View Full Version : Hello All
08-03-2012, 01:16 PM
I was diagnosed with SLE September 2011 and I also have FMS. I am a mother of a 5 and 7 year old and just got married a month ago. My problem is that I am also in the Army, and used to be a very active person. I feel like I'm mourning the loss of the person I used to be. I'm an extremely independ
ent person, have been since childhood, so not only do i not kniw how to ask for help, I don't know how to except it. I'm tired of being tired, I had no idea when I purchased two layzboys for my livingroom that I would spend so much time in it. I used to be such a self assured, I can do anything I set my mind to kind of person, but now that's replaced with uncertainty as I can barely get my thoughts out at times. This is tiring....
08-04-2012, 08:52 AM
First let me say welcome to our family here! You will find this site very comforting, helpful and supportive!
You are very normal going through the feelings you are. In a way you do go through the morning period because you have lost someone......your old self. It is hard to accept limitations when you are used to having none. Especially you being in the military, new bride and mother to young little ones. You have a lot so adjustment and change in a very short bit of time. I started getting sick at 21. I was told by the doctors that it was not about the quantity of life you live but the quality of life I lived. It is very beautiful if you think about it but to me that was giving in and refused to stop fighting. I went through the stages of greif when it came to my disease. I know people don't like to admit it but for me I went to a therapist who helped me understand this process and reassured me this was normal. She really helped me figure out these new limitations and what they would mean in my life. It was not pretty and I will tell you it was hard but I ended up on the other end a happier more accepting individuals..
I remember someone asked me how we do it. I told them you may not decide what whole you fall in but you can decide how you come out on the other side. I told them I may come out a little more scratched but I will not come out damaged.
You will get through this. Rely on your loved ones and lean on all of us here. We will help you figure out problems and we will be there when you cry and laugh. You have found the best support system because everyone here knows what you are going through. So, hold that chin up as much as you can and feel everything you need to feel and I promise you that you will not emerge out of the other end damaged.
08-04-2012, 10:52 AM
Hi Miraid, welcome to WHL. Being military, newly married, two youngsters, fms OR lupus, any one of those would be enough stress to drag me down for certain. We understand where you're coming from there!
How long have you been Army? How 'bout your spouse? The "reaching out" part of asking for help can be a tough row to hoe, but once you get the ball rolling, you'll wonder why you waited. The military has a lot of resources for your use. Use 'em; you 'paid' for them with enlistment and service. Rely on your "team" for some support. We'll be praying for you.
The "new" (it's over a year old now) "easy chair" in our family room is my 'favorite'. I say that facetiously, since I'd much rather be doing something, rather than sitting in that thing, or sleeping in it... lol - I've been known to drool while dozing... |;^)
08-04-2012, 04:43 PM
Thank you for your service !!!
My daughter is an Army MP leaving for afghanastan next week.
I think we all can identify with your feelings-lupus can be a big game changer-many life style changes as well as career changes for some.
Dont be afraid to ask for help its hard at first(it was for me) but you may be surprised at how family and friends will pitch in to help.
Take Care Niall
Welcome to our group! I served in the Army during the First Gulf War.
We have many members here who are veterans, as well as many family
members and friends of people who are currently serving, so you've
come to the right place.
Please make yourself at home,
08-05-2012, 08:39 AM
i too am an ex military member.
i am from australia, and spent just over 12 years in the airforce.
as rob said, there is other serving members who are members here.
you are definelatly not alone.
08-05-2012, 10:53 AM
Thank you for your welcome and words of encouragement. I too, am 29. I never thought this would be me. But i guess i should replace that with " why not me?" Ive had a lot of adversity in life which made me have to cope, but ive always had my physical and mental strength to rely on. Theyve alyways kinda went together for me. Ive never thought about therapy for myself (funny because psych was my major in school before i tooka break last year). Perhaps i should
08-06-2012, 04:38 PM
Welcome to WHL from an Air Force wife, a Marine Mom and an AF mother-in-law.
As others have told you - you have resources available to you through the military - be sure to use them.
We're all here to give you support or to listen when you need to vent.