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giggle
07-13-2011, 02:14 PM
I am FREAKING OUT!

Parts of me... ok well the majority of me... has a firm belief I can work until I drop dead... that while I am still conscious, I am able to participate in the work force.
Unfortunately... or perhaps... fortunately... my boss and probably every boss around disagrees. So my boss suggested I apply for disability, so today, thats what I am doing.

I feel terrible, I feel like I shouldn't be applying for disability... I can still walk and breathe and for now drive. I am going to be so embarrassed walking into that doctors office this morning and putting down papers for her to fill out for my disability support!!

I may have difficulty hearing people, trouble writing, shiver all day long in the office, find it impossible to sit all day long or do the repetitive actions required of my job.... but in my mind, I can still at least try! However, my boss does not want to continue to let me try. And if he wont employ me, who will?

I need lots of fingers crossed back here for me... If I dont get this... we will be so screwed. :(

lovedbyHim
07-13-2011, 03:16 PM
Hi giggle, I hope and pray it goes fast for you. I think we tell ourselves we can do it for so long, we start to beat ourselves in to the ground. In PA I have helped several clients apply and tip the scale to win as I write all they can't do in my program. There is a very long form to fill out by you and releases need to be signed to get all your records, etc. Are you doing it on your own or with a lawyer? In a former post Rob and Steve had some good advice I believe.

You earned the right to use this now giggle. Now you have to remind me of this when I can't work anymore (wink).

Elo
07-13-2011, 03:28 PM
I'm pulling for you! If it's that uncomfortable for you to work, then you shouldn't be working. You shouldn't have to try that hard. I hope you get it - fingers crossed!

tgal
07-13-2011, 03:29 PM
Oh Honey I understand completely! A couple of years ago I was in the same place. As long as my eyes openend I need to be at work. It was very hard on me physically and mentally but I didn't want to be one of those people that lived off of the government and that didn't do my share. A major seizure in the middle of my office made the decision for me because I was not allowed to come back until I was released for work and that hasn't happened yet! In the state you have to not be working in order to apply for disability so it was a difficult year however it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I am going to tell you want was told to me. Disability is for people like you. Yes, there are people that abuse our systems but it was made for people that have worked in their adult like and can't anymore. No guilt allowed because it will make you feel worse. Do what you need to do to take care of your body and right now disability is it. There is a point where we can't do anything else and I think your boss is telling you that you are there. You have a great boss

giggle
07-13-2011, 06:58 PM
My doctor wont do it. She said she strongly disagrees with the whole concept of disability payments. She said people should be working regardless. She suggested I change jobs to something more suitable. I told her thats what I wanted to do but 1. I have to retrain and to do that, I need money to pay the bills in the mean time. 2. working for someone else isnt an option, the same thing will happen.
She doesn't get it... because her and her doctor husband make in an hour what I make in a whole day. They may be annoyed that their tax goes towards paying the bills for people less fortunate... but they have never had to walk a mile in these peoples shoes... do they think its fun or easy having to feed your little one baked beans for the week because there just isnt enough money to pay for food.
I am so beside myself at the moment, cant stop crying. I dont know what to do now, literally. My boss is just going to decrease my hours until I have no hours. Or demand that I somehow just not be sick anymore. And when I have zero income anymore... I dont know how we will pay the rent. If we cant pay the rent, then what happens?

I hate what ever is wrong with me, I HATE IT SO MUCH.

ritzbit
07-13-2011, 07:11 PM
I cant imagine what your going through but what I wanted to say is keep fighting and dont give up. In the end it will all work out, things always do even its not the way we thought they would.

tgal
07-13-2011, 08:12 PM
My doctor wont do it. She said she strongly disagrees with the whole concept of disability payments. She said people should be working regardless. She suggested I change jobs to something more suitable. I told her thats what I wanted to do but 1. I have to retrain and to do that, I need money to pay the bills in the mean time. 2. working for someone else isnt an option, the same thing will happen.
She doesn't get it... because her and her doctor husband make in an hour what I make in a whole day. They may be annoyed that their tax goes towards paying the bills for people less fortunate... but they have never had to walk a mile in these peoples shoes... do they think its fun or easy having to feed your little one baked beans for the week because there just isnt enough money to pay for food.
I am so beside myself at the moment, cant stop crying. I dont know what to do now, literally. My boss is just going to decrease my hours until I have no hours. Or demand that I somehow just not be sick anymore. And when I have zero income anymore... I dont know how we will pay the rent. If we cant pay the rent, then what happens?

I hate what ever is wrong with me, I HATE IT SO MUCH.

I really can feel what you are saying because it is my story. The states are different then where you are. You can't get disability payments until you have not been working for at least 6 months and it takes more than a year to get them. My daughter and I lived on 300 dollars a months for a year. So many things I thought were "needed" we got rid of and were able to make it but the fear, the fear that you are having right now, caused physical pain and emotional stress. My heart really does go out to you and if you ever need to talk feel free to PM. What you are going through is made much easier when you are not alone. I will keep you in my thoughts

steve.b
07-13-2011, 08:59 PM
sorry the doctor is so unforgiving.

i had the same issues.

get a letter from your boss, describing your work related issues.
get hold of copies of your scripts, to show what medication you need.
talk to any other medical staff you see.
(i know you are not seeing a rhuemy)

go to a new doctor.
talk about your issue, and the fact the last doctor does not support your request.

tallk to the new doctor about medical benifits.
it is a start until the disability is sorted out.

giggle
07-13-2011, 09:56 PM
Happily, I had my psych appointment right after my doctor refusing help to get disability. My psych was outraged. So was my partner.
My psych said she would gladly write up a referrence for me as she thinks I SHOULD be on disability and its just plain cruel to insist I just 'change career' like that is even possible. I made a follow up appointment with my GP for after my rheumy appointments. My partner insisted he go with me because he wants to give the doc a piece of his mind. The psych also suggested that I ask the rheumy to fill out the necessary paperwork and forget about my GP doing the paperwork. But she also said she can talk to her and perhaps after I see these specialists, she will come around.

Anyway... my psych made me feel a tonne better. I think my GP is just one of those people that think everyone should be working all the time no matter what. I dont think she even realises that its hard enough for able bodied people to get work out there.

Anyway, I guess the battle isnt over yet : (

giggle
07-15-2011, 07:15 PM
I told my boss... he was really cranky. His stupid blokey response "smash 'em" LOL
Anyway... the boss was rather hoping I would get it. He said just find someone else. Im just hoping the specialist will help.