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ruziska
12-22-2011, 09:06 PM
Greetings All! the insanity that is my life continues. I've not fallen off the wagon and am still caffeine free since 2 November! If I've suffered any withdrawal effects I wouldn't be able to discern them from all the other issues going on. Like I say "what's one more flying cow when your life is a tornado?"

Anyhow, as I've mentioned before, one of THE huge family secrets I discovered after my mom's recent passing is that my adopted aunt is really my sister. My mother had her as a 16 year old. Back before reality tv glorified young ladies having babies out of wedlock. My sister and I are ecstatic to have found each other. We've known each other our whole lives but not like this. She finally knows who her real mother is (dad is still a mystery) and I finally know I'm NOT an only child. I have a big sister!!! My mother was the oldest of 3 (even though she always claimed my sister as 4). Anyhow, my uncle passed away a few years ago, mom just passed in October so that left an aunt. I wrote her a few weeks ago. I was nice. Amazing considering my ability to explode and tear people apart. Really, I was VERY NICE. Mind you, I never cared for the woman and for whatever reason, she never liked me but whatever. I told her that mom could rest in peace knowing the truth was finally out and her daughters have come together at last. Well dear auntie (read massive sarcasm there) wrote me today and was absolutely vile. According to her I'm delusional and twisted (so? what's that got to do with anything? I'm quite happy being twisted and rather good at it!) and she totally denied everything. Denied and just went bonkers. Quite amusing. She even went so far as to say that Kit (my sister) would not ever want to be related to me. I called sis after I read the letter. Yes, dear auntie called her and went nutso on her too. We've both decided on our own to have nothing more to do with that family and are working on building a relationship. We cannot make up for years lost, be we can enjoy the future together. We don't need DNA tests to prove what we already know: we are sisters and nobody can take that away from us.

magistramarla
12-22-2011, 10:18 PM
Rita,
Wow, aren't family secrets something? I couldn't believe that my aunts and cousins feared my mother's wrath so much that they kept the truth about my Dad from me until her brain was so addled with dementia that it didn't matter anymore. It was really sad that their fear of her kept me from knowing my Dad for so long.
You and your sis have the right idea - work on building your own relationship. Does she have a copy of her birth certificate? Would it tell the truth, or was it falsified? I know that falsifying birth certificates was fairly common back then. Mine doesn't have my biological father's name on it.
Good luck with finding out your family genealogy. Let us know if you find out any more juicy tidbits - this stuff is interesting.
BTW - Congrats on the caffeine-free success. I haven't drank a soda in a long, long time - never cared for the stuff. However, nothing would ever, ever convince me to give up my morning cup of coffee. That is one vice that I will continue to have until they pry the coffee mug from my cold, dead hand - LOL.
Hugs & Happy Holidays,
Marla

Hunniebun
12-23-2011, 12:03 PM
That's always the best thing you can do, to think about YOU and get rid of the "poisons" in your life, which is that other part of your family. Some people never change, they will always try to control you or call you names or tell you that YOU are the one who is wrong, when you know you are not. This is why I removed my mother from my life over a year ago, she is a narcissist and she is very unhealthy and never let me have a life until I took it into my own hands and started one by never seeing her again. My blood sister also drives me insane and there have been times I didn't even want her as my sister, because she is very much like my mother, and it is sad to see that. I am in counseling and I am learning more and more to STOP focusing on other people, and their problems and what they pull, and to IGNORE that, and focus on YOU, what YOU want, what YOU NEED, and the positives will keep coming after that.
You know the truth, and that's all you need.

steve.b
12-24-2011, 08:08 PM
[QUOTE=ruziska;100127]....We cannot make up for years lost, be we can enjoy the future together. .... [QUOTE]

this is definetaly the best advice any one can give anyone else.

yesterday is history.
learn from it.....
but it is the past, get over it and enjoy today.


enjoy your new today, and enjoy tommorrow.
you have already lived yesterday........
do not relive it again.

thinking of you and your tornado

lucky7
12-26-2011, 12:26 PM
Gosh Steve, you always say things SO WELL! Your wife is VERY LUCKY! I DITTO YOU!!!