View Full Version : I just wish her lupus would be healed for good

07-31-2013, 04:27 PM
My older sister KC was sick and in the hospital for a good 3 months, and when she wasn't in the hospital she was in the emergency room. This was a few years ago. Since after her doctor found the right balance of her medications she's been healthy as ever. But now she is back in the hospital. Doctors are not sure what is wrong and hopefully its nothing too major like past experiences. Although a few years ago I wouldn't want to leave the hospital and I would want to stay with her until she was released, but this time now that she is back in the hospital, I don't even want to think about going there. I'm not %100 sure why I'm so against going to see her. I love her, she's my sister. I think I just want to do my best to avoid the situation so I don't get stressed out and overwhelmed like I have been in the past. I guess if I don't visit her, and don't have to see her sick in that hospital bed, I can just pretend that she isn't sick at all. My dad and mom visit her regularly so she won't be lonely I guess. I almost feel guilty about not seeing her the past week she's been in the hospital, or selfish that I don't want to help her and accompany her. Is it bad that I would rather be home alone then talk to her?...

I just wish that her lupus and everyone else illnesses could be cured and no one would need to live with the grief and stress that come from them.


(sort of on another topic.. Its been a long time since I posted in here, I love you guys and thank you for being there for me)

07-31-2013, 11:15 PM
this is a very natural reaction ...... we are afraid of what we cannot control. by you understanding this fear ..... you have made the first step towards overcoming it. just remember it is a normal reaction to something you have no control over.

08-05-2013, 11:34 AM
I completely understand your fear and trepidation and, as Steve mentioned, what you are feeling is quite natural. The only thing that I would say is that going to see her or talk to her is for HER. Sometimes we have to put our feelings aside so that we can provide someone else with what THEY NEED.
The sad truth is..Lupus is a chronic disease! Meaning, that some form of it will be with us for many years and possibly for the rest of our lives. So, you cannot avoid your sister for the rest of her life or for years because you do not want to think of her as sick.
I understand that you do not want to become over-stressed or overwhelmed. That, too, is quite natural and I am sure that she does not want you to do so also. However, I am going to assume that your feelings of being overwhelmed are due to you not understanding the disease and/or how it affects your sister. I always say that it is extremely important that our loved-ones educate themselves about our disease and, specifically, how the disease affects us. Also, it helps if our loved ones understand the treatments for our disease and what is the expected outcome of those treatments. You fear for her health and, subsequently, your own emotional health. The best way to alleviate any kind of fear is with knowlege!
It might be helpful for you to find a way to be supportive of your sister in a manner that is not detrimental to you. But, I feel that it is important that you make this effort to be there for her! You might find that doing so is helpful to you both.

Peace and Blessings