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debbie-b
05-29-2013, 02:47 PM
As many of you know, we were going to move back to Texas in July, that is where the kids and grand kids are.
My husband and I have given our notice's. Today my husband came home telling me that the president of the company came to see him, to offer him a huge promotion, if he would stay. My husband told him, that he had to talk to me first( good boy).
When he told me first, I was almost mad at him, for considering it, because both of us and all the kids are so excited. But then he was starting to make a lot of sense.
This job and promotion are a sure thing. When we go to Dallas, we have to find jobs ( I can transfer), he has done a lot of online applications, resume and cover letter, but has not heard anything yet. So what he is saying is right, we have a sure thing here, but not in Dallas. Plus our age, he is 59, I am 57, not easy to find a new job. Who is going to hire an almost 60 year old man?
If we stay here, the raise he is getting ( the amount is not definite yet), but it is substantial, means, I might be able to stop working soon.
But how am I going to tell the kids? They are going to be devastated.
What would you guys do? We miss the kids very much.
I don't want you to make the decision for me, I just want to hear what you would do.

Debbie

luci
05-29-2013, 03:04 PM
I really do not no what I would do. I recently moved and my children now live in my back yard seeing the grandkids every day is such a blessing. My mother has moved in with me and has dementia and I have been looking for a job with different hours so I no how job hunting is to. I no this did not help but I wanted you to no i'm thinking of you and am sure you will make the right decision.

Sammy
05-29-2013, 07:03 PM
Hi Debbie,

It is certainly a difficult decision you are faced with. If it were me i would consider the possability of you being able to cut down in work or even leave work a huge gain for your health and wellbeing. Maybe with the extra money you may even be able to travel to be with your kids a bit more and stay with them longer without having to worry about your work commitments. Also as you mentioned the stress of finding a new job especially for your husband can impact greatly on you both.
I'm sure you are weighing up every option and i wish you all the best.

Sam xx

Nonna
05-30-2013, 05:25 AM
As you know I just retired. I'm 65 so I know what you are talking about. At this point, you are right about the difficulty of finding him a job in Dallas. My thought would be to go with the sure thing for the next 5 or 6 years then go to Dallas.

Good Luck in what ever the two of you decide

steve.b
05-30-2013, 06:51 AM
it is a hard decision that no one but you 2 can make. please listen to everyones advice, but you both need to be happy. 5 years more in ny is not a long time for a 60 year old, but for younger people ........ also if you do not work full time, you could have more holidays with the kids. but do you want to stay? hope you can work it out, most promotion offers do not last long. and I presume your husband is good at his job... to be offered the promotion. could you find as good a job in dallas.

debbie-b
05-30-2013, 12:30 PM
it is a hard decision that no one but you 2 can make. please listen to everyones advice, but you both need to be happy. 5 years more in ny is not a long time for a 60 year old, but for younger people ........ also if you do not work full time, you could have more holidays with the kids. but do you want to stay? hope you can work it out, most promotion offers do not last long. and I presume your husband is good at his job... to be offered the promotion. could you find as good a job in dallas.

Hi Steve,

It is a hard decision and I thought, I'll ask people, who do not think with their heart, like me.
If he could find a job, he would have to start at the bottom, for much less money.
I still work full time, but with the promotion, I could soon think about disability. You are right, my husband is great at his job, that is why the president of the company, himself, came to talk to him and making this awesome offer.
It is going to break the kids heart.
We have already decided, that we will go and visit twice a year, instead of just once a year.

Debbie

steve.b
05-30-2013, 11:00 PM
......We have already decided, ......... glad that you could both come to a decission, either way it was going to be hard for someone.

debbie-b
06-01-2013, 07:30 AM
I am on this emotional rollercoaster, one day, I think the best thing to do, is going with the sure thing and the next day, I just want to be near the family.
This morning, I am sitting here crying.
I am usually not this "unstable", I think the pred. has something to do with it.
A sign, whatever it may be, would be helpful, lol.
I have to work, 2pm-9pm in customer service, I better not get a difficult customer today, I AM NOT IN THE MOOD, I could get fired today. lol

Debbie

Jaynie
06-01-2013, 10:30 AM
Hi Debbie

I feel for u both having to make such a big decision.
When my son moved schools we asked him one question "Can you live like this for another five years?" If the answer is a plain and simple gut reaction 'no', then maybe you need to go with that. I know it's probably not that simple, but it drew a clear line for us to start at.
Hope you feel more 'decided' soon.

Xxxxx

tgal
06-01-2013, 02:15 PM
Oh Debbie! I am so sorry that you are in this situation! My head says that you need to stay there a few more years. If you could quit working you will feel so much better. I can feel what your heart is saying though. I have a daughter leaving for college in a few months and the idea breaks my heart even knowing it is the right thing.

love ya and hope things work out

debbie-b
06-04-2013, 05:48 AM
Well, a decision has been made. I have been asking for a sign and I got one.
My husbands boss ( president of the company), the one who approached my husband about the promotion, had told my hubby that he would meet with him on Saturday, but he never showed or even called. It shows me, that he is not somebody I would trust, or at least somebody who is not too serious about the whole thing.
I went this morning and told the leasing office, that we are not renewing our lease. Our lease ends August 1st.
Btw, today is Tuesday, we still have not heard from the president. ( And no, he is not dead), lol.
We are moving to Dallas the end of July. We are happy, that it turned out this way, we are going to be with the kids.
Thank you everybody for your thoughts. I knew, that I could count on my Lupus family, to help me out.

Debbie

steve.b
06-04-2013, 07:56 AM
I am glad you have a decision. I now hope you both can find suitable work. life with grandkids is great..... I am seeing all 4 of mine in about 10 hours.

Saysusie
06-04-2013, 08:04 AM
I, too, am glad that a decision has been made and especially glad that you are happy about the decision. Best of luck to you and I know it will be great to be closer to your grandchildren.
Let us know what has become of the "boss"..I am curious to hear what, if any, explanation he gives.

Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

Jaynie
06-05-2013, 05:03 AM
So pleased for the way things are going with you xxx

debbie-b
06-05-2013, 05:47 AM
I, too, am glad that a decision has been made and especially glad that you are happy about the decision. Best of luck to you and I know it will be great to be closer to your grandchildren.
Let us know what has become of the "boss"..I am curious to hear what, if any, explanation he gives.

Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

So am I, can't wait to hear from him.
My husband has officially put in his letter of resignation , before it was only verbal.

Debbie

debbie-b
06-19-2013, 06:20 AM
Well friends,

I hope that I don't sound like a complete idiot, but things have changed again.
Like I said before, I am looking for signs, and I have gotten plenty of those the last few days.
My husband got two rejection letters from his applications and four others haven't even responded. On hand his application, they can figure out his age and I think that plays a big role.
The apartment complex has turned us down, because you have to have a job in Dallas for at least six months. I have called other apartment complexes, they all require the same.
My rheumy called and told me, that I should reconsider the move, because I shouldn't be without health insurance for three months. The parathyroid tumor I have, should be removed soon.
I think we are getting cold feet, because everything screams DON'T GO.
Here is the final straw, the President of the company came and offered my husband a contract, with almost double his salary, a company car and expense account. Plus now I can think about disability, because working is getting harder every day.
We will visit Dallas three times a year. I still have to break the news to the kids, it is going to hard, but once they think with their head instead of the heart, they will agree with us.
I am very sad, but also happy for my husband. We will move, once we retire, that is not that far away.
So here we are, we are staying in Rochester NY.

Thank you guys.

Debbie

steve.b
06-19-2013, 08:04 AM
I hope that I don't sound like a complete idiot, but ................
Plus now I can think about disability, ..........
We will move, once we retire, that is not that far away.
So here we are, we are staying in Rochester NY.

Thank you guys.

Debbie

nice way to start..... you are not an idiot, it is a big thing to move state and start over. glad you can think about disability ...... the reduced work effort and stress will be VERY beneficial. I hope you are really content with your decision. you two are the only ones that need to be happy with the decision...... everyone else will adjust either way.

chikititalinda
06-19-2013, 08:29 AM
Hi Debbie I always believe things happen for a reason, so there you go hun, I wish you the best, I can only imagine how difficult it must be without your family but on the bright side they have a "vacation" spot and so do you : )