View Full Version : Pre trial tomorrow

08-07-2011, 08:39 PM

18 yr old daughter had a so called friend that she's known since 3rd grade. "Friend" has serious bipolar issues and has been in and out of hospitals forever. Darling daughter is the only person who could handle the girl, including her own parents. Not to say they haven't had issues over the years, but my daughter is a caring patient girl that is just too nice for her own good somedays.

In May, the girl was spending the night here with my daughter. They had gone out with friends and had come home a bit after 2 am. Daughter had borrowed a tshirt from the girl. As soon as they got her, girl DEMANDS her shirt back IMMEDIATELY. Loudly, out of control. The girl has a history of "blackout rages" and later told the cop that she was "off her meds". Daughter tells her several times to quiet down as parents (me and hubby) were in the next room sleeping and had to get up early. She said she'd change and give her the shirt after she calmed down which girl refused to do. She was frantic and screaming. Daughter tries to get her to shut up and LEAVE. Girl refuses to do so not without her shirt. Daughter whips it off and gives it to her and gets girl to leave. She did so loudly, screaming the entire time and slamming doors and gates.
8 hours later, there is a cop at my door claiming my daughter hit girl in face and left a red mark. Daughter was given a citation even though cop says off the record that he doesn't believe daughter touched the girl. Daughter never laid a hand on her.
Daughter's lawyer doesn't believe she hit her either. "Evidence" is a joke. I saw the pictures of the red mark. Looks like a bad makeup job to me and 8 hours later???? Please, if she had hit her, the red mark would have either disappeared or started bruising. No medical attention was sought. Lawyer is going to argue trespassing (she was asked to leave and refused), and claim that even if daughter had hit girl, it would have been considered self defense as girl was admittedly out of control. Prosecution has an extremely weak case. City is running out of money and doesn't want to pay for any cases they don't believe they will win. Tomorrow is the pre trial and if it goes to trial, it will be a jury trial which means if the prosecution loses, it will cost the city much $$. Lawyer is very confident for our side. After all is said and done, lawyer is girl a "no contact" letter which is one step below restraining order as this girl has a history (of which I've not gone into) of causing trouble for daughter and this family is concerned about escalation of trouble. Fortunately girl does not know where daughter now lives. Hubby and I are still in same place and have ramped up personal security precautions. Yes, girl is that disturbed.
I joke with darling daughter that as a child, daughter talked of becoming a writer- well she certainly has enough fodder for a book!

Best case scenario: prosecution dismisses the case TOMORROW. Worst case: trial September 13. Most likely: prosecution drags it out to the last minute and dismisses case right before trial. Our lawyer won't settle for anything less than a clean record for daughter.

I'll post results if anyone is interested.

Who needs soap operas with my family???? But I love them anyhow! (my family, not soap operas)

08-07-2011, 08:55 PM
Stories like yours are why people are reluctant to help folks with mental problems. I'm sorry your darling daughter is paying for her friendship with this girl and hope that everyone sees reason tomorrow and drops the case. Good luck!

08-08-2011, 01:01 AM
as you said in another post............

me .. stress

thinking of you all.

08-08-2011, 03:13 AM
I'm sorry to hear about this mess. I truly hope the truth comes out and everything is made clear. I have been dating a man for over a year, who has bi-polor. Lately he has been real moody because I am not sick and hiking alone sometimes. Yep this sounds crazy. BECAUSE IT IS! I hope and pray your daughter fares well. Oh and for the record I'm hiking alone again next weekend!

08-08-2011, 12:01 PM
1 1/2 hours away from pre trial. I wanted to wring daughter's neck this morning. Last night she and a friend decided to go camping. Of course where she just HAD to go was 45 minutes out of cell service and almost 2 hours from home. She was supposed to call me this morning as soon as she had reception. By 11 am I still had not heard from her. Again, it is a TWO HOUR trip back to town. She is infamous for not only sleeping in but waiting until the last minute to get somewhere, often late. I was calling her every 5 minutes, only getting her voicemail. Hubby and I decided to drive out to the campsite (only 1 way in and 1 way out) and toss sleeping beauty in the car if necessary. 10 miles outside of town she FINALLY answers her phone. She's home. Don't know when she got there, but she's in town. Said her "phone died". And she couldn't use her friend's phone why?????
Oh well, at least hubby filled my car before we left so I don't have to worry about gas for work tomorrow.

08-08-2011, 03:17 PM
Oh god!! Doesnt she know that a no show is the worst thing she could do... being late almost as bad. My ex never showed to court when I was getting a restraining order on him so they granted it then and there.

08-08-2011, 03:47 PM
I'm sorry to hear about this mess. I truly hope the truth comes out and everything is made clear. I have been dating a man for over a year, who has bi-polor. Lately he has been real moody because I am not sick and hiking alone sometimes. Yep this sounds crazy. BECAUSE IT IS! I hope and pray your daughter fares well. Oh and for the record I'm hiking alone again next weekend!

I too dated someone who suffered fom bi-polar diesease, Please involve yourself in thier treatment. By that I mean know what meds he is supposed to take and try to see to it he does. It truly is a rollercoaster and when he is manic he most likely will believe he doesn't need his meds and won't take them which will invariable lead to a crash.The highs and lows can be terrifing and difficult to deal with.
My friend would suffer extreme paranoia and jealousy-this was many years ago and I still have occasional contact with her and she is doing well and she credits this with coming to terms with taking her meds whether she thinks she needs them or not.

08-08-2011, 08:05 PM
Hey everyone! Daughter did indeed make it back in time for trial. I'm not going to wring her neck after all. At least not this time. Prosecution offered $100 fine and 6 months of no trouble then it would all go away. Our lawyer suggested turning it down as she knows prosecution does NOT have a case. They'll have to interview the girl whom we are all certain will either drop the charges or tell such a screwed up story that even the prosecution won't believe her. Add in the fact that the city is running out of funds and will soon be directed to dump any case they aren't 100% positive they can win, plus the fact that with a jury trial, all kinds of professional medical testimony will be needed which will really cost the city $, plus the fact the girl never sought medical attention in the first place, yeah, the case is going to get dropped. They may wait until the day before the trial (September 13- yay for end of fiscal year!) but we are all confident it will get dropped. Oh yeah and add the fact the girl told the cop and it is on record that she was "off her meds" and now that she is an adult, the reason for those meds will be brought up in court and the fact my daughter has no priors of ANY kind... you know how this is going to turn out.

08-08-2011, 10:50 PM
it may not be over..... but it is won already.
happy for the little wins

08-09-2011, 12:36 AM
Thank GOD you went that route : ) You are great for supporting her through this.

My parents werent so great... and I got accused of libel, protecting THEM! They suggested I do as the person suggested and being a scared 18 year old I went along with it. Even though I was not guilty of what they accused me of! I am so bitter about that... my parents spread a rumour... true rumour... but still they are the ones that spread it... and I emailed the club to notify them... and they traced my email address and I got the blame. It was INCREDIBLY embarrassing... incredibly... and all it did was save the butts of the club themselves and my parents. Years later with more common sense and I am FUMING that I was a scape goat when I was the one doing the right thing. Now I have no way to clear my name and will have to live with it for the rest of my life.

Thank you for not allowing your daughter to have to live with a similar shame... my parents would have probably pushed me to go for what the gov offered.