View Full Version : rant.
08-07-2013, 05:37 PM
Im 22 and was diagnosed at 17. I can't help but get upset when i read some of these posts from older people going through the same thing. Like, it never gets better? Then I read from younger people and it breaks my heart because I can relate, I know exactly how they feel when they say "im at war with myself." There is absolutely no one that gets it around you. Your friends try to help and try to be there for you. But, if you're anything like me it's embarassing to not be able to keep up with people your own age. I don't expect any of my friends to relate to the emotional battle I face day to day. Im at such a low point. I just want a little ounce of hope.
08-08-2013, 08:21 PM
I'm so sorry you are going through this at such a young age. I can imagine the lonliness you feel when you can't keep up with your friends. I hope you have a good support system. Are you close with your family? If you get on the right medication you can live a somewhat normal life. Don't give up hope. You will have up and downs but believe me, all the ups make it worth it. I still enjoy most parts of my day. I know its hard but try and focus on what is good in your life and focus your energy there. You can always come here to vent and know that we understand. I hope you start feeling better. Stay strong!
Why i'm 22 too, diagnosed at 14. I have learned to live day by day and never really think too far in the future because it makes me depressed. I went 3 years in a great remission, I traveled a bunch of times once oversees and lived a year in college out of town. So not all of it is bad. Like Shelly said the ups make everything worth it, it's the little things to fight for and looks forward to. Really the only person there for me was my mom and there wasn't a lot of online support to minors like there is now. Of course I never gave any of my friends a chance to understand because I only told them like 5% of was really going on and I rarely let them see me like at my sickest. That's probably I don't have any friends because we all drifted apart. Really as much as a healthy person says they understand what you go through the only people who 100% do is other chronically ill people so we all know exactly what you mean that your lonely. I know this is going to sound corny but do you have pet? I got my cat as a kitten like a month before I first got sick and he really helped me through it all and still does. Feel free to message me anytime, since were the same age I don't mind if you want to just chat with another lupie!
08-21-2013, 10:05 PM
Hi Janelle. I was diagnosed at 19. I remember everything like it was yesterday. I had all the same feelings you have. I joined a support group but quit quickly because it was full of "old people who just complained". I went through a huge war with myself. I don't know any friends (from back then) who have gotten any illnesses so no one understood... in fact, I felt abandoned. I found out years later that they were scared. they didn't know what to say or talk about. they were afraid of hospitals. I am humiliated to say that years later I have been one of those people (who have been afraid to visit someone who is sick) because I felt uncomfortable!!! What the heck!!!??? It is so different being the patient then being the parent, the friend, the caretaker, the nurse, the acquaintance, etc. Everyone has a different view. My advice is to allow people to do things for you (don't deny them the blessing of helping you out)... not that you do... but I have always found it hard to accept help. There is so much to say...
I highly recommend that you don't pay too much attention to us "old people" (I am 39). It's not worth it to look too far ahead because we all have such different stories. It's too hard to know what your future will look like!!!
I will say that having a chronic illness has allowed me to really appreciate life and take advantage of all opportunities that I can. It inspired me to travel, to be independent, to accomplish my goals, to live a life of bucket lists, and to appreciate just being on the earth for the short time that we have (I mean in the grand scheme of things... the average life span is around 80 years... this world is millions of years old), so take advantage of it when you feel well and embrace everything!!!!
You need to vent, ask questions, and be heard. You don't need to bombard yourself with the unknown of this disease... although easier said then done!!! I so remember being in your position. You are so welcome to ask anything or just be heard!!! I have a lived a very exciting life because of my lupus... I don't think I would have done the things I did had I not have had lupus!!!
:) thinking about you !!!!!