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Saysusie
08-24-2006, 10:12 AM
Has anyone heard from St. James? I haven't seen his posts in a while and am so hoping that all is well with him.

St. James: If you are around, please let us know how you are doing!

Peace and Blessings
Saysusie

beautifulbeluga
08-24-2006, 04:56 PM
You know Saysusie, I was thinking exactly the same thing. I haven't seen any posts either. We miss you Stjames, hope you are OK and want you to know "your are missed"!!!!!!!

The beautifulbeluga

Razzleberry
08-26-2006, 06:44 AM
I've wondered where he is too ...his posts are always calming and full of information. I hope it's a vacation and not his health that has him MIA.

stjames13
08-26-2006, 06:53 AM
8) NO I am alive ...I THINK....

I put up a LONG post and it seemed as if I was looking for pity so I had to delete it......

I am in the middle of a BAD RELAPSE w/ pneumonia.....and was given a spinal tap due to BAD muscle loss and turns out I MAY have MS.

I was shocked into hiding away in my own little world.

I have yet to tellmy wife as she is planning aB-day party for me next friday so I do not want to upset her.

Sorry if I left ya'll worried, but in a way that FEELS GOOD......I just wish I did.

My hands are all broekn out with leasions n stuff.....and my mood is in the OUT HOUSE !!!!!!!!

I will try toget myself together soon, I just do not like to burden others with my problems....and i felt like I would be pity hunting had I left up the post.

THANKS FOR CARING

StJAMES :?

Razzleberry
08-26-2006, 07:29 AM
St James,

I hope you find some sort of relief in knowing that we're thinking of you and wishing only good things for you and your health. Since it's pretty much out of our control how we feel and what body parts work and what don't, no one here thinks you're looking for pity ...more like understanding and a sympathic ear (or in our case ears :-) ). You can always find that here! Post when you can. We miss you :-)

Take care and be well.

Sharon

beautifulbeluga
08-26-2006, 08:50 AM
Hi Stjames:

Am sooooo sorry you are suffering right now. If only I had a magic I would surely send it to you immediately. I really hope you get the results back and find that you don't have MS. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. And you know what if you can't get yourself together right now that's OK too. I know from your other posts you always try to keep a strong upper lip. Must be that military training, anyway being vunerable is manly. You don't always have to protect and care for everyone else. Sending love , hugs and prayers to you today and a early "happy birthday" wish.

Take care of you my friend.

The beautifulbeluga

browneyedgirl53
08-26-2006, 03:03 PM
Hi St. James,

Please, DON'T EVER think that sharing your burdens are too much. If anything, please do share. We care about you, and Lord knows, you have read through enough of all our burdens; that surely you know we don't expect you to be "absent" of pain, fear, frustration and worry. And speaking for myself, the "itty bitty pity party" is not an isolated affair. I've been; and yes, I've stayed too long a time or two. But we all need to go there; to get yanked back into "what am I most grateful for"...and you dear friend, have gone to the party....and it's a=okay with us. Just know that when you go, we miss you...and we're always right here for you !!!

When I had been hospitalized 4-5 times last year, first at UW, and then Overlake; and now most recent NW Hospital. I was ready to nail the doors shut to my life, lock all the windows in my heart.....but as faith, hope, and love perservered; people came through for me, people who I never even shared all of my concerns with!! I'm one of those "strong - independant types". Well, I learned in the most humbling way - that strong can take you a long way; but independence can stop you in your tracks. As humiliated as I felt, that I couldn't control this @#!@&* disease, and feeling like "everyone's seeing the worst in me"; I came to understand.."It wasn't about me"!! I realized that I had to put on a new pair of eyes that would allow me to see that this opportunity has allowed me to see 'THE BEST OF EVERYONE ELSE"!! TO SEE HOW MUCH I WAS LOVED.

My friend, a wise old grandmother once said to me "child, when you close the doors of communication; you close the possibilities of blessings". It is true St. James!! Just when we think that our loved ones can't handle one more thing.........they rise up, and they rise up to meet the challenge that helps them, help you to carry on; and in that "storm", the best in each of us rises up to carry each other through the valley.

Please know, we're here for you. There's an army of prayer warriors standing by to pray you through this; that those who love you will surround you with their love and their strength. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, my friend.

You are in my prayers and in the prayers of hundreds, yes even thousands; and let that love soak in to your heart. I know you are tired, and struggling about the MS news and sharing it with your wife. I too, have walked that worried road. You will know the time when to tell her, just listen to your heart my friend. It's God's way of installing a "default" mechanism in us; when we try to overthink every situation.

Much love,
Browneyedgirl

p.s. if I may share this saying with you, it really speaks the truth about friends: "I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet, when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

Let all those who love you be your wings right now, it's okay. Love is a powerful and healing balm to our weary tired bones. Let love carry on, let those who love you in.......

God Bless You St. James !!

Sunshine101
08-26-2006, 06:37 PM
Dear Stjames: Please, please take care of yourself! We are all rooting for you....Can you hear the chants coming from literally ALL OVER THE WORLD? There is a prayer chain in the midst here, my dear man. Please check in routinely to let us know how you are! Sunshine101

stjames13
08-27-2006, 09:27 AM
:cry:
YOU PEOPLE ARE SO KIND....THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!!!

I TRY TO BE THE STRONG ONE HERE AND SHOW YOU ALL THAT ALL CAN BE OK AND BEATEN OF YOU TRY AND WANT IT BAD ENOUGH.....BUT I GUESS WE ALL NEED A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KIND THINGS YOU ALL SAID AND FOR BEING THAT SHOULDER>

I PROMISE TO NOT DISSAPPEAR ANYMORE!!!!!!

GOD BLESS US ALL
THANKS SO MUCH AGAIN

St James 8)

You're right it is HARD being a man....we get all caught up in that MACHO BS, but I do it to be strong for you guys/gals and hoping that if you see me happy even though I am fighting for my life you too will fight just as hard !!!!!!

YOU PEOPLE ARE THE BEST !!!!!!! :wink:

Saysusie
08-27-2006, 09:46 AM
St. James;
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with so much right now. I had a nagging feeling that you were away because of health issues and have been holding you up in prayer for weeks now (I will continue to do so).
Do not EVER think that sharing your fears, pains, worry and frustration wiht us is looking for pity...it could not be any less so. It is SHARING and that is precisely why we are here.
I know, with the lesions on your hands, that it is difficult to post. So, don't worry about having to be here daily. Just pop in and let us know how you are so that we can give you support and comfort.
I hope that you are, somehow, able to enjoy your party.
Let me ditto a bit of what Browneyedgirl said about rising up by quoting the following:

"Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise."
Maya Angelou

I think of that stanza almost each and every time you have posted here and when you offer your wonderful words of wisdom, strength and hope to others! You will rise up again, my friend, in more ways that even you realize!!
I wish you the very best and want you to know that we are all praying for you!!

Peace and Blessings
Saysusie

browneyedgirl53
08-27-2006, 10:33 AM
Good Sunday Mornin' St. James !!

I woke up this mornin' hopeful to tune in..........and see if you were back with us this mornin', and my heart went "BOING"...a word from St. James. Thank you God, Hallelujah!! Praise the Lord !!

Take in all the beauty that your eyes can see, just for today RELAX !!
For this moment, RELAX....listen to some soothing music and enjoy your beautiful bride today.

It was so heart warming to see your post this mornin', it's nice to have you back, friend.

Much love,
Browneyedgirl

p.s. Macho Gaspacho.....the only standard you have to live by, is being true to who you are; never what you think someone else expects. We love you where you're at!! Shine on, brother !!

ButterflyRN
08-28-2006, 05:37 AM
I hope you start to feel better soon St. James! :D

stjames13
08-30-2006, 11:18 AM
8)
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU

MY TESTS CAME BACK POSOTIVE......so I am a bit in shock !!!!

BUT I DO BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND THE HELP OF OTHERS AND POSOTIVE THINKING.

I look at it this way I madeit through Viet Namn alive...a bit mentally scarred but allright for the most part.
I beat Liver cancer when they gave me 6 moths to live in 1990.
I am presently beating the docs who said I would be in a wheelchair over 2 years ago.

AND I beat all the best drug therapists who said I would end up dead from HEROIN....instead I have been clean for 17 years and am a CSAC and now I treat adolescents at the same re-hab that gave me no chance.

I am a SURVIVOR and I will do all I can to slow down the detioration process....and if that does not work I will always be great full for what I have had and especally for MY ANGEL WENDY !!!!!!!!

AS she is to me what LAURI was to SUZ......she is my Guardian Angel !!!

I say that because since she has come into my life some 25+ years ago things have gotten 100000000% better.....I still love the smell of a jasmine plant, I love to get kisses from my dogs and I cheish every bird that flies into my yard to say hello and allow me to get close enough to take thier picture, but right now I am MOST PROUD OF ALL OF YOU
FOR RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE ALL PUT ASIDE YOUR PROBLEMS TO HELP ME WITH MINE.....AND THAT IS LOVE

THANK YOU ALL

St JAMES

LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED and the BLUES :wink:

Saysusie
08-30-2006, 12:23 PM
Oh James....After all you've been through, to have to deal with yet another autoimmune disease on top of everything else! I wish that I could be there just to hold your hand and to show you how much is in my heart and how badly I want you to feel what is in my heart!!
It is unfortunate that MS is one of the diseases that we LUPIES tend to get because of our haywire immune system.
Here are some websites that might provide you with information:

http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Treatment%20Locations.asp
http://www.drugdigest.org/DD/HC/Treatment/0,4047,550020,00.html
http://www.msactivesource.com/msavProject/msas.portal
http://www.understandingms.com/ms/multiple-sclerosis-treatment.asp

I found others, but they dealt more with specific drug companies trying to market their particular drug.
From what I've been reading and researching, as with Lupus, quality of life and longevity can be sustained with medication and lifestyle changes. Pretty much the same things that you are doing to ensure a quality of life with your Lupus will help you do the same with MS.
I wish that I could be there to help you in any way that I can, but the best that I can do is to let you know that I am here and will be here for whenever you need me, whatever you need me to do and for however long you need.
Please do not ever think that you are being a burden, that WILL NEVER HAPPEN!!
Everyone here is on your side and standing by you in this new diagnosis. Take advantage of us, we are here for you!!

ALWAYS YOUR FRIEND
Saysusie

peach224
08-30-2006, 04:46 PM
Dear St. James:

I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but you are a survivor and I know that you will learn to work with this among everything else.

There is a site that I think you should read, when you have time. It is somewhat educational, but mostly just one man's perspective on having MS, and I think it will give you a laugh sometimes. He has a theory like the spoon theory but I think he calls the beer theory. The site is:

http://www.multiplesclerosissucks.com

It is a big site, so it will take a while to get through it all. Earlier this year, during the four months that the neuro kept saying that he "thought" I had MS, I spent a lot of time perusing this site. It kept my spirits up. Good luck and keep in touch.

- Peach

beautifulbeluga
08-30-2006, 07:11 PM
Oh StJames, I am really sorry about your MS dx. I was so praying that it would come out more + than the news you received. My heart is with you my friend and if anyone can kick the hell out of yet another disease it's you!!!

My love and prayers are with you. Thank God you have your angel to keep you strong, and yes you have all of us also. Take care my friend. Those kids in rehab have a real role model in you.

I would like to say something that would make you feel better but you know what I really don't have anything??? In fact, I'm mad as hell!!!!!!! at your situation. Shit, shit, shit ( those words were probably deleated).

Remember, one foot in front of the other.

Love, hugs and more hugs to you.

The beautifulbeluga

browneyedgirl53
08-30-2006, 09:55 PM
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Oh St. James, how I wish you could know how much we feel for you right now. Let the tears fall, let the fear surface for but a moment...and take in all the love that is being sent your way.

You have endured so much in your life, and as Martin Luther King described his ideal of a "Man"...you my friend, have more than qualified. You are an honorable man, whose spirit cannot now nor will ever be beaten. You were born for this; you were born to perservere...through the pain, and believe it or not; there will be those glorious still moments, when perhaps there's no one around; and you can sense the presence of God. You are not alone St. James. It's men like you, that I thank God for every day - because I have the voice and freedom to speak out about what I believe in. I am not ashamed to tell you; I believe in God!!

We have never been promised a charmed or simple life. There are many who choose to accept their fate and pass the time away in passive pose. You are not that kind of man, I challenge you to let the music you love so much - be a signature of your life. Make every moment with your bride, a memory that will live forever - and make the most of your days with your family and friends, for they will make you rich!! You are a spiritual millionaire, your spirit makes you free....not your body; when your body aches and you need to escape - close your eyes; dream about LIFE. Because it's true what they say - life is about what you're doing now to prepare for tomorrow (or something like that).

There are prayers all over the world going up on your behalf. I pray that you will have the faith to ALWAYS believe that you will never be alone. I pray that you will have the courage to never give up; and I pray that you will keep the music in your heart alive....and make it a gift to the world; and most of all, I pray that you will have peace, strength to endure, and to know love beyond your wildest dreams.

You are in my thoughts and prayers, friend!

Much love,
Browneyedgirl

Quarterhorsegal
08-31-2006, 04:39 AM
St. James,
I hope you are feeling much better very soon. You continue to be an inspiration with your positive attitude. We all have our down moments and we certainly do not expect you to be different, but the manner in which you deal with it has helped to change my attitude and get me through some rough days. My thoughts and prayers and with you.

stjames13
08-31-2006, 05:51 AM
8)
I SHALL BEAT THIS AND AS BROWNEYEDGIRL PUT IT MY MUSIC WILL BE MY STRENGTH AND LEGACY !!!!!!!

You all are so wonderfull.......if the world could only look inside thise forum and act accordingly it would be a much nicer place.

Thanks for all the prayers and uplifting notations...I will keep them all at the forefront of my head so when I am down and having a BAD DAY I will thin of what you all have said to me and THAT ALONE will make THAT DAY EASIER

THANK YOU SO MUCH

St JAmes :wink:

stjames13
08-31-2006, 06:00 AM
SUZ AND PEACH THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LINKS....I willbe going to each one today to learn what I can.

Your strength is getting to me along with the fact that tomorrow is my birthday adn SATURDAY my wife is throwing me a SURPRISE PARTY.

SHe does not know I know and I will NOT ruin it for her and let her know.

One of her frinds called to rsvp and let the cat out of the bag, but that's ok it's the thought that really matters here as all she is thinking about is making me SMILE....ya gotta LOVE a woman like that..and she is all mine !!

NEXT YEAR FOR HER WE are re-taking our vows which she knows nothing about for our 25 anniversary !!!!!!

ANd she can still fit in that gorgeous dress she wore on the beach in ST THOMAS when we first wed.....GOD SHE WAS SO GORGEOUS !!!!!

I can;t wait to do this for her....so there is one reason I have NO TIME to be sick !!!!!!!!

THANKS AGAIN TO ALL....I NEVER KNEW I HAD SO MANY FRIENDS

AND I USED TO SAY I HATE PEOPLE.....WELL THAT WAS BEOFRE I MET YA"LL !!!!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART !!!

St James :wink: 8) :cry: :D

browneyedgirl53
08-31-2006, 04:07 PM
DITTO....DITTO......DITTO

Here's wishing you a birthday filled with all your favorite people, remembering how far you've come, how blessed you are; and how loved you will always be!!

Dance like noone is watching, love like you've never been hurt; and well, I say dance some more (smile).

Much love,
Browneyedgirl

Saysusie
09-01-2006, 07:41 AM
St. James :lol:

Wishing you a birthday that is filled with much love, joy, happiness and even more love!!!

Take very good care of yourself my dear friend :lol:

Peace and Blessings
Saysusie

stjames13
09-09-2006, 12:05 PM
8)
THANKS ALL,

YOUR HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISHES CAME TRUE MY WIFE THREW ME A SURPRISE PARTY AND FRIENDS FROM OREGON EVEN FLEW ALL THE WAY CROSS COUNTRY JUST TO SEE ME !!!!!

THE PAIN AND BAD FEELING WENT AWAY IMMEDIATLEY AS SOON AS PEOPLE STARTED WALKING IN>>>SHE WENT ALL OUT HAD IT CATERED AND IT WAS MORE THAN I EVER EXPECTED>..

SO I DO HAVE PLENTY OF GOOD FRIENDS AND A GREAT LOVING WIFE AND YOU GUYS BACKING ME UP

THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE WELL WISHES>>>I AM DOING BETER BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY NOW !!!!!!

STJAMES 8) :wink:

stjames13
09-10-2006, 06:45 AM
8)
I just re-read this POST and wanted to say that THIS is what we all need to do.
WE NEED to BAND together and be as ONE. Our VOICES willbe heard when we are one.

But if we continue to argue about what some DR said on Good Morning America.....sheesh look between the lines he is ONE PERSON with ONE NOTION, but at least he;s TRYING and not arguing about wether or not he was right...if what he said gets one MORE reseasrch scientist to get into looking at the infrastructure of LUPUS then maybe another will follow and soon we may have an army of DOCTORS all looking for the cure

SADLY the problem is research and the FDA are so slow and corrupt by the time we get a chance to try half of the drugs they are working on we will die of OLD AGE !!!!

If they spent 1/1000 of the money they spend on that DUMB AZZZ SPACE SHUTTLE on what realy is killing us on EARTH then maybe we would have chance.....but our coutry is so capitolistic and EGOTISTICAL it is more IMPORTANT that we LAND ON MARS NOW FIRST....WHY wat do we win???

If we were to go to EUROPE OR CANADA we would find a ton of drugs that OUR FDA won;t allow but thousand are being cured or put into permanent stages of putting the LUPUS to sleep.

How do you think that alotof AIDS patients are still alive..certainly NOT BY HE DRUGS OUR FDA APPROVED, by goingout of the country and getting drugs that our FDA will take another 10 year to approve.....

Well I for one would rather pass away trying to find the cure so others can live , rather than sit here in agony and on OUR own personal HE&&

STJAMES 8)

Saysusie
09-10-2006, 10:12 AM
Right On St. James...so, let's put this to rest now

Saysusie

stjames13
09-11-2006, 05:39 AM
8)
GLADLY :lol: :wink: :D 8)


ST JAMES 8)

stardust
09-13-2006, 08:40 PM
I' new, so I don't know you, I am reading lots of posts to learn about people here but WOW! your's was one of the most focused venting I have ever heard !!!!!!

Sounds like you have a lot to say and have no issue saying it
A quality I respect.

:)

stjames13
09-14-2006, 05:19 AM
8)
WHY THANK YOU STARDUST, AND WELCOME TO OUR BOARD.

I hope you are feeling well today and will continue to stop in and participate in our conversations.

HAVE A GREAT DAY !!!!!

STJAMES 8)