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toothfairy
10-25-2006, 07:07 PM
Hi everyone. My name is Kim and I was diagnosed with lupus in 2000 while in dental school. I'm now 29 and happily practicing as a full time dentist. I'm think I'm managing fairly well and hope to continue to do so!

Dealing with lupus is a challenge in itself, but lately, it's been even more of a problem in my relationships. I need some suggestions on how you all handle the topic with potential mates. I've had 2 failed relationships recently which have really sidelined me emotionally. They simply, "could not deal with it." I want to know your experiences with how and when you let people know about your medical condition.

Thanks!

KayCee31614
10-26-2006, 05:57 AM
Hi. I was not diagnosed while I was dating, but I had severe Dishydrotic Eczema on my hands and feet as I still do have. I had the SLE symptoms and did not know what it was, but I had problems in the dating field too. My hands were terrible and well I found that I had to be very honest and upfront with dates and tell them that this is what is happening and well it does not define who I am as a person, if you can hang then fine, but if you can not then you are free to go your way. I would do this, so that I would not get to emotionally attached to them and get hurt by them. I found that a lot of the ones that I dated did respect me and if we broke up it was not because of the illness. The ones that left, well I figured that they just were not worth my time anyway and that I was to good for them. You don't want anyone that can not accept you for who you are. You want someone that will be there through the good as well as the hard times. It is just my oppinion, but I would tell them up front and see how they react. Good Luck to you and yes you will meet someone that will accept you. I have been married for nearly 24 years and this man has stayed by my side through some serious rides with this Lupus. Hugs, Kathleen

MARYCAIN
10-26-2006, 07:09 AM
Welcome - we're really glad you're here. I've been out of the dating game so long I couldn't begin to address that issue, but I'm sure there are many others who will hopefully have some insight and suggestions for you!