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ruziska
10-20-2011, 06:16 PM
My mom was the oldest of 4. I was always told that my youngest aunt was adopted. She's only 10 years older than me. She was the big sister I never had. Well, I find out today, she actually IS my older sister. Mom's and the great love of her life. Pieces of the puzzle have been found. More secrets discovered.

Please note that I am not a fan of drama so really, ENOUGH ALREADY

magistramarla
10-20-2011, 08:22 PM
Rita,
LOL - you and I have a lot of similarities. When I was in my 30s, I found out that my Dad was still alive. My mother had always told me that he was dead and played the "poor widow" part to the hilt. It turned out that I was the result of her affair with a much younger man, and the man that I had always called "Grandpa" was the older man that she had been married to. She had divorced him and briefly married my father, but it didn't work and she kicked him out. My Dad then worked for the DOD in Kuwait and Vietnam in the '60s. He said that a war zone was safer than living with Geneva. I agreed with him - I eloped at 19 to get away from her abuses. I was glad that my family and I got the chance to know my Dad before he passed - he was a great old fellow.

The skeletons that we find in our parents' closets can be quite interesting, huh?
Hugs,
Marla

BonusMom
10-20-2011, 10:11 PM
My mom was the oldest of 4. I was always told that my youngest aunt was adopted. She's only 10 years older than me. She was the big sister I never had. Well, I find out today, she actually IS my older sister. Mom's and the great love of her life. Pieces of the puzzle have been found. More secrets discovered.

Please note that I am not a fan of drama so really, ENOUGH ALREADY

Did your Aunt/Sister know the true relationship?

And here you thought you were an only child!

ruziska
10-21-2011, 07:02 AM
I finally found Mom's address book so I called my "aunt". I've not talked to her in decades. She had always suspected my mom was actually her mom, not her sister from bits and pieces of actions and things said over the years. I never suspected. Did I have questions? Yes, but I never put much time and thought into them. Mom was very secretive and a master liar so I never pushed certain issues. In the course of our conversation yesterday, questions were asked and answered on both sides and the lightbulb came on. There's still plenty of questions, but they'll never be answered. Mom's family has always been and will always be very secretive. Unless we get dna testing, we'll never know for positive but we both have enough proof to satisfy our belief that we are indeed sisters and we will go on from there.

magistramarla
10-21-2011, 10:15 PM
Rita,
I hope that you and your sister/aunt can develop a close relationship.
It's really a cool story, and sort of romantic, too. I wonder if her biological father is still alive?
His story would be interesting to hear, wouldn't it?
Hang in there!
Hugs,
Marla

GloryB
10-22-2011, 12:33 AM
I knew there would be others with a story like that, 6 years ago my sister and I found out that we had another sister, we even managed to visit with her and we all got along great. We then took the news to Mum who broke down and told us that we should never have found out and until this day she has never accepted this other sister. I was always told my real father was dead, died during WW2, a US marine, so there's nothing wrong there, except I grew up and got interested in genealogy, to cut the story short I found him under the injured list and sent for his papers which included a photo, I was thrilled but not so that he died aged 62 in 1983, so I was too late but now want the death cert to see how he died. He was terribly injured and had mental problems from the war, so I guess he decided to remain "dead" to my mum. I have never told her of my find, she is very old so won't upset her any more.

running girl
10-22-2011, 01:50 AM
Wow Ruziska, your posts are never boring, that's for sure.

You've been through so many tough time lately, perhaps this is the silver lining. Now you have a sister. Wow.

These stories are all interesting. My mom had a little secret too. I learned early in life that my "grandfather" was not really her father. Her mother had her as a young teenager. She was treated so poorly by her family and the church that my mother grew up to be so ashamed. When she finally came clean it was very sad. It made no difference to any of us, but to her is was a dirty secret.

magistramarla
10-22-2011, 08:43 PM
The family secrets that used to be kept are really something!
It is a good thing for us to research real family history, because the medical history is really important for us to know.

I can't wait to hear what Rita finds out next!
Hugs,
Marla

mdawncooper
10-23-2011, 11:41 AM
I know you must be about to go crazy but I am glad you found this out and hopefully a wonderful relationship will develop.

Melanie

ruziska
10-24-2011, 04:00 PM
Today darling daughter and I attacked mom's bedroom. 2 pickup truck loads to the thrift shop and 1 load to the dumpster and we are 80% done. I learned today that if I see notes or letters in her handwriting to THROW THEM AWAY and do NOT read them. Here's why:

When I was pregnant with darling daughter in 1992, mom flew here to Montana from Illinois with a 4 1/2 year old with her. The kid was NOT related to me but a child she and my dad took care of most of the time because his real mother preferred drinking to motherhood. Anyhow, I was high risk pregnant with a 3 1/2 year old son and a husband in the Air Force working 12 hour shifts. Mom, with kid in tow who was a terror, not only did not help in any way shape or form, instead expected me to entertain her and take care of the kid, who was NOT nice to my own son. I was having a hard time before she showed up, the 2 weeks she was here was unbearable and after she left, for months afterward, I found notes from her stuck in odd places like under lamps, between books etc. There were all about her opinion of me which wasn't nice and how I was a terrible child and the sacrifices she made for me blah blah blah. Those notes changed our relationship forever.

As I clean her bedroom, I find more of the same genre of notes, not leftover from those days but written since her move to Montana. Even in death, she drives me crazy.