View Full Version : Giving Up
09-22-2011, 01:41 PM
i'm tomisin and i am 16 years old. i was diagnosed with lupus 3 years ago and ever since then i have been in and out of hospital. its been really hard and i feel like no one gets me anymore even my family they all think i am an attention seeker its so horrible i cry everyday and i feel like giving up. i failed most of my gcse's this year because of lupus i am so depressed is there anything i can do to get out of this horror??
thanks so much in advance
09-22-2011, 01:52 PM
I totally understand what it feels like to want to give up. All I can say is that for every day you fight, you get another one to fight for. And you don't know what those days are going to hold.
It's good you found your way to this site. I'm new here too and I've found so much support here in the last couple days. It looks like a really good bunch of people. I hope that you keep the strength you need to fight your battle and just remember that we are here for you!
09-22-2011, 02:26 PM
Goodness Tomisin, you sure have a lot to deal with. It's been a long time since I was a teen, but I remember well how difficult that time was. And that was without having to deal with Lupus.
I'm glad you are here. There are some fantastic teens on this site who, I'm sure, can relate to what you are going through.
Try to be strong. You are not alone.
09-22-2011, 02:43 PM
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Try to remember that it is extremely difficult for someone without our conditions to understand what we go through, even our families don't always get it. There are times in all our lives that we feel like giving up. When we are in flares, and no one seems to understand us, it makes you feel like "whats the use", but there are also times when things aren't so bad and those are the days you need to concentrate on.
I am so glad that you came to this site. We all do understand. You need to be strong and don't ever give up and just remember you are not alone.
09-22-2011, 03:35 PM
So sorry you are having such a hard time with it all. I don't have Lupus myself, but have had a lot of experience with depression over the years. Are you seeing anyone relating to the depression side of things? I believe it is vital that you do. Along with anti-depressants (should you head down that track), the professionals can also help you with how you process your feelings and acceptance of the situation.
Small baby steps will head you in the right direction. There is a lot of adjustment to be done with Lupus and knowing your limits and how to deal with them will help.
As a family member of someone with Lupus I can understand how your family might think the way they do. Encouraging them to educate themselves on the disease will help their understanding. Does anyone go to your appointments with you? That will help their acceptance too when they hear the issues you are dealing with from a 'specialist' rather than yourself.
Hang in there! Things will get better - one step at the time............
I know it's hard, but you do need to keep going. And not only that, but you CAN keep going. You CAN do it!!!
I know it feels like you're alone right now, like everyone else who's sick is older, and doesn't understand what it's like to lose so much so young.
But that's not true. There are so many people who understand...they just aren't near you right now. One of our most active members (Ritzbit) was diagnosed at age 16. (She's 18 now). And while I don't have Lupus (I thought I did, but was just diagnosed today with fibromyalgia), I Only just turned 17, and I'm sick too.
There are so many wonderful people out there who can help you through this. Many of them are on this forum. A lot of them you can find on twitter, if you search #Lupus, or #Spoonie . You CAN get through this - you have the strength to do it. It doesn't feel like it, but I promise that you do.
You can work with your school to help give you lighter classloads, or more time to go between classes, or help in other areas as well. I suggest you read this article (called Back To School With Lupus), which brings up different kinds of programs that schools have, and their names, as well as some other helpful information.
You need to know that you are NOT an attention seeker. It is NOT your fault. You didn't ask for this, and quite frankly, you don't deserve this. ):
But you got it...and now you have to learn to live with it. And so do THEY. If you can, try to talk to your family about how they make you feel. If they don't respond, ask your doctor to talk to them and tell them how real of a disease that it is.
If your doctor makes you feel bad too, then you need a new one. You deserve a doctor who will empower you and help you.
We're all here to listen, and help support you. The one thing that helped me when I was really depressed with my illness (which was actually, you know, seriously recently), was joining this forum. And also twitter. I hated the thought of twitter before, but there really is a wonderful invisible illness community on there, full of people who know what you're going through, who can talk to you whether you're sick at 4am, or depressed in the afternoon. There's almost always someone there to reach out and give you someone to talk to.
I know it feels weird, to talk to strangers about your problems, but you can always feel free to message me, and talk to me. I don't have Lupus, so I can't help you with Lupus specific problems, but I can try to talk to you and understand.
You can do this. I know you can. WE know you can. One step at a time, one breath at a time. No matter how small of steps you take, you'll get there.
Oh I am so sorry for what you are going through. It makes things even harder when we have family that does not really understand. It isn't their fault because seldom does the healthy world understand how we feel but it does make it so much harder when we know people are thinking. You are with people who understand. There are several teens and early 20's hanging out in the forum so they will be able to relate even better.
We know you are not faking it or making it up. Lupus is an ugly disease and we are glad that you came to join are WHL family. We will be here if you need or want us
09-22-2011, 09:45 PM
Welcome to our group Kiddo. My heart aches for you and I will write a longer response when my brain isn't fried. I didn't want to go to bed without adding my support. I have lupus, but more importantly, I have a sick teenager and can really relate to your situation. Please hang around, post and read the threads. You will find that many people here are misunderstood by the people around them.
09-23-2011, 04:57 AM
Welcome to WHL. Im 18 and was diagnosed when I was 16. I was so sick at the beginning of this year I could barely walk. I asked my 15 year old brother to help me and he said I was lazy and told me I was faking. Sometimes people, even the ones we love, just never understand. Everyone here does though =) they have become my second family and they are always here to help. I would also suggest getting some outside help. My therapist reallllyyy helped me when I thought my lupus had me down and out.
09-27-2011, 04:24 AM
welcome to our cyber family.
here we do understand.
we try to encourage each other.
and we will attempt to answer your questions.
it can be very scarey.
it can be very hard.
depression is one of the symptoms, so please be careful.
some of us are lucky enough to get a good combination of medications, that for a time atleast, controls our illness.
i had serious problems, when first diagnosed.
i am currently checking out secondary problems caused by my lupus.
please hang in there, life is worth living, you just need to find your space within it.
sorry if i am not making complete sence, i have a lot of trouble reasonnning at present.
but i did feel i needed to comment.
i have suffered depression, and i take medication for it.
i know how easy it is to fall into the trap, and start a downward spiral.
please take care, and visit us often.