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sonmak
08-11-2011, 12:07 AM
Hi all, sorry I've been gone a bit. I've had lots of appointments with Centrelink and my gp and, besides gathering some paperwork together, everything seems to be going fairly smoothly. The advice you all gave me was right, they seemed genuinely interested in the facts, not in making me 'prove' myself or something. Although, I was slightly discouraged by how many times she told me that if I was rejected I could appeal. Still, she listened without obvious judgement and what appeared to be genuine care, and that's all I was hoping for. Also, my old medical centre found a single lonely piece of paperwork, a letter from my rheumy to my gp! YAY! Because the letter listed details of both my RA and the medications I was taking 15yrs ago, she had no problem filling out the Treating Doctors Report, though I found it amusing she asked me if I really had taken disease modifying drugs, I shrugged, if its in the letter I would say I did! lol, 15 yrs ago, I can't remember all the names of the meds I'm taking now :/!
I also learnt, to make more notes! the amount of things I forgot to mention won't help me any. I have a new rheumy app in a week and a half and have begun noting things down to take with me.
So things are on track, slowly but surely. I just am not sure how much longer I can wait. I have no money now. none. I've had a very painful couple of days and couldn't take my meds until the evening yesterday because I had no food to eat first, I was in tears before I finally fell asleep about 2amish. today hubby came home with some McDonalds around 4pm (despite me asking for better food because of my high cholestral and enlarged heart, he says well I'll drop you money then and you go shopping, sigh, I know he's busy but I AM IN PAIN FFS!) He overheard me talking with my (eldest) daughter, he heard me say I was in a lot of pain because I hadn't been able to take my tablets properly for two days. He rolled his eyes! When I looked at him incredulously, he made a snort noise and said yea. Then left to go back to work. WTF?? I don't understand? I think his attitude towards me, despite his sometimes genuine effort to understand and be tolerant, is making my depression worse, which is inturn making my pain and tiredness etc, worse. I spend a lot of my time resisting the urge to get into the car and drive until I run out of petrol, walk until I can't anymore, then crawl into a hole and breath until I don't anymore.

lovedbyHim
08-11-2011, 03:06 AM
Oh you poor girl. I'm so sorry things are so hard for you. My heart is heavy as you tell your story.

If you lived near me here is what I would so. I would make you a big pot of soup and homemade bread. Then I would take you to my church food pantry and fill your cupboards. Until you have enough money, are there any food panties in your area. We have at least one in every town. Call a friend to take you to one or there is the salvation army, red cross, etc.

When I was 17 I had a child and was alone. I worked everyday but it was not enough, so I would gist friends at meal times so my baby could eat. I would tell them I already ate. I was 120lbs at 5' 11" . Please call someone and fill those cupboards for you health.

sonmak
08-11-2011, 08:46 PM
Thankyou. I wish I did live near you! That sounds lovely, homemade soup and warm bread... mmmm (no pumpkin though! lol) You always have a kind word to say, it means so much to me. You help my heart smile :) Thankyou.

Elo
08-12-2011, 11:56 AM
I so wish that I could help you as well..i'm not very good at making soup, but i could load you up with baked goods and plenty of hugs.
I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time...while the good news you gave about your appointment etc was nice, it is definitely offset by the sadness of your hubby not understanding.
Have you applied for medicare/medicaid? I really hope that things start to look up for you soon...

I agree with loved, can you possibly look into food pantries or help in your area, to help get you through this rough patch, until you come out the other side?

:( My heart is heavy for you, and full of hope and well wishes, that everything will start to look up soon. Stay strong..

Saysusie
08-12-2011, 12:58 PM
I just wanted to give you some information about possible resources in your area (food pantries, etc.)
1. Asylum Seeker Resource Center; 12 Batman Street, West Melbourne - (03) 9326 6066
2. Foodbank Victoria; 4/2 Somerville Rd - Yaraville, Victoria - (03) 9362-8300

Please let us know if these places are able to help you or, at least, able to refer you to someone who can help. I am sorry that you are having so many difficulties, but eating should not be one of them. I wish you the very best.

Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

debbie-b
08-12-2011, 01:41 PM
Oh Susie,

You are just THE best.
Always going the extra mile.

Debbie

tgal
08-12-2011, 07:54 PM
I don't know how I missed this thread but my heart aches for you! I have been where you are and I understand the tears. Just try to hold on. As our wonderful Susie said there are places that will help those in need. You are one of those in need. The stress level when you are at this point is off the charts and we know stress makes us worse. I don't know about where you are but in my area there was a place that would pay my utility bill if I had a doctor that would say that I would be disabled for 1 year. He did and that took a HUGE amount of stress off of me. Please ask your utility company about what programs they have or no about.

Please remember that we are here for you whenever you need a place to vent or cry. You are family and we take care of family

Gizmo
08-12-2011, 08:16 PM
Sonmak, can you get help from a social worker through your medical system? They should be able to at least tell you what is available to you and how to get started. I understand how you would feel things are hopeless - but there are a lot of people here who care about what happens to you. We just aren't close enough to give you a physical hand. It must be really hard to be so dependent on your husband and have him leave you without food or money. I have no idea what the system in Australia is like for getting help in your situation, but it seems like there must be some sort of social assistance. Can your daughter help you with food and make phone calls on your behalf?

sonmak
08-12-2011, 09:42 PM
Thankyou everybody sooo much. I thought maybe I had written to much! lol I know it ended kinda dark, but here's where I come when I hit bottom, to my WHL family who always understand. I hereby swear to also post something when I'm next feeling peppy, lol.
WoW Saysusie... above and beyond
I will call those places on Monday :) We do have assistance programs here, there are social workers at Centrelink that can help if the case is urgent, ie getting beat or something, which I'm not. Otherwise, there are programs to help you get relocated etc, but the waiting list is a minimum of 5yrs. Lotta people in need!
There are people I could turn to, up until 6mnths ago I was an active member of our local State Emergency Service, all those people are volunteers with a huge capacity for giving and caring, I just can't, because without a firm dx beyond the RA I don't feel like I can justify the condition I'm in and I feel weak and embarrassed just saying I'm sick all the time. I feel like once my disability comes through, access to a lot more services will open up. and I will have definitive answers to give. I just typically left it too long to apply.
In Australia we have Medicare, which every Australian has access to at all times (though, if you are well paid you'll be taxed extra for not having private cover but you can still use Medicare). It covers most basic health needs (except teeth Grrr) and you pay 'the gap', when you also have a health care card though you don't pay anything. It can mean the doctors/spec you wait longer to see are often overworked and cannot commit to your treatment as thoroughly as they might otherwise. I'm learning it would help to keep some kind of running journal and to briefly remind them of your previous visit. Usually decent though, specially if you can nab them young, before they're tired. lol I feel very lucky that, ok, I might be chronically ill, but at least I'm chronically ill in Australia! What if I lived in some poor part of Africa or something with access to very little and no painkillers?
My beautiful daughter... (they are both gorgeous, I mean the eldest in this case) has always been amazing support. Definitely an old soul! She can not make phone calls for me, she gets panic attacks often if she has to deal with strangers, but she gets it, she gets me! Much more helpful. Maybe because it was just her and I for many years before I remarried, and she saw and remembers how I've been through the years, or maybe its just her wonderful heart, either way I'd be lost without her. She's always in my corner, is so forgiving and understanding. She never makes me feel guilty or useless for being sick, like she said to me in the supermarket the other week after I complained for the millionth time about using my cane in public. "Mum" she'd stopped suddenly, I turned and looked UP at her, those who matter don't care, and those that care don't matter!" *blows on fingernails and polishes them on opp sleeve... Yep, I did good there! ;)