View Full Version : Stressed to the Max
02-09-2012, 09:46 AM
Previously, I stated that I would let you guys in on my major stressor. About two months ago, my boyfriend got custody of his son. Well the boy is 13 and he won't follow any rules in the household. He was used to getting his own way at his mother's and he thinks he can run this household too. Well he got in trouble with the law and now he has to go to court next week. I sincerely hope the judge, D.A., and probation officers will make him follow some rules. He is really messed up. Anyway, he has been the cause of a lot of stress for me.
Teens of broken families tend to be difficult anyway. Add in the fact that you have an AI disease doesn't make it easier. Hopefully he gets a wake up call and things settle down for you soon
02-09-2012, 04:51 PM
Between my wife and I we have 5 kids (mine hers and ours) ranging from 30,29,22,19 and 15.
Each one was a challange in thier own way. The middle boy started giving us problems at about 13 and to get him through high school we ended up sending him to military school.Now he is 22 -a Sgt. in the Marine Corp,has an associates degree,working on a BA in criminal justice .With an eye on law school in about a year.
The first 4 are well on their way(I now have 2 wonderfull daughter-in laws and 2 grand sons)
I am now trying to teach the 15 yr old girl how to drive-she might be the death of me yet! lol
So it does get better! Just don't give up-its especially hard when its a step-child(I've heard I don't have to listen to you your not my father-at least a few times)
But when they are older they will remember you were there for them!
02-09-2012, 05:11 PM
i am sorry you are going through this i have 3 children boy 25 he has alcohol and gambling problems and borderline personality disorder, i have 23 year old girl who has lupus as well as me and has post traumatic stress disorder and i have a 16 year old girl who has aspergers, learning disability and sleep apnea so i know how stressful it can be whenyou have issues with your children and AI or lupus i have lupus and the stress can really make it worse so i sympathise sometimes i just feel like running away but i just take one day at atime hopefully your stepson will settle down and give you some relief.
02-09-2012, 09:58 PM
n.mac said it so well! Even the best of kids can be real problems when they hit that 13-16 age group.
Let him know that you will love him no matter what, but be sure that both you and your husband are firm and consistent with him.
Those awful years do finally come to an end. When they hit the age of reason (usually 21-25), they suddenly realize just how smart their parents are and they come to appreciate what you did for them. I certainly enjoy my kids now that they are adults!
02-10-2012, 12:09 PM
N.mac, I sincerely hope there is hope at the end of the tunnel. This one won't do anything. You must be proud of the 22 year old and it sounds like the others are doing well. Sometimes I feel like giving up. The social worker doesn't help either. She is always trying to tell us where to live and even told my boyfriend to leave me and go away with his son.
02-10-2012, 12:13 PM
Sounds like you have more than a full plate, Kim. Even some days are too much, and I feel like running away then too.
02-10-2012, 12:15 PM
The funny thing is Magistramarla, my one and only daughter never gave me any trouble at all growing up, but my boyfriend's son is a complete nightmare. It must be payback for something I did or didn't do in my life. I am retired now and feel like I shouldn't have to put up with all this stress with the boy. Besides, the fact that my health is not improving, but I am now experiencing more health problems the older I get.