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Jaynie
08-18-2013, 11:32 AM
I'm doing the head thing again. I cope with being ill, I cope with limits, I micro-manage everything and really have very few obligations.
But it's summer.
The kids are home (5). My DH has two weeks off work.
Suddenly there are six million things to do that I don't want to have to miss or struggle through.

I always find it hard to calm my emotional panic when I see days and days ahead of things that I want to do and know I won't manage. My brother is visiting for the first time in four years and I'm all weedy feeling and anxious. I'm trying to prioritise but I want to do it all.

At times like these Lupus is a very cruel illness...sometimes letting me feel completely fine, as long as I just sit there doing nothing. I'm able to watch everything that needs doing, but not do it. I have all the time in the world to think about what needs doing, but I can't do it. I have all the time to worry about it as well, but with none of that ability to whizz round and get it done.

Plod plod plod think think think

Maybe if I wasn't emotionally constipated I could have a good cry?!

At times like these my Amitryptaline tablets are my saviours. Sleep in a bottle.

Jx

Nonna
08-19-2013, 06:10 PM
I know the feeling we all do. If we push through it we get sick. Just do what you can and go with the flow.
That's all. You can do

lucky7
08-21-2013, 12:39 PM
AWWWWW, Jaynie! Im so SAD for YOU! I UNDERSTAND as many of us do....Oh so true Nonna, we get SICK if we do push through it... My husband gets so mad at me when he sees me TRYING to be the "OLD ME" BUT, I get so anxious to do it all like I used to.....I am BETTER about "it" more now though....Time has made me better manage what I CAN and CANT do in a days time..... Jaynie, I read about our illnesses that we should make a list (daily) and put on it what we WANT to do that day and then TELL OURSELVES we are only going to do a FEW of those things no matter what....WE have to be REALISTIC on WHAT our bodies can handle now in our lives.....OUR HEALTH is NUMBER ONE.....My husband tells me that all the time....He says "jeannette, if all you can do today is get a light walk in on the treadmill to HELP YOURSELF, then THATS all you do". He tells me THAT is what makes HIM HAPPY and HE feels BETTER to know I HAVENT "HURT" myself.....PUT YOURSELF and YOUR HEALTH FIRST on a DAILY basis....Then YOU are BETTER for YOUR LOVED ones...Even though you arent the "old you" doing ALL the "things" you used to do...OUR loved ones have to "GET IT" to help us through "it".... TAKE CARE OF YOU