View Full Version : Anybody having some depression?
07-09-2006, 06:05 PM
I am just wondering what you fellow lupusans do for depression? I have been diagnosed with SLE, RS, migraines and restless legs for about 12 years and seem to be in a bad flare. I have a spider bite from June of 2005 and am on my second unna boot this month....darn thing won't heal....like everything else. Anyhow, I take my daily depression medication, along with the plaquenil and all the other goodies that come with this crummy disease, but I am still really in the dumps. I didn't get dressed all weekend. I hurt and I feel like I am on the brink of crying at any given moment. Does this sound familiar to anybody??? I feel worthless, I don't want to go to work tomorrow (but MUST) and know I won't be able to sleep again tonight. The pain doc gave me an RX for Requip but I can't afford to fill the darn thing. My house is a mess, I am out of groceries and toilet paper is running low...I don't want to have to try to pull myself together to go anywhere. Any suggestions? Sunshine101
07-09-2006, 07:03 PM
Awww, I know how you feel. I have my moments of depression. :cry: Every morning is an effort to roll out of bed. I work all week and off on the weekends thank goodness. I use the weekends to rest and relax. I just feel so down and tired, even with 6 hrs of sleep. Ever since the weather has gotten warm, I've been having more bad days. I get headaches often, tired all the time, moody, and emotional. I just watched a movie this weekend, and I ended up crying through the movie. :cry: I get lonely and frustrated at times. Its so frustrating explaining to everyone why I'm feeling so tired all the time, or that I just want to stay home and rest in bed, instead of hanging out. :( I spend much of my free time at home, so I'm glad I joined this forum. Everyone's been very friendly, open, and helpful. I feel comfortable sharing my experiences and asking my questions. I feel less alone knowing that there are others out there that are experiencing what I'm feeling. Thanks for the support everybody! :wink:
So, Sunshine 101, keep your chin up and whenever you need to vent or just need a friend to talk to, you know where to find me. Take care... Have a good nite! :D
07-10-2006, 07:15 AM
Hi Sunshine101 :lol:
Yes, we all have felt that way. More often than we'd like to admit. I have days when, Like Buddahbelly said, it is soooo hard to get out of bed. Your muscles ache and burn, I wake up most mornings with a @#!*&ing migraine that takes ALL DAY to downgrade to a headache and I find myself thanking GOD for the headache because I can at least function with a headache.
I get lonely, depressed and then I start the self pity thing..."no one really wants to be around me 'cuz I'm always sick and I always have so many limitations and precautions, no one calls me anymore, no one visits, I spend all of my time at home, by myself...yaddi yaddi yaddi (I have a litany of these self-pitying moans). All of this just exacerbates my depression and, like you, I end up in tears.
This goes on for days and sometimes for weeks. Everyone here says that it is quite all right to fall into our depressive states and self-pitying states for a while, we all deserve to cry about ourselves and our situations. Just as long as we come out of it after a reasonable period of time. So, I allow myself the luxory of being sad and depressed from time to time.
Remember, as Buddahbelly said, you have friends here to whom you can say anything and we will not judge you. We all understand and will give you as much comfort and support as we can. Mostly, we have all been there and we truly, truly understand how you feel!!
Peace and Blessings
07-11-2006, 07:15 PM
Good grief, yes -- I don't have a firm diagnosis of Lupus yet, but I have been fighting whatever it is that I have (up til now they have said it is a bad case of fibromyalgia plus a whole lot of arthritis) for almost 8 years now, and when I look back at the year or so leading up to when I first got sick, I think depression was really the first major symptom I had. A couple of years later when all my health problems were in full bloom I mentioned being depressed to my favorite doctor. He told me (God love the man!) that given what I was dealing with in terms of physical problems and what they had done to my life, he would be more worried if I WASN'T depressed. Everything you said, SaySusie, sounded exactly on the nose as if I had written it myself. So I think it is safe to assume that there is a lot of it going around!
It always seems to me that it is sort of a "chicken or the egg" sort of thing...Is the depression one of the symptoms of the lupus, or are we depressed because of what the disease costs us in our daily life?? Like so many things, I suspect the truth lies somewhere in the middle -- it's a little of both. I also think dealing with chronic pain wears you down physically and emotionally more than the doctors want to admit.
I wish I could say I had a magic formula to banish depression but if there is one I have yet to find it. Do take your antidepressant meds -- I got over-confident a couple of years ago and decided they weren't working so why take 'em? -- got slammed with the worst depression ever -- I'll never do that again! There can be some value in talking to a therapist if you can find one you like - it's a place to vent, and sometimes they can give you a fresh perspective on things and/or some tools to cope with the depression and any other problems you may be dealing with. Some of them specialize with chronic illness and can help with pain management - mine wants to try hypnotherapy to help me with mine. I'll let everyone know when I try it if it helps.
The most important thing is to don't let the depression spiral out of control to the point where you are thinking about hurting yourself...if you get that close to the end of your rope, do SOMETHING concrete to get a handle on things - tell your family or a friend, call a crisis hotline, go to the emergency room if it comes to it, but tie a knot in your rope and hang on somehow.
Probably more than anything, I think talking to someone who understands is the most helpful thing. So keep posting on this forum - it sure seems to be a wonderful warm understanding group of folks- and if you ever want a friendly place to vent one-on-one, feel free to email me!
Hugs and good wishes to all-
Sorry you are feeling so low at the moment. It stinks! Those days when you cannot bare to be in your flat because it is such a mess and you havent washed up in days and you have no food in, but at the same time you cannot get the energy or motivation together to go out either. I am never sure whether this is because of the depression or fatigue but either way it is the stupid lupus!
I totally agree with the talking it through with someone. I found it really hard at first because I needed to be strong for my family to make them feel better about me being ill so I found a free counselling service through a local church and I can just go and be honest and rant about the stupid lupus and the stresses and unfairness etc.
The other thing I would say is that if the antidepressants you are on at the moment dont work go back to your Dr and tell them. I went on some a couple of years ago now. I took them for about 3 months and I was still doing the random crying thing so my friend took me back to the Dr and she gave me some different ones. They were soooo much better!
Hope you are feeling brighter soon
07-12-2006, 09:07 AM
Depression can be crippling, and it sounds as though you're feeling overwhelmed now. It's understandable, considering what you're going through.
Feeling overwhelmed can turn little things into big ones. To me, it's important to try not to think of everything all at once. If you can focus on one thing you can do for yourself, and do it, that's a good start. Think small; sometimes for me, getting into the shower is a victory. Sometimes, I'll pick a room that needs cleaning, and spend 15 minutes straightening up. I try to pick things that are achievable...if I thought about how messy the whole house is, I'd feel in over my head. But picking one room narrows the scope of my goals. Maybe this could work for you, too.
I hope you find some relief. Reaching out can be very tough to do, but it is one of the keys to breaking the cycle of depression. Whether it's on this forum, with a therapist, a support group, or friends and family, it's important to express your feelings in some way.
07-12-2006, 07:18 PM
I totally agree with you JM815. :wink: Do one thing at a time and don't overwhelm yourself. If you focus on one task and complete it, you'll feel a sense of accomplishment and feel good about yourself. This'll cheer you up from your depression. :D Take it one day at a time. 8)
08-13-2006, 07:08 PM
I know how you must feel i have had lupus for 5 years now and i just got a job serving food to people. So being on my feet all day can take a toll on me plus i never told my boss that i had lupus cuz i did not want theam to treat me any diferent. As far as your depression goes i know how you feel on that too! i was not taking anything up untill my doctor wanted me to try zoloft and i have been on it for over 6 weeks now and im loving this pill!! :wink: i feel that im more happy and can be more positive then being so down about everything in life. its bad enough that lupus is messing up alot for us so dont let depression do the same, hun hold your head up and hopefully you will see a brighter day!! :D