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Linda From Australia
07-29-2011, 05:22 AM
Come on guys, I am desperate - I need your help!!!!!!!!!!!

I am seriously ill with this new disease that I have ben diagnosed with that is destroying my muscles. Apparently my Lupus is under control (Thank goodness), however, this nw disease is progressing faster. I started getting sick 3 months ago, but week by week I have been slowly getting sicker. The last 3 weeks, it has accelerated, every week, faster than the one before. It started off with muscle weakness then atrophy, it has now started to damage my gastrointestinal tract. My intestines muscles do not allow nutrients to be absorbed causing weight loss, (even though I have tripled my calorie and food intake, and I am on 50mg Prenisolone), not enough nutrients are being absorbed my my brain so it can't produce the hormone that keeps me asleep, I have constant nausea, my swallowing muscles are deteriorating causing me to choke on my own saliva, waking my up numerous times a night, and having difficulty with eating and drinking. Skeltal muscles are deteriorating, making moving extremely difficult.

I have done 200% to be healthy, exercise, eating healthy, adopting a very healthy positive attitude, always smiling, never complaining etc... yet, I am getting sicker - seriously sick - it can be classifies as an exponential growth rate where it starts off slow, then there is a fast decline. Today I went to my principal and told him it is time to start reducing my hours (I know many of you will say "It is about time!"). I LOVE teaching, I LOVE going to school, I LOVE the stimulation, I LOVE laughing and smiling all the time. Being at school keeps me going, keeps me alive, but I will accept it. The reason why I came to this decision is because there has been a few incidents this week.
1. I am getting weaker
2. My swallowing is getting worse, my voice is getting softer
3. I have been loosing more weight, 2 kg in 2 weeks - and tonight when I weighed myself I have lost 1/2 kg in one day.
4. After my hysterectomy 7 months ago I have built up really strong pelvic floor muscles, now within 3 days, they have deteriorated

I didn't want to make this post to complain the reason for this post is that I am ALWAYS happy, ALWAYS smiling no matter what, ALWAYS wanting to make people feel good, and NEVER asking for help from anyone (except lately because I cannot physically do a lot of things). Now I am asking for your help - PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

I would like you all to post some funny things for me to read, especially when another symptom appears, and the ones I have get worse. I want to be able to read this thread and be distrated from the excruciating pain, chronic nausea, increasing choking, etc.... I want to read about funny things that have happened in your life. Funny jokes you know. Funny sayings. I want to keep laughing, I want to keep my positive attitude. Don't get me wrong, I am not depressed, although I am sad at times, I just want someone to make ME LAUGH.

May I be so bold as to set a few rules for this thread:
1. No jokes about being ill or the effects of any illness
2. No mention about how life has changed for the better because of a particular illness
3. Your jokes have to be funny (Or if they aren't funny that will be OK, because I will laugh at how pathetic the joke is)

Please help me, I need someone to make me laugh, I need to be distracted, because I have a cheerful heart, and because of that, the progress of this disease is going to move slower than if I was miserable. Thanks heaps in advance ... I LOVE you guys, I LOVE how you encourage everyone!

tgal
07-29-2011, 06:43 AM
ummm... Would that be like telling you about when I super glued my eye shut as a teen? How about when I ran my car through a garage door (twice)? LOL Surely you don't want to hear about those

ruziska
07-29-2011, 06:52 AM
One of my cats hates his tail. He doesn't realize he has a tail until he washes his back then he attacks his tail and spins around in circles growling and biting his tail then will glare at me like it is MY fault he has a tail.

tgal
07-29-2011, 07:01 AM
One of my cats hates his tail. He doesn't realize he has a tail until he washes his back then he attacks his tail and spins around in circles growling and biting his tail then will glare at me like it is MY fault he has a tail.\

LOL Mine does that too!!! It is hysterically funny to watch and I keep thinking one day he will figure it out but nope, he believes it is his arch enemy. I must admit that I I get so much entertainment out of it I hope he never figures out the truth LOL

sharpiessave
07-29-2011, 07:11 AM
At the risk of making this a cat thread, he're my twitty attacking Mama as she washes a window. . .


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OjXginmlnc

I promise I'll come up with something un-cat related too. =)

Hey, I just realized that at the end of the video there are options for some mor videos of my goddaughter cracking herself up. The Giggles 1 is adorable, but after that she just gets kinda annoying. What I love about that video is that she had just learned that she could scream for fun, as opposed to doing it cuz she was sad or mad. Linda, I highly reccomend you find a secluded spot and scream your head off until you laugh yourself silly.

Elo
07-29-2011, 08:45 AM
Well...personally, I'm a big fan of pathetic humor. So while i'll definitely try to think of some actually funny jokes, for now, here are some pathetic ones to at least make you thankful your sense of humor is better than mine.

This one's my favorite:
So two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other muffin and says "MAN, it's HOT in here, huh?" The other muffin looks over and says


'AHHHHHHH!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!"


~~~~~~~

2. Wanna hear a joke about my cat?


...nah, just kitten.


*cracks up* kitten...heh...heh..heheheh... ehem.

*deep breath*
...damn, nope, *giggles* i can't stop. It's just so stupid.

3) So a little boy goes up to his teacher holding a frog, and says, very sadly, "Miss, my frog is dead"
The teacher gives him a consoling look, but is unsure of whether or not he can tell the frog is actually dead, an thus asks him "How do you know he's dead?"
"Cuz i pissed in his ear"
....
"You WHAT?" The teacher exclaimed, astounded.
"You know, I leaned in, and went "psssstt", and he didn't look up"

tgal
07-29-2011, 08:51 AM
Well...personally, I'm a big fan of pathetic humor. So while i'll definitely try to think of some actually funny jokes, for now, here are some pathetic ones to at least make you thankful your sense of humor is better than mine.

This one's my favorite:
So two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other muffin and says "MAN, it's HOT in here, huh?" The other muffin looks over and says


'AHHHHHHH!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!"


~~~~~~~

2. Wanna hear a joke about my cat?


...nah, just kitten.


*cracks up* kitten...heh...heh..heheheh... ehem.

*deep breath*
...damn, nope, *giggles* i can't stop. It's just so stupid.

3) So a little boy goes up to his teacher holding a frog, and says, very sadly, "Miss, my frog is dead"
The teacher gives him a consoling look, but is unsure of whether or not he can tell the frog is actually dead, an thus asks him "How do you know he's dead?"
"Cuz i pissed in his ear"
....
"You WHAT?" The teacher exclaimed, astounded.
"You know, I leaned in, and went "psssstt", and he didn't look up"

LOL Those were really bad. The last one almost made me spit my coffee though!

panda_lupo
07-29-2011, 09:12 AM
First-year students at the Purdue Vet School were attending their first
anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery
table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine it
is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that
you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body." For an
example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt
of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do
the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took
turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second
most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and
sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's Tough, But
It's Even Tougher If You're Stupid."...

panda_lupo
07-29-2011, 09:15 AM
The Newfie Bic Lighter




Bob and Ralph were fishing on the
Newfoundland shoreline when Bob
pulled out a cigar. Finding he had
no matches,he asked Ralph for a light.

'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,'
and reaching into his tackle
box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 12 inches long

'Holy shit, man!' exclaimed Bob,taking
the huge Bic Lighter in his hands.
'Where'd yew git dat monster?'

'Well,' replied Ralph,
'I got it from my Genie.'

'You haff a Genie?' Bob asked.

'Ya, shure. It's right here in my tackle
box,' says Ralph.

'Could I see him?'

Ralph opens his tackle box and
sure enough, out pops the Genie

Addressing the Genie,Bob says,
'Hey dere! I'm a good buddy of
your master. Will you grant me
one wish?'

'Yes, I will,' says the Genie.

So Bob asks the Genie for a
million bucks. The Genie disappears
back into the tackle box leaving
Bob sitting there waiting for his million
bucks. Shortly,the Newfoundland sky
darkens and is filled with the sound of
a million ducks....
flying directly overhead.

Over the roar of the million ducks
Bob yells at Ralph,
'What the hell? I asked for a million
bucks, not a million ducks!'

Ralph answers,
'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie
is hard of hearing. Do yew really tink
I asked for a 12 inch Bic?'

tgal
07-29-2011, 09:16 AM
At the risk of making this a cat thread, he're my twitty attacking Mama as she washes a window. . .


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OjXginmlnc

I promise I'll come up with something un-cat related too. =)



Hey, I just realized that at the end of the video there are options for some mor videos of my goddaughter cracking herself up. The Giggles 1 is adorable, but after that she just gets kinda annoying. What I love about that video is that she had just learned that she could scream for fun, as opposed to doing it cuz she was sad or mad. Linda, I highly reccomend you find a secluded spot and scream your head off until you laugh yourself silly.

Loved the video!! LOL Thanks for sharing

panda_lupo
07-29-2011, 09:17 AM
An 18-year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. The mother is very worried. She goes immediately to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result confirms that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing and crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl calmly picks up the telephone and makes a call. About a half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man, with graying hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit, steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house. He sits down in the living room with the father, mother and the girl.

He tells them, "Good morning. Your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation. But I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a new Ferrari, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa and a $2 Million bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4 Million bank account. If twins, they will each receive a factory and $2 Million. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the Italian father, who had remained silent throughout the meeting while holding a shot-gun, places his hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You gonna try again!


Hope these make you laugh Linda! These sure gave me a giggle!!!

Panda!

Elo
07-29-2011, 09:18 AM
I'll probably be spamming this thread. Maybe i'll eventually make you laugh - I mean, even a blind squirrel gets a nut every once in a while eh? (;

So it was little Johnny's first day of kindergarten. Naturally, he was rather excited and nervous. Everyone had just piled into the classroom, brand new backpacks in their brand new cubbys, and their kindergarten teacher wanted to give them a really important speech.
"Now, I want everyone to stand up if they think that they're stupid", she said, trying to be motivational.
"go ahead - anyone who thinks that they're stupid should stand up".
Nobody stood up. Everybody looked around at anyone else for a while, until finally, slowly, little Johnny stood up.
"Johnny, do you think that you're stupid?"
"No.." replied Johnny.
"Well then why did you stand up?" Asked the teacher, befuddled.
"Well, I didn't want you to be lonely standing up all by yourself....."

panda_lupo
07-29-2011, 09:20 AM
ok one more!!! This one is from my uncle! if you know my aunt then you be on the floor with me and my uncle rolling around in laughter

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence..

So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'

The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'

'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.

'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.

'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.

'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.

'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan.

'Yep,' was the calm reply.

'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.

' Nope,' said the old man

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'
The man calmly replied,

'Been married to your sister for 48 years.

hahaha! man aunt both gave my uncle and me a good smack or two for this one! Although she was grinning too in the end haha

panda_lupo
07-29-2011, 09:21 AM
I'll probably be spamming this thread. Maybe i'll eventually make you laugh - I mean, even a blind squirrel gets a nut every once in a while eh? (;

So it was little Johnny's first day of kindergarten. Naturally, he was rather excited and nervous. Everyone had just piled into the classroom, brand new backpacks in their brand new cubbys, and their kindergarten teacher wanted to give them a really important speech.
"Now, I want everyone to stand up if they think that they're stupid", she said, trying to be motivational.
"go ahead - anyone who thinks that they're stupid should stand up".
Nobody stood up. Everybody looked around at anyone else for a while, until finally, slowly, little Johnny stood up.
"Johnny, do you think that you're stupid?"
"No.." replied Johnny.
"Well then why did you stand up?" Asked the teacher, befuddled.
"Well, I didn't want you to be lonely standing up all by yourself....."

BAHAHAH! I love Johnny jokes!!

Linda From Australia
07-29-2011, 09:35 AM
Thanks guys, you have made me laugh, and it is so very distracting!

Keep those 'pathetic jokes coming in, remember I am a teacher, and kids tell the most pathetic jokes, and it is my job to laugh at them. Little do they know that I am not actually laughing at their jokes, I am laughing at the pathetic kids. (oops did I actually say 'pathetic kids'. sh ... don't tell my Prinicpal, he thinks I am a nice caring teacher)

lovedbyHim
07-29-2011, 09:54 AM
Would that be about when I was 15 in a youth group and madly in love with the boy sitting next to me and I had my knees up on the table and passed air?

Gosh the pressure is on here! I feel gas coming on from all this stress to come up with a good joke. I promise to tell many as we owe you about fifty!

panda_lupo
07-29-2011, 09:56 AM
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in alittle red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.



The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.


'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.



'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.



'Little partner, 'the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster. '

The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'

rob
07-29-2011, 01:35 PM
I used to know all sorts of "the definition of" jokes. I still remember a few, though I can't tell all of them here...

Heres one-

What's the definition of lazyness?

Pooping in bed, and pushing it down with your feet.


Short, disgusting, and hopefully funny.

debbie-b
07-29-2011, 02:48 PM
I used to know all sorts of "the definition of" jokes. I still remember a few, though I can't tell all of them here...

Heres one-

What's the definition of lazyness?

Pooping in bed, and pushing it down with your feet.


Short, disgusting, and hopefully funny.

I can just imagine how many you have, that you can't tell here.lol
My problem is that I can never remember a good joke, even before brain fog.

Debbie

Elo
07-29-2011, 04:38 PM
So a blonde woman was on an airplane, and she got seated next to a lawyer. The woman really just wanted to relax and sleep, but the lawyer wasn't having it - he wanted to bug her.
"How about we play a game? I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you give me 10 dollars. You ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll give YOU 10 dollars"
The blonde, just wanting to be left alone, politely declined.
But still the lawyer wasn't having it, so he decided to up the stakes
"Well how about this, everytime you don't know an answer, you give me 10 dollars, and every time I don't know an answer, i'll give you a HUNDRED dollars".

Telling that she wasn't going to be left alone until she played his game, she finally agreed.
"I'll go first," said the lawyer.
"What is the distance between the earth and jupiter in miles?"
The woman didn't know, and thus gave him 10 dollars.
"Your go," said the lawyer.
'What goes up a hill on 2 legs, stands on top with 8, and goes down it with 3?"
The lawyer set to work, immediately bringing up his laptop and tapping into the wifi on the plane. He started to search for a long time - he checked online, checked different forums, called his extremely smart and esteemed friends, he racked his brains for any answer he could think of..but he was stumped.
As he searched, the blonde fell asleep, left alone by the pestering lawyer. After an hour or two, the man finally gave up, and woke her up, handing her a $100 bill in defeat. The woman took the bill, and had just placed it in her purse, when the lawyer loudly exclaimed "Well??? What was it?!"
Without a word, the woman handed over $10, and fell asleep.

Elo
07-29-2011, 06:02 PM
Ok, here goes another one.
So this blonde woman goes down to Florida, and she wants to get some alligator shoes. She's heard that the BEST alligator shoes are in Florida, so naturally she stops by a few vendors to try to find some super cute shoes. To her dismay, the shoes are really EXPENSIVE! She starts bickering with one of the vendors, trying to get him to lower his prices, but he won't budge.
"Lady, the only way you're going to get cheaper shoes is if you kill the alligator yourself". He scoffs.
"Hmph. Maybe I will!!!"
She storms off, and the vendor chuckles to himself, thinking, yeah right lady, then goes about his day.
That evening, as he's driving home, he passes a creek, and to his amazement, there is the blonde! She's standing there with a huge shotgun in hand, 3 HUGE gators layed out on the grass next to her, and as he watches, another huge gator starts swimming up to her. POW!! He hears the shotgun fire, and the animal stops still. Still watching, bewildered, the man sees the blonde work to pull and tug it up to the side of the water, where the other alligators lay. He's just about to step out to offer help when he hears her scream
"DAMMIT!! This one isn't wearing any shoes either!!!"

Elo
07-29-2011, 06:33 PM
Okay, this is a thread/website, but it's hilarious, and too long to post here.
It's real quotes from courtroom cases.

Example:

Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "How old are you?"
Witness: "Oral."

___

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

___

anywho, link is here:
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1y6tQD/rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml

BonusMom
07-29-2011, 08:09 PM
I hate to be a downer, Linda, but I don't have any stupid cat stories or cat jokes. All I can remember are a couple of dirty jokes--from the olden days when people "told" jokes instead of forwarding jokes on newfangled computers.

And, don't tell anyone or they'll hate me here at WHL and I'll get PM hate mail.......but I hate cats. I mean really-what are they good for besides chasing mice? I love our dog-a retriever mix we got from the pound-who killed a mouse yesterday BTW.........but a cat? Nahhhhhhhhhhh

rob
07-29-2011, 08:33 PM
I hate to be a downer, Linda, but I don't have any stupid cat stories or cat jokes. All I can remember are a couple of dirty jokes--from the olden days when people "told" jokes instead of forwarding jokes on newfangled computers.

And, don't tell anyone or they'll hate me here at WHL and I'll get PM hate mail.......but I hate cats. I mean really-what are they good for besides chasing mice? I love our dog-a retriever mix we got from the pound-who killed a mouse yesterday BTW.........but a cat? Nahhhhhhhhhhh

I'll have you know, my cats may only chase mice, but they chase mice in STYLE. (insert smiley face)

Click for fullsize-
4182

gkf109
07-29-2011, 09:27 PM
A woman (with a certain hair color of which I wont mention because I dont want to offend anyone) calls her boyfriend very frustrated and tells him she is having trouble with a puzzle she is trying to put together and asks if he can come and help, she says she cant figure it out all the pieces look the same, he asks what the picture is and she says it is a rooster, he says he will be right over, he walks in the door she is at the table crying and looking very frustrated, he looks down at the table and says... lets put all these cornflakes back in the box and we'll talk about it!!

BonusMom
07-29-2011, 09:31 PM
ROTFLMAO!

Gotta love Photoshop!

panda_lupo
07-29-2011, 09:41 PM
i'll have you know, my cats may only chase mice, but they chase mice in style. (insert smiley face)

click for fullsize-
4182

hahaha! Oh rob that was a good one!!

Linda From Australia
07-29-2011, 10:17 PM
Pooping in bed, and pushing it down with your feet.
Short, disgusting, and hopefully funny.

Oh Rob ... that is so bad ... SO BAD .....
Your joke is similar to the jokes the boys in my Year 6 class tell. YOu make me laugh, laughing at how pathetic and disgusting you are ... let me tell you this, if you continue to say jokes like that in my class I woud send you to detention, and not when another teacher was on duty, I would make sure you go when I am on Detention duty. Come on Rob, I know you are missing a few neurons, but surely you have some neurons left in that brain of yours, can come up with something better than that.

OK so you want to know what made me SMILE today??
I wear a long sleeve rashie to the heated pool everyday, and I still get very cold, and it has worn out in just 2 months. I managed to get a warmer one from a surf shop today. SMILE I am so happy, now I can continue at the pool and not shiver.

You guys are wonderful, you are super distracting me, and making me SMILE ... keep it up, you have no idea what this means to me. (Rob, I am waiting for a good joke from you ... or else .. DETENTION!)

tgal
07-29-2011, 10:34 PM
OK, being a preachers kid I happen to find the Church Bulletin Bloopers to be funny so I thought I would share them with you




Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
Evening massage - 6 p.m.
The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
Ushers will eat latecomers.
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"
Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett
Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"
On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.
Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

kim,l
07-29-2011, 10:43 PM
i was on a greyhound bus with my mother inlaw when we pulled into this country town for pick up and this stupid woman jumped out on to the the road waving her arms in the air when i commented to the driver what a stupid brainless twit this woman was the busdriver told me the twit was his wife just giving him his lunch needless to say i remained silent for the rest of the trip

Linda From Australia
07-29-2011, 11:34 PM
quote=tgal;93846
evening massage - 6 p.m.
pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
Yes please !!!

rob
07-30-2011, 12:10 AM
Oh Rob ... that is so bad ... SO BAD .....
Your joke is similar to the jokes the boys in my Year 6 class tell. YOu make me laugh, laughing at how pathetic and disgusting you are ... let me tell you this, if you continue to say jokes like that in my class I woud send you to detention, and not when another teacher was on duty, I would make sure you go when I am on Detention duty. Come on Rob, I know you are missing a few neurons, but surely you have some neurons left in that brain of yours, can come up with something better than that.

You asked for jokes, funny stuff. Like many others, I responded. If you didn't like my response, that's no problem at all.


However, it is unacceptable to call me, or anyone else here "pathetic and disgusting".

Frankly Linda, your attitude towards others in this thread, and to others in the new members forum, has been terrible.

I've had to remove some really sarcastic and angry messages to new members made by you.

I'm sorry for what you are going through, but no amount of Illness justifies this sort of conduct.

Please stop this.

You have been warned, and this thread is closed.

Rob
Moderator