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ruziska
07-26-2011, 02:36 PM
Ah the joys of the sandwich generation: barely a chance to breathe and enjoy being an empty nester before my mother needs my care. I've written threads bemoaning the issues I've had dealing with her. Her latest escapade is to just show up at my house, hand me a bag full of paperwork and tell me to sort it out. She lives around the corner from me. She has cameras set up outside her house (that's what happens when son in law is an excop) and she must have one set up to shoot down the road I turn onto to get to my house because several times now she shows up minutes after I get home. I don't have a chance to do anything around the house and she just shows up.

I was a bad daughter today. As soon as I saw her pull up ( I too have cameras - married to excop!), I grabbed my purse, made sure I had my house key and ran out the door, greeting her and telling her I was late for an appointment. So she shoves the bag in my hands telling me to sort it all out for her.
Ok, this is getting out of hand. I know I'm her only child. I know I have somewhat of an obligation to take care of her. I know it's my "duty". I also know that I'm learning to live with Lupus, I'm trying help my daughter put her life back together, I'm teaching my husband to be self sufficient, I'm looking for a job, I'm working on building an inventory so I can open an Etsy shop and maybe, just MAYBE be able to do a craft show next spring. I know that I'm HOME more than I'm not. That will change when I have a paying job. For now, while I'm "home", I'm getting as much done as possible like getting the house deep cleaned, like building an inventory, like taking care of myself ( what a concept eh?) I'm not sitting around all day waiting for her to descend upon me burying me with paperwork to sort out because she'd rather not be bothered by it.

I don't have the patience anymore. God forgive me, but I do NOT have the patience. Not when she refuses to listen to me and take my advice. Not when she refuses to take any responsibility whatsoever. Tomorrow I'm calling the Senior Citizen Center. Hopefully I can find someone, someone who has more experience than I have dealing with financial stuff that I can send her to and they can work with her. She won't give them grief like she does me. I can't hand her off to my husband. She doesn't like him. He has even less patience than I do. They'd kill each other and I'd hear much complaining from both of them until my head exploded. Nope, I've got to find someone to deal with this outside of the family.

Not enough Calgon in the world for this one...

tgal
07-26-2011, 02:41 PM
Family... gotta love em! I think the idea of calling the senior center is a fabulous one. It is a way of being a good daughter by making sure this issue gets handled but not having to take it on yourself. I don't think you could have come up with anything better!

n.mac
07-26-2011, 03:15 PM
Whats an ETSY ?

You can pick your friends but unfortunatly we are sometimes stuck with family.

Hey wait! Maybe I'm the family someone else is stuck with. lol.....I think.

Manderson
07-26-2011, 03:25 PM
I know the Senior Centers around the Chicagoland area have tax people and financial people who donate their time and talent. Hopefully, you'll be able to find someone for your mom.

tgal
07-26-2011, 03:33 PM
Whats an ETSY ?

You can pick your friends but unfortunatly we are sometimes stuck with family.

Hey wait! Maybe I'm the family someone else is stuck with. lol.....I think.

LOL I LOVED the last line

lovedbyHim
07-26-2011, 05:21 PM
Whats an ETSY ?

You can pick your friends but unfortunatly we are sometimes stuck with family.

Hey wait! Maybe I'm the family someone else is stuck with. lol.....I think.


Maybe this is why my kids all live so far from me! Omgosh! Food for thought...hmmm....

ruziska
07-26-2011, 06:10 PM
Definition for etsy:
Etsy is a social commerce website focused on handmade or vintage items as well as art and craft supplies. These items cover a wide range including art, photography, clothing, jewelry, edibles, bath & beauty products, quilts, knick-knacks and toys. .... More
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etsy Source
Wikipedia - Dictionary.com - Answers.com

ruziska
07-26-2011, 06:13 PM
I can almost guarantee she'll throw a fit when I "pass her off" to someone qualified to handle her finances. No doubt she'll accuse me of abandoning her, give me "the look" and generally give me grief. I'll just have to take a couple extra pain pills to kill the headache she'll give me and move on.

steve.b
07-26-2011, 09:00 PM
Tomorrow I'm calling the Senior Citizen Center. ...

great lateral thinking.

magistramarla
07-26-2011, 09:04 PM
Rita,
I feel for you. "passing her off" to the senior center is a good idea. Mine was that way - I could tell her something over and over, and she would talk back to me and never believe me. However, if a third party "expert" told her the same thing, it just had to be right! I hope that you can find her an "expert".
Tammy,
It works the other way, too. There's a reason that we live in a different state than any of our kids!
Hugs,
Marla