View Full Version : Depression/job issues....HELP?!?!

08-26-2012, 02:47 PM
So, I was curious if depression, or a feeling of blah, tired etc can be a flare by itself? The last few days have been getting better for me, my neuropathy has calmed A LOT, my joint pain is minimal and usually only really gets bad when I first wake up (swelling then too), or after I've been driving for a while or laying on the couch, but after I'm up and moving, it clams down. However, I can't seem to kick the fog brain, the tiredness and the depression:( the other physical issues aren't gone (just better-for the moment) but the mental stuffs hangin around! So I have a hard time (stil) getting up and doing things, due to complete lack of mental strength. I am on anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Could this be a flare alone, or the lingering effects of the flare I just had? Or just nothing at all? Anyone ever go through this, like when your body actually wants to do things but your mind either/or can think right, doesnt want too? Its very frustrating! And hubby is not at all understanding, so I've sent most of the day crying:(

To top this off, I do childcare in my home and I'm supposed to be having a potential new child and mom come visit this week, so of course I want to make sure the house is in tip top shape. Hubby isn't to keen on doing it alone, and I feel bad not being able to "will" myself to help (I sit and think, why can't I get a grip? The pains not that bad, what's wrong w/me) And feel guilty about it, which turns into more sadness. The other thing I'm trying to decide if I even CAN take another child at the moment. My daughter is 2.5 and she's the youngest, thins is a 15mo old baby....money's so tight, I don't want to say no, however, until my docs get things straight, I'm thinking maybe I should wait. I tried getting hubby's input on this, to no avail. As it is, I have to tell this new person I need a day off already to meet my new rheumy and neuro, in 3wks! I've also been fighting a cold for weeks on end! The kids I have Howard mostly friends kids, and they are very understanding to my situation (as in, if darlas sick, it's a free play inside/movie day) and no one is bothered by it. I don't know this new woman, so what will she think about those days, and the days I'll either need off, take her child w/me or have my backup (my mom) watch the kids? This is stressing me out more and not helping with the down feeling I've got goin on!

I just wish ssi would hurry, then I can choose who I want to watch and when! I can go to all the doc pats I need too! I've put so many off due to my line of work, I would prob be dx'd and on meds feeling better by now! Denied twice, one alone and once w/a lawyer (all because I wasn't dx'd) uugghh!

Anyway, sorry to babble, thanks for "listenng" though:) as always, thoughts, ideas and advice are appreciated!

08-26-2012, 04:40 PM
"babble" all you want to Deemarie1223. That's what this place is for. The "fog" has been on me for over 5 weeks now, since I had to quit my meds due to a reaction of some sort. My docs think that I may have reacted to my 2nd use of clonazepam, which I used to help with anxiety associated with breathing difficulties with asthma. Prior to the reaction, I was regularly doing sertaline. As steve.b says, I wasn't "classically" depressed (is that a person who liked Mozart, but those days are long gone??), but the med def helped with the sleep cycle, and allowed me to actually get some "quality" sleep, which helped immensely. Perhaps you need an adjustment with your meds? However, for me anyway, when I do a flare, the "fog" sets in, along with its associated "exhaustion", then the pain, inflamation and other symptoms come on. They will leave in reverse order usually, with the fog being the last to leave...

Another help would be if your hubby can understand the situation better, and how you'll "cycle" from good days to bad and back again. Have you been around to the other sections of the WHL forums, and read through the "stickies" posts at the top? There's a "Spoon Theory (http://forum.wehavelupus.com/showthread.php?12099-The-spoon-theory&highlight=spoon+theory)" thread, and other "You don't look sick..." type threads that may help, if you can get him to read them... Here's to hoping and praying for you.

08-26-2012, 06:57 PM
I have, jmail and I read the spoon theory to him, it has helped, a lot....before he was adamant that "it was in my head" no matter what the tests and my body said (I'm not dx'd yet...well I am, but with like 20 things, hoping soon to tie it together!) now he asks me every morning how many spoons I'm working with lol. He sent me a wonderful text that I took a pic of (I can't for the life of me, figure out how to post pics on my profile or for my avatar on this site from an iPad) but it said "I love you, and I'll do everything i can to help you get more spoons"....it made my day, BUT, he's still ridin' the fence a lil more then I'd like him to be:/ I decided not to take on the 15mo old child until I get dx'd and on the right meds....I think that's best, as the kids I have are already stressful enough somedays!

08-26-2012, 11:57 PM
i have learnt a lot from reading the older threads here.
when i mix this information with what i learn from other sources....
i get a fuller picture of my lupus.

one thing that keeps on comming up is depression.
many specialists now aknowledge that constant pain does lead to a decreased brain function......

so brain fog and depression are the side effect of constant pain.

this depression is not always the type where you want to go and commit suicide.
(but prolonged depression does lead towards this)
it means that the brain reduced the emotional response,
so all emotion is reduced good and bad....
therefore the feeling of "i cant be bothered", if it is the normal feeling now, can actually be depression.