View Full Version : So we finally broke up...

03-15-2013, 05:35 AM
My partner and I finally broke up tonight. She doesn't feel the same towards me any more. It's been a long time coming but it still hurts an awful lot. I have no idea what I'm going to do, I'm in NZ...so far from my home in the UK. I can't cope on my own even though I only work part time. I can't afford to live and pay medical bills alone. I don't know what to do. She's offered just to move in to the spare room and still help me out with cooking, shopping etc...but I don't know if I could handle that - I still love her.
I was already at rock bottom when this happened, struggling a lot with depression. Feeling beyond low now. I want to curl up in a ball and pretend it isn't happening but I can't.

03-15-2013, 05:58 AM
Hugs. I know break ups are hard. I used to be married, and my husband and I had a lovely little house, and... I had to move out and live in a sketchy one-room studio. So emotional and practical troubles just piling up.

If you're able to find some sort of free/low cost counseling for this time, I'd advise it. I saw a counselor after my divorce, and I see one now to deal with chronic illness. It just sort of helps to have someone help me process the low points.

I wish I could say something to make it better, but I know there is nothing I can say. Only time heals. But hugs from afar, Shine.

03-15-2013, 07:20 AM

03-15-2013, 07:22 AM
Oh I am so very sorry! My heart hurts for you. There are many here that have been through what you are going through and they will most likely have better advice but I can tell you about the money part. It looks hopeless now. I know. I have been there. My daughter and I lived on $300 a month for almost 9 months after I lost my job. I knew we wouldn't make it. We did. You will also but the emotional and mental stress is hard and I am not taking that away from you.

please know we are here for you as you go through this. We are family

03-15-2013, 01:41 PM
Hugs, been there and understand. You will find a way to survive. We are survivors
Love from us, your family

03-15-2013, 03:30 PM
Hugs and prayers to you. "this too shall pass". You'll be stronger and wiser. We are here for you.

03-15-2013, 08:01 PM
Sorry that you're going through this. Break-ups are difficult, whether you were the one who initiated it, or not.

I hope things get worked out for you soon.

03-16-2013, 12:40 AM
i am so sorry that you had to go through that. breaks are hard especially when you know that you cant help being sick. Hugs from me to you :)

03-16-2013, 06:25 AM
I am so sorry you are going through this. My wish for you is strength and peace during this tough time. You are not alone. Hugs to you!

03-16-2013, 01:11 PM
(((Hugs))) and prayers for you Shine

03-17-2013, 10:39 PM
Thank you everyone.

I'm having waves of emptiness and loneliness, followed by anger, followed by positive feelings because I have planned to return to the UK and be with my family - I get to meet my 1 year old nephew for the first time.

My partner and I are still very much good friends - we were for 13 years before we got together so it would be a shame to throw that away. There will likely be difficulties down the line as either of us move on etc, but I hope we've got the strength to deal with it. We're actually planning a trip away together over Easter! It's silly but our relationship has seemed more like a friendship for a long time now, so it's not that much of an awkward transition, even though I love her very very much and am experiencing an awful lot of heartache.

I'm not coping very well at work, plus I'm having some bad side effects from a new med so waiting to change that - everythings a bit up in the air. Just waiting for the dust to settle.
Thank you everyone for your kind words xxx

03-18-2013, 01:56 PM
Like Nonna said, WE ARE SURVIVORS! It doesnt feel like it NOW because of how fresh it is BUT, time DOES make it easier.Unfortunately, we have to WAIT for it to TICK TICK TICK by. Thats why you turn to your friends and loved ones and stay as busy in what ever way you can to help ease the pain. SO SORRY for you and you are in my HEART. We are here for YOU!

03-20-2013, 11:07 AM
A million hugs for you my dear. I'm sorry that you relationship did not end well, but I think we all understand how much break ups hurt. I'm only 19 so I probably don't understand a whole lot that you're going through, but I'm here for you and so is the rest of the WHL family to help and support you in everything you're going through. I also actually went through a recent break up with a boy who was really giving me such a hard time and I think may have contributed in the reason I was diagnosed with Lupus. Things happen for a reason and sometimes they happen for the better even though they seem so painful at first. Anyways, my heart and my prayers go out to you. Be strong.
We're all here for you.


03-20-2013, 07:18 PM
Hello Shine,

I'm sorry to hear the bad news. Recently, I too have had to come to terms with a breakup. My girlfriend of three years, Karen, and I parted ways a few weeks ago. I have not felt the emotions that I thought I would feel. I know it's heartbreaking, that it's incredibly sad, yet I'm just numb. This time last year, had you told me in the coming days, months, and then in the new year, that I'd witness the death of my Dad, the death of my cat Sophie, and then the girl that I love with all my heart would leave, I never would have believed it.

I guess after the events of last year, I have no more room for or capacity to feel grief or sadness left in my mind. It's all used up. I just can't feel any more of it.

However, I'm hanging in there, and I hope you keep on hanging in there too.


03-21-2013, 10:08 AM
Thinking of you Rob and UNDERSTANDING you. You're "hanging in there" BETTER than you realize dear friend. Unfortunately any kind of Losses are PAINS in us that will NEVER go away. HUGS to you all

03-23-2013, 08:28 PM
Thank you all so much.

Rob I can't believe how much you've been through, you must be emotionally exhausted. Yet still you're here to offer us kind words and support when we need it - a true gem.

I'm plodding on ok. It's the most amicable break up I've had anyway. It helps that there isn't any shouting or ignoring each other etc...it's just the two of us trying to work our way through the transititon from lovers to friends. I feel lonely and sad - even though she called it off I know she feels lonely and sad too. It hurts to know it's hard for her - silly eh? We'll get there.
Like you Rob I feel a bit numb. I'm spending a lot of time pretending I'm ok and getting on with, I've had plenty of practice doing that with being ill for so long anyway!

I think when I get back to England it will hit me harder.

Thanks again everyone.