View Full Version : aftermath of husband attack

08-24-2011, 08:07 PM
First off, I'd like to thank everyone for their kind words. It helps immensely. I'm going to go into counseling so I don't loose what is left of my mind.

Tonight I had a breakdown. Our front entrance is 20 feet inside the fenced in yard. We have bells on the gate. Came in handy when I had teenagers! Anyhow, Hubby and I hear the gate rattle but don't see a vehicle out front (we've had a camera and monitor system for years, otherwise we can't see the the street). I go to the front door to check and find a neighbor walking to the front door. I freaked out. I literally freaked out. I backed away, and sent hubby who was heading that way anyhow to the door. I freaked out at the sight of an unexpected, but friendly, visitor. He didn't stay long, he brought my husband a can of legal high powered pepper spray. Was a very thoughtful gesture. After he left I fell into hubby's arms and cried uncontrollably for several minutes. When I first saw the neighbor, my heart felt like it was jumping out of my chest. Like I said, I literally freaked out. I know this guy, he's never been anything but nice, yet I freaked out. Today a student came to my desk. He was physically, built like the attacker. I almost crawled under my desk. I can't handle people coming to my door, noisy motorcycles (there's a certain brand that is infamous for being noisy), people shouting or large men. When I came home at lunch to let the dogs out, my neighbors, for whatever reason were shouting to each other. I started violently shaking. The neighbors were just having fun. Yet, I couldn't handle it.

This sucks. Pardon my language, but this really flipping sucks.

08-24-2011, 08:57 PM
Get yourself to that counselor as soon as possible. It sounds like you were really traumatized by this, and it can't be good for your Lupus symptoms, either.
I hope that things get better for you.

08-24-2011, 10:16 PM
You might read up on PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), and Marla is right - get into a counselor right away. The police department should have a victims advocate who may be able to help you with the counseling bills and other costs directly related to this crime. At the very least they should be able to direct you to people who specialize in helping crime victims.

I am so sorry this happened to you and your husband. I think I would be reacting the same way if it happened to us. Please get help before things get worse for you.

08-25-2011, 02:55 AM
Oh Hun it sure is rough to know your security has been shaken. Time and counseling will ease the fears. (((hugs)))

08-25-2011, 06:03 AM
He didn't stay long, he brought my husband a can of legal high powered pepper spray.

Hi Rita,

On a technical note, make sure you go over the instructions for the pepper spray and that you and your husband know how to use it before you might have to actually use it (hopefully that won't happen). There will be a safety device of some sort that will have to be disabled before you can use it. Also, if you do have to use the stuff, afterwards, do not touch your face or rub your eyes until you can thoroughly wash your hands with warm water and plenty of soap. Tiny amounts of the active ingredient OC will get on your hands, and if you touch your face, it's going to sting a bit.

I agree with others about seeing a counselor. PTSD is a very real condition, and it sounds like you have all the typical signs of it. Counseling can be very effective, and the sooner you get help to deal with it, the less time it will have to become more and more entrenched in your mind. It's nothing to be ashamed of or embarassed about. I've seen some of the toughest veteran police officers end up with PTSD after a particularly violent encounter.

I'm sorry you and your husband are having such a horrible time with all of this.


08-25-2011, 06:37 AM
I am sorry you are going through this, please head all of the others' advice. take care.

08-25-2011, 06:51 AM
i needed counselling after my sisiter was murdered.
the police station, should have a list of specialised counsellors that are good with this type of counselling.
also they will know how to apply for a discount or free services.

i hope you work through this.

thinking of you.

08-25-2011, 08:30 AM
Sorry to hear you had to go through this experience and i hope you get the councling you need for peace of mind sorry to say i think the world is getting more violent all the time. Bonita