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debbie-b
08-15-2011, 10:24 AM
I haven't cried in a long time. Mostly because I don't have a reason to cry, I am happy, even with the limitations lupus has given me. I am lucky to not have depression and very lucky to have the best husband in the world.
But today I am down. I miss my kids and grandkids.
We will fly to Texas to see them in October, but is it enough to see them once a year?
I miss them, I miss seing them all the time, I miss seing the grandkids growing up.
We have moved to NY about six years ago, because the heat in Texas was killing me, that was before I was diagnosed with Lupus and RA.
The weather here is better for me, but is it a fair trade off?
Anyway, thanks for listening.

Debbie (sniff, sniff)

tgal
08-15-2011, 10:43 AM
A good cry never hurts anyone. It doesn't really matter if you have "mild" lupus or have a more aggressive kind it still changes our lives. That change is not always fair, like with your move. I know it must be difficult although I have not experienced it. I just know that sometimes the tradeoffs are difficult. i am currently in Texas so I understand what the heat does to our bodies.

I wish I had the perfect answer for you. I don't. Let yourself cry. It will make you feel better

lupyme
08-15-2011, 12:59 PM
Interesting that NY helps. I'm in Texas as well. Yep, the heat is bad. I agree with Tgal. A good cry now and again can be helpful. If worst comes to worse, you can move back down here. If that's not possible, pick up little things here and there while shopping in anticipation of your visits. Looking forward to visits with grandchildren and children sometimes helps to ward off the missing them feeling.

abbasgirl
08-15-2011, 01:39 PM
Oh Debbie, that is sad. Once a year is very hard!

I've got a dry shoulder for you anytime you need it. *hugs*

n.mac
08-15-2011, 03:17 PM
Between my wife and I we have 5 kids. 30 yr old son marriedw/2 kids-29 yr old son married- both live 3 hrs away.
22 yr old son,US Marine see him on average of once or twice a year for the past 4 yrs. -19 yr old daughter just joined Il National Guard Reserves and is leaving for boot camp next month,and will go back to college(out of town) in Jan. That leaves 1 girl(15).
My wife is suffering empty nest syndrum to say the least!

One thing that has really helped us is SKYPE(video/audio feeds over your computer)-it is more comforting to see someone instead of just talking to them on the phone

lovedbyHim
08-15-2011, 04:27 PM
Bless your heart dear. It is horrible when I don't see the kids and grandkids. My heart hears your ache. Maybe you can start thinking of little items to pick up and send to the grandkids, with love notes. They love getting mail. Hang in there Hun.

bunny28
08-15-2011, 05:16 PM
Thinking of you! I too was going to suggest you look into Skype...that way you can see and hear your grandkids at the same time. I know it isn't the same. Sometimes just getting those feelings out helps. Hang in there.

Gizmo
08-15-2011, 06:00 PM
My oldest daughter just went off to Germany for a year, and I miss her terribly. Now I know how much my mom has suffered over the years, having her kids spread all over the country. We Skyped for the first time on Saturday and it did help, kind of. At least I got to see her face and her dorm in the background. Skype is better than a phone call - and it's free! Some people leave theirs on whenever they are home so they can chat as they putter around the house. My heart goes out to you - it's very hard to be separated.

Elo
08-15-2011, 06:55 PM
Go ahead and let yourself cry, love. It won't do to keep the tears in, or struggle holding them in, when you need the release. Let it out, and then relax, and get yourself a nice cup of tea or hot chocolate (or brownies, or ice cream), and sit in with the hubby and watch a feel good movie. It's okay to let yourself be sad, to let yourself go through the emotions.
I hope tomorrow is a nicer day for you, and the day after that even better.
Feel better soon (:

magistramarla
08-15-2011, 09:10 PM
Debbie,
I wrote something much longer, but it disappeared into cyber-space.
Just know that I understand what this is like.
I also know that I am much healthier living in a consistently cooler climate with low humidity and I enjoy our peaceful, drama-free existence here on the west coast.
I know that you are having a lonely day, but give them a call or skype, then put your feet up and enjoy your empty nest.
Hugs,
Marla

steve.b
08-15-2011, 10:30 PM
i am also a grand parent.

i know it hurts.
i havw felt my pain on missing out.

skype does sound a good compromise.

also the idea of sending love letters.

hope you find your answer

debbie-b
08-16-2011, 12:21 PM
To all my WHL family,

Thank you for all your lovely words and shoulders. It is so good to come here and talk to people who understand.
We do skype all the time, it is better than not seing them at all, but it is not the same as getting hugs and wet kisses. I don't get that way to often, but yesterday, I missed them so much.
My oldest daughter has a 11 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. My younger daughter has a 9 year old son and a 7 year old daughter. It is my 9 year old grandson who always tells me, "Oma I miss you so much why can't you and the Lupus live here in Dallas?" He is such a loving little boy, who always helps me get off the couch, who holds my hand so I won't fall, when we are at his house. When he heard, that I have to give myself shots now ( they hear, even if you think they are not listening), he said, " Oma the best thing to do is, close your eyes real tight, when you get the shot, then it won't hurt so much." I thanked him for that great tip, lol.
Anyway, thank you so much for caring.

Debbie

abbasgirl
08-18-2011, 08:42 PM
Aw, what a precious grandson you have Debbie! Give him a hug from me! What a sweetie he is!