View Full Version : very scared

09-13-2013, 04:21 PM
I go in for my coloposcopy on Monday to find out whether I might have cancer in any of my womens parts. I am feeling vey anxious and scared. my papsmear came back clear but they found a lesion on the examination that is why I have to have more tests and also they said it is because I am taking immune suppressant drugs it can affect my likelihood of cervical cancer have any of you heard this before or gone through similar. also my husbands health has gotten worse in last few weeks doctors worried he may have start of heart failure and may need valve replacement quicker than we thought.and to top it off my eldest daughter sarah made another attempt to hurt herself due to the fact that my dead sisters partner sexual assaulted my daughter when she was a child and she is still having trouble dealing with it her post traumatic stress disorder has not been getting any better and she is in her 6 year of councelling. we hoped to see her married and have children by now. but she has trust issues. the only bright thing we are looking forward to is my youngest child mikaela graduates highschool in November and will be having her prom. well that is my bit of news . hope you are all doing okay miss talking to you will let you know what happens my friends, hugs kim

09-14-2013, 01:20 AM
it is not easy for us when lots of different "things" are happening at the same time. I have had a colonoscopy ....... apart from the fear of the unknown, it was actually quite interesting to see what was going on, and how my body works. I also spoke to the doctor, .. as we both looked at the inside of me .. about how my lupus was effecting this part of my body. the fear was unfounded. and my body did function a lot better after having its "rinse and clean". please remember that any cancer caught early enough has a good chance of recovery ....... and many suspected cancers turn out not to be cancers when looked at properly. so steven has to have a valve replacement earlier than first expected ....... yes it is a scary and risky operation ....... but he will be better for it than he is now. my wife and stepdaughter both have been sexually assaulted. my wife has not fully adjusted to it .... even after many many years of councelling and 2 husbands. she will never obtain a point in her life where it will not effect her. but she has 6 children she loves very dearly. she has learnt to accept her issues, and use them as a strength. I hope your daughter can too. please look at each of these issues as separate parts to your total picture, and deal with them one at a time. if you add all of them together they can become an overpowering problem. but isolated they are still problems, but they are now singular problems that can be dealt with. I have had to teach myself to not add all of my problems together ..... or I cannot deal with them. but one at a time I can work through them. as I finish what is the most important one, I start on the next one. I may never finish this journey ..... but it is a journey not a road block. love always ........ steve

09-14-2013, 01:25 AM
Sending good thoughts your way, Kim.

09-14-2013, 01:30 AM
thankyou steve you are a good listener and friend it helps to chat to you . I always feel calmer after our chats thank you hugs kim

09-14-2013, 01:33 AM
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09-14-2013, 09:41 PM
In my rounds of doctors to get a diagnosis I was referred to the GI. He couldn't find what was wrong & wanted to send me to the gynecologist to check for endometriosis. He told me the gynecologist wouldn't see me unless he did a colonoscopy, so we scheduled that first. I opted to be asleep under anesthesia during the procedure. (I don't wish to be chatting or watching anyone while looking into my bum.) Before I went in I handled things fine as this was just routine, and the doc didn't expect to find anything. However, my anxiety got the best of me while signing the forms - they had to outline worst case scenario to gain my permission and directives. I guess I just wasn't prepared fo all that. (which is why I'm sharing my story, not to scare you, but to hopefully help you be more prepared.) the nurse saw I was getting anxious and had them take me back before I'd even completed signing the forms. The anesthesiologist gave me something for the anxiety, I finished the forms, and then the anesthesiologist put me out. It was a bit weird having my backside exposed and being positioned on the table. But that didn't last long as I was sleeping after I counted only 2 numbers from 10 to 8. I woke up flat on my back with blankets in their post op section. I was coming to and I heard nurses over me saying,"they were the biggest I've ever seen." talking about the polyps they removed. It was a bit funny how astounded they were. Once the fog lifted and I was completely awake I was chatty, as in talking 90 miles an hour, and I had to pee. They let me go to the restroom by myself, so that was a plus. Turns out the doctor removed two large pre-cancerous polyps. He said at my age I never would have had a colonoscopy under any normal circumstances, and the polyps would have killed me within 5 years.
So my journey was a blessing. Though it was scary at first, uncomfortable at best, but certainly life saving. I had to repeat another colonoscopy after a year to make sure the doc had gotten all of the polyp. He did, luckily, so I got my all clear, and now I only have to have one once every 5 years. So don't worry so much. The best thing about all of my experience is I have photos to show that I am not full of @#*% like I'm told often enough. Someone tells me thqt phrase these days and I respond, "no I'm not - I have pictures to prove it". Breathe deep and don't let what's unknown drive your imagination wild. I know that's hard to do, because I couldn't do it myself. Find something distracting between now and then. My favorites are the auto-correct websites (I cry from laughing so hard at those) and lol cats.
Good luck on your proceedure!

09-15-2013, 06:57 AM
Kim, all I have are tons of hugs for you

We are all struggling one way or another.