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CDCW11
10-07-2011, 08:15 AM
Hello all, I am new to the site and I guess I came here for a little insight on coping with my partner and her lupus. I love her so much that it hurts. It's crazy but we have only been together for 6 months and I know this is the woman for me... She was diagnosed with lupus 5 years ago and she informed me that she had lupus after we started dating... I want to be here for her... I don't want to walk away... I am already in love with her and want to have a future with her as long as we can... She gets so distant at times... She wont talk to me or se me for days... I finally talked her into seeing a doctor... (No she has not taken any medication this whole time)... but she will not allow me to go with her... Just 6 days ago we were happy as heck now its been 4 days and she will barely talk to me... I feel like I am forcing myself on her... I need help...

steve.b
10-07-2011, 06:19 PM
hello, and welcome.

i always have admiration for people who are ready to stick by ill people.

it is not easy to see someone you love hurting, and be unable to help them.

i am a male, almost 50, and have had lupus for about 35 years.

yesterday i had a very productive meeting with my rhuematologist.
after 3 years of treatment, i am able to 1/2 my mediction.
not stop it, as it is the medication that is helping me.

i am saying this to offer hope that with medication, lupus can be (but is not always) controlled.

one of the common side effects is depression.
if this is what is happenning with your girlfriend, she will not want any company, whilst depressed.

my best suggestion to you,is to try to get her to see a rhumatologist.
these people specialise in this type of disorder.
she will need to be pocked and prodded, fora proper diagnoses.
it is not uncommon to have 15 vials of blood drawn.
lupus is diagnosed, only, after ruling out lots of other problems.

again thank you for caring, and welcome