bed?
12-07-2006, 06:00 PM
Thanks you for all the caring advise. My DH is still without a job. We have to soon apply for assistance, really don't want to do that but what choice do we have. We really have to get through the winter and the sale of our home.
I also went to my GP and asked him to fill out disability papers, he wasn't going to do it. I so lost it and bawled my eyes out. The nurses, and the head of the medical center said not to fret that the GP will be filling out the papers. I am hoping he has enough information that I don't have to go before a tribunal. He also told me that he will only be at the clinic another 2-5 months. I just can't seem to keep a doctor.
I am really having a hard time dealing with all of this. It does help knowing that others have gone through pretty much what I am going through, and are doing all right.
Even before all of this I have had severe problems with Sjogren's, and I believe Lupus. The Sjogren's drys my mouth at night even when I have my humidifier going on my CPAP machine. I am constantly getting up to have a drink. I have had ulcer like sores inside my nose, not good when you use nasal pillows to help you breath at night. Lately I have had dime size blood clots on my arms. They are usually gone by the time time I see the doctor again, so I have been taking pictures. I wish I could get a half decent sleep at night.
Kathy, I read your post, and thought how similar your situation is to mine. For the time been, I will be moving in with my son. I will have to give up one of my puppies as my son can only have two dogs. They have three (so far no one has complained about them having three) of their own. One of their puppies is very old, and has thyroid problems and other medical issues. So they are thinking it is time to have poor puppy,put down. So we are going to sneak our female dachshund into the home then.
Once we get back on our feet, it is our hope that we will be able to buy a condo apartment. Everything will be on one floor, and wheelchair accessible. Dear hubby has prospects for a job, but unfortunately they are not happening until after Christmas. We have to sell half of what we own, and a 3 ton truck. This with assistance, should keep us going until the house is sold.
Marycain, Saysusie, Kathy I appreciate very much you being there for me.
12-07-2006, 06:49 PM
Gerri, you are in my heart and my prayers every day! I wish I had some words of comfort or advice - maybe some of the Canadian members will know about what kinds of assistance are available to help you. When we were selling our house, I had to remind myself over and over that a house is just property - as long as you are with your family, that is home. And the memories you take with you always.
12-08-2006, 08:12 AM
Gerri, I am sending you the BIGGEST of hugs. I was thinking just the other day, what Lupus has done for me is it has given me so much more compassion than I would have had otherwise. You WILL get through this, as will I. and we will be stronger people for it. Wanna hear something funny? We just moved back to Houston last April and I STILL have boxes from THAT move that I didn't unpack...so I'm tossing them. I figure, if I didn't need it for 9 months, I never will, so why move it again?
I am able to work on my book from my husband's laptop. I really, really love what's been written so far. It's weird, though, the book has taken on a life of its own. by that I mean, there are things happening in the book that I never planned for the characters to say and do. LOL, I email my mom a chapter as I finish them. Well, one of the characters died, and she called and was FURIOUS with me about it. I knew that would happen!
As for Christmas, hubby's son and his wife are coming for a few days, but will stay with their mother, but they WILL be over here for Christmas day. His son is going to buy what is needed for Christmas dinner, and then his wife will cook it (with some instructions from me on the couch) I am SO blessed with my husband's kids...they treat me like a Mom, not a stepmom. Oh, oh, oh! A friend of ours gave us 4 tickets to the Houston Texans football game (we are all fiendishly MAD fans) so I may break the doc's rules just long enough to go to the game. (It's an indoor stadium here, so I won't be in the sun/cold.) After Christmas, it'll be pack, pack, pack. But Erica will be doing that for me. God blesses us all so much with family and friends, doesn't He?
12-08-2006, 08:46 AM
Amen to that! Is the stadium set up so you don't have to walk far to get into it? If there's any way you can get to your seat without a lot of standing or walking, I think your doctor might forgive you. Just remember that prolonged bed rest weakens your muscles, so you may tire really easily.
Glad you are continuing the writing. I think that's the sign of a great novel - when the characters become people who live and breathe outside the pages. At that point, you no longer control them - they control you - and you just have to wait and see where they choose to take you. That kind of inspiration doesn't come often so grab it when it does!
12-08-2006, 08:57 PM
Gerri and Kathy, I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for both of you. Thank God you have family who recognize how special you are and are there for you when you need them! Until recently I've managed a program that assists people in Minnesota at risk of losing their homes. I've seen the heartache in the faces of those we couldn't help. But, home is really more about the people around us, isn't it? I hope both of you win your battle for disability status. Take care.