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ritzbit2
04-28-2012, 03:50 PM
Has anyone had to drop out of school, even just temporarily, because it just got to be too much on top of everything else? I feel like I need to right now to get myself where I want to be, but I feel like my family will be so disappointed. I don't want to hear about how I'm doing nothing with my life while I'm not in school. But all I want to do right now is nothing. I want to enjoy my summer, start to feel better, de-stress, and read a freaking book! That last part probably sounds dumb but I love reading and have had so much going on this past year I have not read a single book that I have gotten. I just want to feel like me again. Right now I'm a really crabby, stressed to the max, b!tch version of me. I want to take the time off to get myself physically and mentally where I need to be to do all the things I have planned.

I'm afraid my family is going to make me feel bad for not working and not going to school. My boyfriends solution to this is for me to apply for disability and move in with him because he won't expect too much from me and won't make me feel bad about it (though he doesn't want me to stop going to school either). I don't know if thats what I should do though. I feel like doing all this will be like taking the lazy way out, but right now I just want to be "lazy". I want to rest. I NEED to rest.

Mica
04-28-2012, 04:09 PM
I dropped out of college but am still unable to go back. Have you considered not being a full time student, like only take 1 or 2 classes instead. And get on that disability now if your considering it because it takes forever, but im going to tell you now your going to need to get a lawyer because disability will keep denying you because of your age. And I highly doubt your family is going to be disappointed in you for needing to take a break, you are sick and sometimes your health needs to come first.

debbie-b
04-28-2012, 04:14 PM
Hi Ritz,

I don't have any advice for you, but I wanted to tell you, that I totally understand.
Your school is as hard to do, as my job is and I know that I am at the breaking point. I just want to stay home, rest and nurse my painful joints and muscles. I know that I would feel better at home, because I do, when I am on vacation.
Speaking of vacation, don't you have the summer break coming up?
I hope you can make a decision, that works for you.

Debbie

ritzbit2
04-28-2012, 04:41 PM
As of right now I am signed up for summer classes, because if I don't take them I can't take any classes this coming fall. So if I try to take a break this summer it will turn into being a year off. I really don't know what to do. I have been thinking about all of this for months and now its decision time. I have to decide this week if I want to take the summer classes because tuition is due next week. I still am not sure what to do though.

Codi98
04-28-2012, 07:23 PM
I was in school full time as well as working full time when first started having problems im only 21 . I had to make a choice weather to move back home and keep tryin to do school or put school on hold and keep workin full time it was the hardest choice i have ever had to make i chose to put school on hold which was the best choice because i quickly got worse and had to only work part time anyways. I know its hard because you have such big goals for your self and hold your self high standards and then your worried about not only dissappointing family but your self. But i also know its important to take the time and focus on you and your health. I hope you figure out a way to make it work. Everything happens for a reason! Just know your not alone on this choice your having to make.

steve.b
04-28-2012, 08:57 PM
i found for me.... stress is my biggest enemy.

when i needed to stop work, because i was so sick, the stress made it even worse.
making a decision will reduce your stress, deciding either way.

no choice is easy, but only you know what is best.
can you handle summer classes, then full time study?
listen to your body !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wish you peace of mind in whatever you choose.
if it was me, id take the less stressful road.
but it is not me.... you do what is good for you.
the family will just have to deal with it.

ritzbit2
04-29-2012, 04:52 PM
I hate to sound like I'm tooting my own horn, but I'm the family brags on. Even today we had friends over and my mom was talking about how bad my brothers are doing right now and how they might have to go to summer school and then says well its not as bad for them but this one here is the smart one and looks at me. I feel like they are going to give me hell and if I do decide to live with my boyfriend that will be another fight. I just know that between the two of us there won't be as much to clean or keep track of and if I'm at home they will expect me to do more in the way of household things.

magistramarla
04-30-2012, 01:53 PM
Ritz,
What kind of program are in that requires you to go to school continuously? Can you switch to a program that allows you to take the summer break?
Don't stop going to school - just figure out a way to slow down and do it at your own pace.
I'm an enlightened Mom, so I think that if you really feel that living with your boyfriend will be less stressful for you and you are confident that he will take good care of you - go for it! Perhaps the boost in self-esteem that living on your own terms will do a lot for how you feel.
Hugs,
Marla

ritzbit2
04-30-2012, 03:25 PM
It doesn't require it really, I just already took all my gen eds so I basically have to take one class after the other from now on because they are all prerequisites for all the other classes I need to take. And the classes I have to take before I can take any others are only offered during the spring and summer, which everyone has been complaining of. They are like the basic classes needed for all the other ones so they should be offered in the fall too. I know a girl in a wheelchair who cant take classes this summer because she won't have someone to take her everyday, and she can't live on campus, so she can't graduate until next spring because of this. Its really frustrating. I love my boyfriend and he really does treat me well. I stay with him on the weekends now, as a way of kind of easing my mom into the idea of me living with him. The problem is finding a new, nicer apartment that we will actually be able to afford.

My body has been so up and down lately I don't know if I will be fine all summer or if I'll keep flaring off and on. And I don't even know whats "flaring" because my rheum keeps saying its not my lupus, she just keeps saying "talk to a therapist". My urologist found nothing wrong with my GI system or bladder so I have had no luck with those problems either. Trying to put the pieces together. Physically I was terrible this morning but it has gotten a little better through the day, or at least I convinced myself it has lol I got up feeling like crap and found my mom upstairs miserable so I've been trying to do the things she usually does, went to work, and have been studying for my finals that are this week. When this week is over, I'm sleeping for a year.lol

Tammy1962
04-30-2012, 03:47 PM
Before I was diagnosed, I attempted to work full time and attend college classes. 30 years later, I am still working on my degree. I found Upper Iowa University who offers a self-paced external degree (independent study) that works well with my limitations. I have worked with them off and on for over 20 years. Nowadays there are many online programs also, but those are more structured (which can be a good and bad thing).

If you are diagnosed as totally disabled, many states offer Vocational rehabilitation programs through their (state) department of education. Their financial help varies and there may be a waiting period.

ritzbit2
04-30-2012, 08:01 PM
My family is sitting in the other room talking about kicking me out like I can't hear them. Finals week, I'm already stressed to the max, and they want to be like this because I complained about doing the dishes this morning because I wasn't feeling good and said I would do it after a shower, which I did. So apparently this makes me ungrateful and lazy and all other sorts of things. So to avoid any more of this while I'm trying to study I'm packing up ship and going to my boyfriends house. I'm so upset right now. My step dad really knows how to be an ass when it really counts.

Its like he can come home and belittle everyone including my mom because he had a bad day. But if I wake up sore and complain about doing the dishes and tell my mom I will do them once I get a shower, and then actually do them, I am lazy and have an attitude. However I didn't realize my mom was sick this morning or I would have kept my complaints to myself. After realizing that I did more than I usually do and even called on my way home from work and offered to go to the store for her. But I'm inconsiderate. And lazy because while writing 12 summaries I couldn't "take 5 min to clean the table". I told them they would still be there when I got done with them and these had a deadline tonight and the dishes didn't. But apparently the damn dishes are more important than my grades. I guess if they were, you know, he could have done them. But what do I know.

magistramarla
04-30-2012, 09:13 PM
Hey Ritz,
Yes, it sounds like time to go establish your own life. Being a college student is a full-time job. That is why dorms have meal plans and students who live on-campus are expected to spend LOTS of time studying, away from family responsibilities.
Good luck, sweetie.
Hugs,
Marla

ritzbit2
04-30-2012, 09:20 PM
I'm really at my breaking point. I really think taking this year off might be the best choice. I just can't deal with things right now. I need a vacation from everything while its still reasonable.

ritzbit2
05-07-2012, 05:17 PM
We all came to a compromise with my school this summer. I am taking 1 class instead of 2. I am rearranging my education plan a little bit because of this, but my advisor is helping me and thinks this was probably a good idea. I'm currently trying to get my grandparents to loan me the money, because tuition will take up all my savings and I can't really work. If that doesn't happen (and maybe even if it does happen) I am looking into getting SSI money. Does anyone know if you can do that for a set amount of time? I mean eventually I will be working somehow considering I want to be a doctor, and I hope I'm well enough to do that. But right now I really can't find many things that I am able to do. Tutoring will end with the school year, and the family I work for is moving states this summer. I don't know what else I could do that would actually bring in the kind of money I need to live off of.

And the results are in......my GPA is not ruined by this semester and I will still basically be starting my junior year in the fall :) I guess for now I can accept a 3.6 for my GPA. Maybe if I do well over the summer it will bump it up a little.

Mica
05-08-2012, 10:02 AM
We all came to a compromise with my school this summer. I am taking 1 class instead of 2. I am rearranging my education plan a little bit because of this, but my advisor is helping me and thinks this was probably a good idea. I'm currently trying to get my grandparents to loan me the money, because tuition will take up all my savings and I can't really work. If that doesn't happen (and maybe even if it does happen) I am looking into getting SSI money. Does anyone know if you can do that for a set amount of time? I mean eventually I will be working somehow considering I want to be a doctor, and I hope I'm well enough to do that. But right now I really can't find many things that I am able to do. Tutoring will end with the school year, and the family I work for is moving states this summer. I don't know what else I could do that would actually bring in the kind of money I need to live off of.

And the results are in......my GPA is not ruined by this semester and I will still basically be starting my junior year in the fall :) I guess for now I can accept a 3.6 for my GPA. Maybe if I do well over the summer it will bump it up a little.

SSI is going to take at least a year because your so young. Hurry up and start the paper work because it's a lot but call a lawyer!!!! You are going to need a lawyer, usually they only get money after you start getting your disability so try and find one that will do that. Good luck

magistramarla
05-08-2012, 01:27 PM
Hey Ritz,
I'm proud of your grades, kid! I graduated with a 3.85, and that was Magna Cum Laude and got me into Phi Beta Kappa.
You are doing great to have a 3.6. I think that you are like my hubby and daughter - both of them fret and think that they are doing terribly, and then turn out to have wonderful grades. Relax a little!
I'm glad that you only have one class this summer. Do well in it, and enjoy life for a bit.
Hugs,
Marla

ritzbit2
05-08-2012, 03:36 PM
I have a hard time relaxing lol the idea of anything less than an A being as good as failing was pounded into my head a long time ago lol I freak when I don't get A's. I realized today that I have free time until July and was like what am I supposed to do now? lol

steve.b
05-08-2012, 06:31 PM
..... I realized today that I have free time until July and was like what am I supposed to do now? lol

do 2 of the things that excited you last year.

jump in YOUR car.
and buy YOURSELF an icecream.
just because...


enjoy your freedom !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ritzbit2
05-08-2012, 06:59 PM
I'm going to go get an ice cream tomorrow and then go to the hospital where my cousin and his wife are having their first baby! I am SO EXCITED! This is the first baby we have had in our family since my little sister, who is not so little lol she's 12! I can't wait! They didn't find out what they were having so its going to be a big surprise :) I can't wait to hear from my grandma tomorrow!!!!