View Full Version : How do I make it easier for my wife to deal with my illness?

10-09-2006, 06:37 AM
I just wanted to know if anyone has any advice on how to make this whole experience easier on my wife. She's an amazing person and I know she'll do whatever she has to to make it work, but I don't want her to end up stressed to the max or resenting me because she has to do so much when I'm in bad shape. How can I make things better for her? Please help as I want this to be as painless as possible for at least one of us. Thank you so much

10-09-2006, 11:06 AM
Andy, I know this is one of the hardest things I deal with. My husband is a dear, dear man, but I know the stress my condition puts on him, and I can see the fear in his eyes when I'm in flare. sometimes I think I have it easy...if it was him that had this, I'd worry myself to pieces.
Forgive me, I can't remember which of the dear people here posted the "spoons" link, but as soon as I read it, I forwarded it to everyone, friends and family, because it explained so well how I coped with Lupus. You should have your wife read it.
Also, make sure your spouse reads up and educates herself on the symptoms and the treatments. You'll both be better off knowing everything you can about it. It's been a great help to me to have a spouse who knows as much about this disease as I do. He can often tell when I'm about to go into flare before I can!
Love each other through the bad times, and the good times will take care of themselves. Good luck to you.

10-09-2006, 12:52 PM
The "But You Don't Look Sick - Spoon Theory" was first introduced to us by Hippimom I believe

Here is the website if you'd like to read it and share it with your wife:


Peace and Blessings