View Full Version : How to help my girlfriend

Jp Dunn
05-06-2012, 08:25 PM
Good evening everyone,
As my first post, i would first like to say " I do not have lupus", but I am solely here to find all information about Lupus because of my girlfriend. I need to know as much as possible, medicines, remedies, basically anything and everything for pain treatment. I make sure she gets a lot of rest, - exercise hasn't been easy because of fatigue... (does that take time to build stamina?) I give her massages as much as possible (sometimes they help, with lavender oil, other times not so much).... does aspirin work better than motrin? - ANY advice would be much MUCH appreciated! Thanks!

05-06-2012, 08:46 PM
Hi JP,
Welcome to WHL. We love it when a sweet, supportive significant other comes here in behalf of their loved one! You sound like a great boyfriend.
I would suggest that you start by reading the stickys at the top of each forum. There is a lot of good information there. Also, read through threads that seem helpful, and feel free to comment or ask questions. Also, encourage your girlfriend to join you in this - we'll be glad to welcome her, too.
Is she seeing a rheumatologist? That is the doc to see for autoimmune issues. She can work with her doc to find the right mix of prescription drugs to help her. Many of us have to go easy on the OTC painkillers (NSAIDS) because they can cause stomach and liver issues. She needs to talk to her doc about this.
BTW - Bravo for the massages. I get a professional massage twice a month, and it does help a lot (at least for a while). I wish that my hubby was more willing to give them in between the professional ones, though.
Good luck on your journey with your girlfriend, and I commend you for making the journey with her!

05-07-2012, 02:29 AM
hi jp.
thank you for caring enough to find us.
all too often we find partners cannot relate to our sufferings.

as marla has suggested. a rhuematologist is a good place to start.
you could make an appointment for yourself. they can offer good information if forwarned.
also there are places dedicated to lupus.
we have lots of information.
also places like, lupus foundation of america.www.lupus.org (http://www.lupus.org)

thank you again for caring enough

05-07-2012, 08:30 AM
First of all I would like to say, you are such a wonderful boyfriend. Taking the time to learn and do all this for your girlfriend is just amazing. I wish more people were like you. Sounds like you really love her. Being here is the first step to finding lots of great information and taking to wonderful people. Not all people here have lupus, but they know someone who does. keep up the great work.

let us know if there is anything we can help you with.

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05-07-2012, 08:53 AM
Hi JP;
As everyone else has said, it is so nice to meet a significant other who wants to understand and who wants to help. You have been given some good advice regarding reading the stickies and asking about a rheumatologist. One of the best defenses in this disease is to arm ourselves with as much information as we can. Knowing about the disease, its treatments, its symptoms, and medications can often help to alleviate some of our fears and frustrations. Also, please know that the disease affects each of us differently, so it might be helpful for you and/or your girlfriend to keep a log of her symptoms (when and under what circumstances she feels better; when and under what circumstances does she feel worse) so that when she sees her doctor (hopefully a rheumatologist), she can discuss these with him so that they can work together to get a treatment regimen that works for her.
In the meantime, I want to commend you for being there for her and for wanting to know how to help her. You will find that everyone here is more than willing to help you as much as we can. Thank You For Joining Us and WELCOME!

Peace and Blessings

05-07-2012, 05:58 PM
Having had a significant other who didn't get it, like others I truly applaud your interest. Best tips I can offer, sometimes she will just need a hug, sometimes she will just need a friend, sometimes she will just need your love and sometimes she will just need a little time to cry. Best wishes, Tammy

05-09-2012, 01:43 PM

Your girlfriend is so lucky to have you. You seeking out this forum and posting in itself is the best treatment. My advice from personal experience is to be supportive and optimistic towards your girlfriend, but to also know when to just be empathetic. My boyfriend is very pushy that I should just be positive and Lupus won't affect me, but that's not the case. I do have Lupus and it will affect me. The most important thing after being diagnosed is acceptance. After acceptance you can start to become optimistic and empowered, but if you rush that then you will have a more difficult time reaching it.

So, just do what you're doing and try and go to doctor's appointments with her if possible. I can't even tell you how nice it is to see such genuine support.