View Full Version : What a wild ride

12-05-2012, 08:00 PM
Hello All!

Just wanted to introduce myself to the boards. Where do I begin? My wife rnwithlupus was diagnosed with sle, fibrous, and ra last year. We have been together for almost 20 years. Throughout that time she always had seemed to have issues that landed her to the doctor's office. Then it seemed to sort of fade away for awhile. Last Feb she was in a car accident, she flipped our jeep 3 times. She walked away from it, with a few cuts and bruises, but just never seemed to really get better. A few months after the accident she was diagnosed. She was prescribed neurotin, and is now on cymbalta. From the time she was diagnosed, up until just a few weeks ago she wasn't really getting the best care. Her rhume, only worked 1 day a week, and seemed to rush her out of the office. We are now going to new doctor who seems to be really good. We've got an appointment with her tomorrow to go over some test results. I look forward to meeting you folks, and learning all I can to support my bride.

12-05-2012, 08:05 PM
hi, and welcome.
it is always good to see spouse here.
often our partner does not understand.

thank you for taking the time to join our forum.

12-05-2012, 08:16 PM
Thanks Steve! It's good to be here. My wife and I just found this site tonight. We've had a rough way to go over the last year. My wife just got a new rhume, who seems to be a whole lot better then the first, and we are learning that we ready need to educate ourselves on her illnesses.

12-05-2012, 08:52 PM
Welcome! It's great that you are so concerned and involved in helping your wife. That makes SUCH a huge difference! I can emphatically say that the single most important factor in my ability to cope is the support of my awesome husband. I could not do it alone!

But there are parts of this that he can't share, as much as he wants to. It's hard for him to see me suffer, and it's scary for him. It's really, REALLY scary for me. We both try to be strong - sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it feels like the diagnosis and this stupid disease are a huge lump that takes up way too much of our time, energy, and concentration....we work at chipping away at it so it's not such a big deal all the time. When it needs attention, we give it some - when things are good, we try to ignore/forget the Lupus and just live a normal life.

It's a long road, learning to live with something like this - lots of ups and downs. But doing that together really helps!

12-05-2012, 09:39 PM
Welcome to the board! I have been with my husband for almost 20 years as well. I have been sick for about a year and feel so incredibly lucky to have a supportive spouse. Stress can make our illnesses so much worse. Your wife is so lucky to have your support.

12-06-2012, 09:15 AM
Hi and welcome to WHL! So glad that you decided to join!

Sadly your wife's story is all too common. I am glad she has a good doctor now. Hopefully she will get the help she needs and get on the road to feeling better. She is lucky to have you by her side!

12-06-2012, 10:25 AM
Hello and Welcome;
I am so glad to see both you and your wife here. It is wonderful that you are here to support her and to learn as much as you can about this disease in order to help her to manage it. It is not uncommon for this disease to activate due to immense stress (such as a bad car accident, even if that accident did not cause physical damage). In fact, studies have shown that stress precipitated the onset of the disease in almost 40% of Lupus cases! Stress, itself, is one of the biggest dangers that we face when living with and attempting to manage this disease. It is very important that we find ways to reduce our stress as it will cause the disease to worsen and can even cause new symptoms to appear.
Your wife is very lucky to have a good rheumatologist and even more lucky to have a loved-one who is on her side, understanding, and willing to learn about this disease so that he can help his wife to find her "new normal" and maintain a reasonably happy life. Please know that everyone here at WHL is here to help as much as we can. I am glad that you are here.

Peace and Blessings