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kim,l
02-21-2012, 10:42 PM
hi everyone sorry to put this on you but i am so frustrated . angry and tired. and worried all at the same time. as you know stephen has his pacemaker surgery on the 2nd of march and i am extremely fearful of this and his health has deteriated in the last week he will hardly eat because he gets puffed from eating he is exhausted all the time and cannot stand soundof any sort because oxygen is not circulating around his body. he has what they call sick sinus syndrome which apparently means he has problems with the wiring in his heart, they think he may also have muscle weakness and blocked arteries but they are doing pacemaker first hoping that will fix things. he is partially deaf and i am finding myself having yell at him to hear me which then upsets him because of the noise . he will not wear his hearing aids because he is stubborn.both him and mikaela have sleep apnea so they need there sleep and we have noisy neighbours who insists on turning music up to extremes all day and in the middle of the night. this upsets both of them then they get grumpy. i have asked politely for neighbours to turn music down because of stephens and mikaelas illnesses and have had obscene language yelled at me. i am tired because i cannot sleep checking on them all the time. and because i am so unwell myself i am flaring and in a lot of pain. i feel trapped in the house we never go anywhere other than doctors hospitals or to get groceries. i just have no time to myself and i am going stir crazy. i am getting a little grumpy myself and find myself either crying or snapping at people and this is not like me. everyone wants to be there the day of his surgery which is going to agitate me a bit i know this sounds selfish but i just want to concentrate on him and not have to worry about everyone else and making sure there alright and i found this what i had to do last time he was in hospital besides no one is allowed in there with but me.sorry if i am rambling but i just want to sleep and wake up out of this nightmare. thankyou for letting bash your ear my friends luv kim

steve.b
02-21-2012, 11:40 PM
and this too shall come to pass.

it is not an easy time......
but you will be through it very shortly.

vent away 'till then.

Nonna
02-22-2012, 02:50 AM
The Lord does not give us more than we can handle or so they tell me. Kim you are a strong woman to cope with all that you have coped with. Remember as Steve had said. "This too shall pass"

Hugs andGood Thoughts

Saysusie
02-22-2012, 07:12 AM
Oh sweetheart, you have been through so much for so long. You are an amazing woman to have been able to bare up as well as you have. I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with so much stress and worry and that now, you are in a flare. I know that this is easier said than done, but you must find a way to lessen your worry and to alleviate your stress. Worrying and stressing will do nothing to change the outcome. However; peace, calm, faith, and strength will do wonders to the way that you handle the outcome. It might also be infectious enough to cause those around you to become peaceful, calm, and to give them strength.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers and I visualize Steve's surgery as successful with an excellent prognosis. I see you and your family finding restful moments and achieving peaceful and recuperative sleep that allows you to awaken refreshed and with joy. I believe these things to be true, and so it is.....

Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

tgal
02-22-2012, 09:28 AM
Oh Kim I hope things calm down for you: if. Of from the outside then on the inside. Although it is hard please try and remember that stress only makes matters worse. When you get too stressed why not try a hot. Ath or shower ( whichever you can do). It won't fix the outside. It, as Susie said, it can help the inside

DrinkofWtr
02-22-2012, 07:35 PM
Is there any way you could politely tell the others (friends, family) how you feel about having them all there at the hospital and that you would like to have time with your hubby alone? Perhaps they would then understand your feelings about this issue. You have been under a tremendous amount of stress. I feel for you. It's easy to say try to relax, because I know it's so hard to do when you feel so overwhelmed, but please try for the sake of your own health and well-being.

SleepyInSeattle
02-22-2012, 08:26 PM
Kim, I am so sorry for what you are going through...sounds like you are kinda being assaulted on all fronts, right now...but it won't always be that way, of course...wishing you strength and peace...

You might think about calling the hospital and asking if they will help you out. My mom used to be a hospital social worker, and she would help in situations like yours - they can come to the waiting room to run interference with your family so that you can concentrate on Stephen, offer alternatives, etc. Or at least that's the sort of thing she helped people with then, which was about 25 years ago. She could also help with directing people to resources in the community for dealing with things like difficult housing situations, etc which were taking a toll on people medically. Sometimes she couldn't intervene directly, but she was hooked up with all sorts of people who could help. Just an idea....it sounds like you could use some help, especially since you are not feeling great yourself.

Best of luck, and please let us know how things go....

magistramarla
02-24-2012, 04:21 PM
Kim,
Sweet lady, you have had a lot to deal with! My thoughts will be with you next week. As Steve said, "This too, shall pass". That is my hubby's motto in life. Is there anyone (friend, family member, etc) whom you can trust to see your side in this situation, who can advocate for you? If not, do as Sleepy suggested and work with a social worker at the hospital. Stephen's health, and that of you and your kids, should be a priority before the feelings of others in the family.
We're all here for you when you need to vent.
Hang in there.
Love & Hugs,
Marla