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View Full Version : Why we don't "push through"



tgal
06-13-2013, 11:37 PM
I see so many of you post about "pushing through" the pain, fatigue or flare and we say things like "We don't recommend pushing through we recommend listening to your body and getting rest as needed yada, yada, yada. The yada yada is at me. It IS what we recommend and it is what we all know is best but we all know there are times we "push through".

Well I just spent a month and a half "pushing through". My daughters HS graduation and then her college New Student Orientation and I had it all planned. As soon as NSO was done I was taking off and resting my body. I pushed, pushed and pushed and I knew I was getting worse. I "adjusted my meds" (new people don't do this) as needed to help me keep going. I made it! NSO ended on Thurs night and I was on the couch doing what I promised, resting. By Sunday night I was in the ER coughing up blood and by Weds I was in the hospital which is where I am writing you from now. Instead of doing what I needed to do and resting some as I went I wanted to do it all and I am paying the price. A price I didn't have to pay. There was a way to do all of the important things for her and sti take care of me but "this was important". Those words seem to always get me in trouble. I need to remind myself that my health is just as important as getting those perfect napkins.

Rembee that you only have so many "spoons" a day. You can borrow from the future for awhile but it does catch up with you and te payment is much bigger than what you borrowed. I am telling you about this because the next time you keep "pushing through" I want you to remember this post and lay down for a little while

SleepyInSeattle
06-14-2013, 07:25 AM
Mari, I am sorry you're hurting....I can totally relate to "pushing through". It's so hard to give up and give in!
(((((((hugs))))))))

Jaynie
06-14-2013, 08:03 AM
Oh Mari,
Thanks for sharing that and I'm sorry you're so poorly!
I'm a terror for pushing through it and most of the time I manage because 'it's important' and 'I'll rest tomorrow'. I tend to find I'm more likely to push myself when I feel like I'm going downhill because I'm in denial and trying to fight it. My head is nuts....I can hear the cautionary tale and my head is saying "thank God that's not me, I HAVE to carry on!"
It is so so hard to take time out. I'm not a rester in nature and people that flaunt their illnesses around for attention drive me mad because I am so determined never to give in. (I'm by no means labelling anyone on here! lol!)
So...if YOU'RE a grown up and saying "take time out".... Maybe I need to rethink my strategy.....
Love to you.....
Jx

steve.b
06-14-2013, 09:09 AM
I know we have spoken privately, ..... but I will say it here, so all can see. when we are in the middle of something important, ..... we are usually unable to see the damage we are doing to ourselves. I quietly mentioned to you to take care of yourself. it is so easy to get involved in the "important" things. and it is very hard to step back. please everyone who is reading this..... stop every night and look at what you have done today. if it was a lot ..... then think about slowing down for a day or two. it is never easy, but we have to learn to say "NO".

BonusMom
06-14-2013, 08:10 PM
Mari-
I wondered how you were keeping up with all if your daughter's activities. Like most of us, you did what you had to do in order to be able to attend all of her events.

And it cost you. Dearly.

I understand completely the sacrifice you made, but am so sorry that you are feeling so poorly now.

Rest up, take care of yourself and know that we're thinking about you.

tgal
06-15-2013, 01:19 AM
Oh Mari,
Thanks for sharing that and I'm sorry you're so poorly!
I'm a terror for pushing through it and most of the time I manage because 'it's important' and 'I'll rest tomorrow'. I tend to find I'm more likely to push myself when I feel like I'm going downhill because I'm in denial and trying to fight it. My head is nuts....I can hear the cautionary tale and my head is saying "thank God that's not me, I HAVE to carry on!"
It is so so hard to take time out. I'm not a rester in nature and people that flaunt their illnesses around for attention drive me mad because I am so determined never to give in. (I'm by no means labelling anyone on here! lol!)
So...if YOU'RE a grown up and saying "take time out".... Maybe I need to rethink my strategy.....
Love to you.....
Jx

It's funny you mention people flaunting their disease driving you crazy. They tend to do that to me as well. Not counting those on this board there are about 6 people that know where I am. Yes, 6 in my whole life and I have been here since Weds and was taken to the ER ON Sund. Heck, I have not even told my brothers that I am in the hospital. My niece knows. My daughter of course. A few chosen friends and those of you here because I felt the need to share the warning because I have kept seeing things like "pushing through".

No. I don't wear my disease as a badge but I am having to learn to not be ashamed of it.


PS No, I didn't think you were slamming me :)

Jaynie
06-15-2013, 01:28 AM
No. I don't wear my disease as a badge but I am having to learn to not be ashamed of it.



I'm learning that too. Very few people get an honest answer to the question "how are you?" It's a hard lesson, I do struggle with it.

Hope you're beginning to feel better xxx

mystiejm
06-16-2013, 07:42 PM
Praying for you! I hope you get better fast. Hugs

mystiejm
06-18-2013, 10:12 PM
Checking up on you, how are you doing?

Nonna
06-19-2013, 04:08 AM
Hey Mari
Just saw this. Hugs and understanding is here. I'm learning I can't have days in bed anymore just days on the recliner. Caring for senior is harder than I thought, it's hard dealing with their emotions

steve.b
06-19-2013, 04:56 AM
...... Caring for senior is harder than I thought, ......

thinking of you, H U G S

tgal
06-19-2013, 10:30 AM
Oh Nonna I know this has to be wearing you out! I think of you often. I am here if you need me.

thanks for all of the kind thoughts. I have a doctors appointment at 215. We will see how things are looking. I am feeling better although tired

BonusMom
06-19-2013, 07:50 PM
How did your follow-up appointment go?

Koilover512
06-20-2013, 09:52 AM
I completely understand the “push through”. I woke up yesterday with chest pain. It hurt when I would take deep breaths, bend over to pick something up, sit down from standing or laying down flat. I have had this looked into before at emergent care. They told me to go home and call my doctor. My rheumy ordered a 2d echo. That came back fine. So yesterday I got this chest pain again. I still went to work and just dealt with it. After a while I just got use to it…… I didn’t want to let the team down. I want my co-workers to be able to count on me to be there.

seeker
06-22-2013, 05:30 PM
sorry to read that you are not feeling well.

I no longer suffer in silence. no one appreciates a martyr. our loved ones want us healthy and well.

when I first became sick, I was young and thought that i'd be able to live my life as I always had. I was constantly in the er.

since then I learned to accept help when offered, and most importantly ask for it when needed.

take care and get well.

- seeker