View Full Version : Help!!! Pregnant and TERRIFIED!

08-29-2006, 03:25 PM
I just found out this afternoon that I am pregnant! This is the third pregnancy, but the first since being diagnosed a few months ago. I'm really scared and wondering what pregnancy was like for anyone else out there. I called my rheumy right away and he said he didn't know "whether to congratulate or scold" me. I feel bad because I wanted more kids, but the selfish part of me feels like I cannot handle this right now, not after just being diagnosed in April and still feeling unsure about the disease itself. I worry about the meds and the fact that I just had an MRI done of my brain/spinal chord LAST WEEK before I knew. I've been crying ever since finding out (tears of happiness and fear) and don't even want to tell my family. I told my husband of course, and he's excited and worried. I'm afraid to get too attached to the idea of another baby when I know that pregnancy is higher risk for us. I guess I just needed to reach out to someone out there. Thanks so much for being the friends I need right now.

08-29-2006, 05:43 PM
Oh you poor thing .....don't cry .....rejoice :-) Sending you hugs and happy thoughts.

08-29-2006, 08:27 PM
I wish I could give you a hug right now. It's alright to be scared, afraid, worried, and every emotion in between. I'm no expert, and there are many in this group who can give you far more sound medical advice than I. I know there are many here who will rally by your side, we're friends through all seasons ! And Lord, there are enough mother's in this chat room to give you a hundred different opinions, ideas, and how to's!!!

If I may, I would like to encourage you to lay the fear aside for just a moment, yes you can reason away all the factors to be afraid. Let those fears become questions to ask your ob/gyn and rheumatologist. I feel in my heart I need to say. 1). Ask your OB/GYN about the MRI's, testing, etc. and the effect on the baby. You may want to ask about the meds you're on, and the safety of the baby. Ask as many questions as you can think of, for me it always helps to write questions down before I go to an appointment. 2). I'm sure your mind is racing a million miles a minute, but PLEASE just take some time to think this through. I believe there are a lot of questions you and your husband still need to have answered.

It is so easy to allow our emotions to rule our decisions; and my friend, I am all too guilty of that...and too many times at that. I made decisions that I still live to regret, to this very day; had I taken the time to put those emotions aside; I would have made very different decisions.
I can't begin to tell you how deeply your message has touched me. I need to stop crying so I can see the keyboard !

I am so very proud of you for reaching out; because I wasn't that brave and I didn't have the support that you do. Please, this situation is too important to panic over and to make a snap decision about. You need to be at peace about this, and to have AS MANY FACTS as you can about what you are dealing with.

I know this is such a difficult place for you to be right now; please allow yourself time to calm down, get the facts, and be at peace....this could be your miracle in the making. I have faith that all will work out. This is no easy situation you are being asked to deal with. It may seem like too much right now; but I promise you...it's better to feel a little overwhelmed right now, than a lifetime of regret later.

If in any way I have offended you, I sincerely, with all my heart apologize; my intent has not been to offend, but only to help. Just take the time you need to absorb all this...and just maybe, this could be God's way of saying "I have something wonderful here, just for you!" A wonderful way to get the rest you really need.

It is amazing how medicine and miracles work in our lives. Give this situation the time and thought it so richly deserves.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers !

Much love,

08-29-2006, 08:47 PM
Thank you so much you guys. Especially browneyedgirl. No, you didn't offend me. What you said was exactly what I needed to hear. I know things will work out, it's just that doubt and fear are such powerful initial emotions that reason and faith take a backseat sometimes. As the hours have passed today, I have become more at peace with the whole idea. I even called my family and told them the news excitedly, no crying involved! So I'm trying to push all negative thoughts and fears out of my head and act like I was during the first two pregnancies: excited. I know the mind is a very powerful thing and capable of affecting us physically, so I'm going to do everything possible to BELIEVE I will have a healthy baby. Thanks again so much for replying. Even though we've never met, I feel a kinship to all of you. Somehow, you just understand me better than even some people who have known me their entire lives!


08-30-2006, 05:41 AM
You are welcome, angel girl!

Just stay calm, get all the information you can; and breathe deep! Dare to have a new dream, a new future, there's a new life coming in your midst......what a joy!! Let there be tears of joy, and we'll all be praying for you Angie, we'll be praying for your health, the health of this precious new child you will be welcoming in to the world soon, and praying that all goes well. One of my favorite sayings is "God will never let you fall further than His loving hands can reach".

I'm so glad that you feel better about this; it's not easy to take in such unexpected news...........but what wonderful unexpected news!!!! Please keep us posted about your progress.

You will be in our prayers, sweet friend.

God bless you!

Much love,

08-30-2006, 07:49 AM
Well congratulations is definately in order for you regardless of anything else. :D It's alright to be scared. I will keep you in my prayers that God keeps you and your baby close to Him and help you through this difficulty and scary time. Lots of love and prayers your way ~butterfly :lol:

08-30-2006, 10:37 AM
Like with most things, doctors would rather avoid MRI when a woman is pregnant, but it can be done.
Unlike an x-ray, MRI used a strong magnetic field to produce the image, so your baby has not been exposed to radiation, if that was what was scaring you. The main concern is the vibration effect might trigger a miscarriage, but since you had your test done awhile ago, this shouldn't be a concern.

Some women even find that their lupus symptoms improve during pregnancy - I pray this will be your experience.

Just be careful to take care of yourself, eat well and get lots of rest! I know that's practically impossible when you have other kids, but don't hesitate to ask your husband and family for help, You are in a special situation now and deserve to be pampered.

Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.