View Full Version : hi everyone (also posted on med forum)
05-17-2006, 04:50 AM
Hi Im Jacque I am a mother of three and a wife...... I have been sick for four years the last two being the worst... I am a stylist, which lately has been a hard job to do.... Im happy to have found this forum and I hope it can allow me to not feel so alone with all of this....I have already posted to the meds forum hee is that post so you can understand a small amount about what has been going on with me this is just a brief overview....just so you can get to know a little about me...........Thank you all for posting to me.. the meds(plaguenil,and amatryptlin are new to me I just started being treated, yet still no diagnosis... Im finding this a long hard road to go down, sometimes I really feel alone and that people dont understand what I go through on a daily basis.... sometimes I get angry, sometimes im hurt, sometimes I just want to scream because I know there is something wrong with my body....yet they cant seem to find what it is..... I have had a positive ANA its on the lower side but still positive..... personally I could care less at this point about whats positive and whats negative IM SICK and thats what matters to me..... If every tests comes back negative it doesnt change the way that I feel..... and NO im not crazy Im just sick of being sick....... I love being asked if Im depressed I tell the doctor would you be depressed if you didnt have the energy anymore to play with your kids, or if going up trhe steps in your house seemed like a huge accomplishment, or if you felt like you got hit by a truck and not just any truck a semi truck every morning when you wake up .......... yet no one can tell you whats wrong with you.... you run fevers for no reason, you have lymph nodes that feel like huge grapes in your neck everyday that make your whole neck ache........but still no answers.... I dont know would you be a little down in the dumps LOL....... Funny though I dont feel sad at all just angry.... I am actually at the best point I have ever been in my life other than being sick.... I have a wonderful husband three beautiful children... and IM HAPPY IN LIFE!!!!! Im 28 and I feel like I want to be doing more Im young I should be full of energy and life .......yet Im tired and sick alot, thats the part that makes me angry..... I dont know Im sure my story sounds like alot of other peoples on the board......... Its not an easy road is it? Yet I keep going DAY BY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
05-17-2006, 02:54 PM
Anger is one of the most prominent symptoms of depression..and depression is a common symptom of Lupus (for all of the reasons that you gave to your doctor). You have every right to be depressed and every right to be angry and NO you are not crazy and NO it is not all in your head!!
I say, bravo for telling your doctor what he needed to hear!!! Now, maybe he will get serious and treat your symptoms (including your depression) so that you can not only be happy, but try to live a relatively normal life. It can be done and we are here to help you in any way that we can.
Peace and Blessings
05-20-2006, 07:15 PM
You are definitely not alone!!! I know exactly how you feel. I am 34 years old and was finally diagnosed in February after fighting with this for about 6 years. I also know the anger and depression you feel because you are sick. I battle with both each day. I keep hoping the plaquenil will start working soon so that my days are not like a roller coaster. I was told it could take 6 months to a year for me to feel the total effects of the medicine. The best advice I can give it to be persistent with your doctor. You are the only one that knows how you feel. I learned that if you complain enough, they eventually have to listen. Saysusie is right, it is not in your head and you are not crazy. These symptoms are real.....
All I know is that this web site is the best thing I have found since I became sick. Hang in there!! We are all here for you!!!!!!!!
I just wanted to say I am also glad I found this site. I am not diagnosed yet....but they are working on it. Looking back, I think I have had symptoms for a long time. However, I neglected some of them. I really never thought much of some of them...but looking through the symptoms of lupus, I realized I had several of the symptoms. I just want to feel better....thats all I want. For the first time ever, I have missed 10 days of work because I am sick. Do you know what it is like to call your boss and say you are sick but the dr. doesn't know what is wrong with you?! I felt like an idiot. Anyway, I am not trying to threadjack...I hope you feel better soon!
05-22-2006, 08:08 AM
Unfortunately, I know exactly what it is like to call your boss and say that you are sick but your doctor does not know why yet. And then, to tell your boss that you doctorts have diagnosed you with Lupus and for them to say "But you don't look sick!" and worst of all, for them NOT to believe you when you try to explain how sick you are, how tired you are and why you just can't come in today..then you have to go into the boss' office to be reprimanded for extensive use of sick leave and be told again that "You never look sick when you are here, so what are we supposed to think?" Then, for me, it was downhill from there!!
We are glad that you are here so that you will never hear those words from us, never be told that you are pretending to be sicker than you are or that it is all in your head. We are here to provide information, give you support and understanding and to help you to navigate this disease as best you can!!
Peace and Blessings