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Hunniebun
04-05-2012, 02:43 PM
As with pretty much all of us on this site, because of my illnesses I very rarely feel well. I find it hard to do my daily tasks and even harder to force myself to go out. As much as I love doing the dog walking I do, its becoming a struggle to even get out of bed in the morning now.

Yesterday I was invited by my boyfriend to his moms birthday party which is tonight, and is also pretty short notice.
I DO want to go, but I have been feeling pretty bad lately, and over the past 2 days I have noticed that I am having some rectal bleeding (sorry for tmi), and lots of diarrhea, abdominal pain, along with the regular extreme fatigue and regular feeling crappy. I am going to the doctor on the 11th, the earliest I could get because of the long weekend, and it is not bad enough to go to the hospital.

So I have decided I'm not going to go, I'd rather stay home and relax and try to figure out what the heck is going on with me this time.
My illnesses depress me to no end, especially when I need to decline offers from people which I know would be fun if I went, yet I also know I'd pay for it the next day, and also don't want to embarrass myself in case I start feeling worse while I am out in the presence of others.

This makes me feel like a bad person when I have to do this, even though at the same time that I know it is not my fault, and I am not being lazy.
Do you guys ever have to cancel and feel bad about it?
I have gone to outtings with my BF and his friends/family before, but this time I just don't feel up to it.

Mica
04-05-2012, 03:16 PM
I do that all the time, I actually haven't seen any of my friends in like a year because ive been sick. Don't feel too bad because it sounds pretty bad with whats going on with you, your health comes first. I really do hope you get better I know how depressing it is to be sick all the time and can't go anywhere.

Nonna
04-05-2012, 05:18 PM
I had a trip scheduled this week. But I've had a bad UTI that has been causing me a lot of pIn in my right kidney area. I went because I didn't want to be home sick and alone. So I went to my moms a nd was sick there. Luckily at 95 & 88 they do a lot of just sitting around tv reading and talking sporadically.

Lupus is not fun; we lose friends be ause of it; but find new one here on WHL. i may not be as active as I was physically but now I am cyber active.

We each do what I'd best forourselves.


Hugs
Toni

steve.b
04-05-2012, 08:50 PM
i hope your doctors visit goes well.

it sounds as if you are not very well.

explain the basics to your boyfriend.
he can tell his mom.

my family expect me to pull out of things at the last minute.
my wife and i are both on the disability pension, so both of us regularly excuse ourselves.

true friends understand.

chikititalinda
04-06-2012, 06:47 AM
Hi hunniebun, I know exactly how you feel. I use to be the life of the party, I was out every fri and saturday night dancing the weekend away. My life has changed so drastically. I see things in another light, I value my relationship and family so much more. Ive had to learn to say no to invites, its diffcult to try and not feel guilty because deep down you want to go but you know you can't. If you do wind up loosing friends and even family over this, they really weren't friends to begin with. You have to do whats best for you, and as tough as this sounds don't worry about what other people think or say. You're the one dealing with the pain and agony lupus causes. besides I bet they will be other times for get togethers that you can certainly go and enjoyl

rob
04-06-2012, 08:19 AM
Hi hunniebun, I know exactly how you feel. I use to be the life of the party, I was out every fri and saturday night dancing the weekend away. My life has changed so drastically. I see things in another light, I value my relationship and family so much more. Ive had to learn to say no to invites, its diffcult to try and not feel guilty because deep down you want to go but you know you can't. If you do wind up loosing friends and even family over this, they really weren't friends to begin with. You have to do whats best for you, and as tough as this sounds don't worry about what other people think or say. You're the one dealing with the pain and agony lupus causes. besides I bet they will be other times for get togethers that you can certainly go and enjoyl

I was going to reply to this thread, but you've already said it all Chikititalinda, and said it perfectly.

DrinkofWtr
04-06-2012, 10:17 AM
I used to never stay home and went everywhere. Now it is a chore to just go to the grocery store. I have had to cancel invites last minute for so long that my friends gave up on me. They never could understand I was really sick because "You look so good." I too have come to value my relationship, and my daughter (because she is really all I have left of family). Dad is gone (rest in peace) and my Mom has advanced dementia. It's like I don't even know her anymore. She is not the same person, she was before this debilitating illness. So I understand where you are coming from.

kim,l
04-06-2012, 06:20 PM
we all know how you feel i have to always pull out of things because i am not well sometimes it makes my relatives not so happy but that is just the way life is for us now and people will just have to understand. hugs kim.