View Full Version : Learning to accept

09-11-2013, 03:23 AM
Hello. I was diagnosed about 7 yrs ago with fibromalgia and within the yrs following, I gained the title Mixed Connective Tissue Disease... Then about two yrs ago, the doctor said what I had always feared...”you have Lupus.” I didn't feel any different and continued to take the same meds...Plaquinil and Neurontin. I felt blessed to have milder symptoms. This past week has been TERRIBLE. I have had intermittent fevers for five days now. Went to my primary doc yesterday. I never realized with Lupus there is SO MANY possibilities to the symptoms I am having. My upper left abdomen/chest/side has been hurting, too. I had to call off work today and for the first time, I have found myself crying ”I just want my old body back!” Hopefully, after drawing eight tubes of blood and going thru some testing, I will have answers. In the meantime, I am glad I found this site for some support. If I hear one more person who doesn't have Lupus say ”but, you look so good”, I may scream.

09-11-2013, 07:30 AM
Welcome to WHL. I am glad you went to the doctor. Never mess with what could be organ involvement (heart, lung, kidneys, brain). There's a learning curve but it gets easier and they will begin to get things settled into your "new normal". Vents way here. We get it and we understand

09-11-2013, 08:08 AM
Hey Anna! I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I have actually been well enough to **run** the last few months (major, MAJOR victory) and then, wouldn't you know it, a nasty flare... just when my spirits were soaring! The last few weeks, I too have been crying "I want my old body back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I understand what you're dealing with and I hope you're on the up and up soon!


09-11-2013, 09:50 AM
Hi Anna,

I also had that happen to me. In June I was doing good. I was starting to feel better. I did a few things over July 4th and that was it. Back into this nasty flare. I have had fevers on/off, a lot of pain in my chest/heart area, and major joint/muscle pains. I am still in it and I don't think it's going to let up. At least it feels that way. I know what you mean about people saying "Well, you look good today!" I want to say "You should see my insides!" I wish I could have my old body back too. It is hard to accept sometimes. I am having trouble accepting the new me. I was an active person and now I am unable to do the things I love. I am trying to be acceptable of my new self with Lupus, but it's hard. I sometimes catch myself crying about what I have lost. That may sound like a downer attitude, but right now just how I feel. I hope it will pass soon.
I pray your flare will soon ease and you may find relief.


09-23-2013, 09:44 PM
MONO... it's mono(just found out today)... enlarged spleen... can't afford to miss work... taking it one day at a time.