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panda_lupo
07-07-2011, 09:48 PM
My fun adventures with my Ruhmey and GP Rant......

First today I woke up and my fingers were sore, I couldnít put a bra on so I wore my bikini top ha-ha better than nothing right. Ok so first appointment was with my Ruhmy, I told everything from my work stress, to my going to the gym 3x a week to the vertigo to not sleeping. Of course when i was talking about work i got all emotional and tears just kept coming! Well he said he can read between the lines and tell Iím DEPRESSED!!! (At this point am like WTF mate?) And he gave me a prescription for antidepressants.
Next I went to see my GP (family doctor) and we went over my blood tests results and I told him what my Ruhmy said and of course the tears came out and he asked me all the questions about depression (sex drive, suicide, homicidal and hopelessness) after all that he came to conclusion that Iím not depressed but I am (confused so am I) but then he said its seems my job is a huge source of my stress. He said I 3 outcomes and those 3 are: 1) quit my job, 2) use the EAP (Employee Assistant Plan- talk therapy) 3) Try the anti depressants.

So I leave and go see my mother where I have total breakdown of what has occurred today and honestly I thought about it and thought about it and Ii canít see it. I go out with my friends, I go to the gym! I laugh and play and goof off! I enjoy life! Yes I have my bad days but doesnít everyone??
So what to do now! My GP (family doctor) wants to see me back into 2 weeks and I figure that I will take advantage of option 2- talk therapy! And see how that goes and then go see him.
To be honest Today was the first day where I felt depressed, caught off the world because that stupid word.

tgal
07-07-2011, 10:12 PM
Oh honey I could have written this post when I first started going to the doctor! Every time I walked in I started to cry like a baby and they instantly thought I was depressed. Thinking about it after I realized they were right. I was depressed. One of the things this disease does is mess with the chemicals in your brain on top of the stress of being ill.. so yea, I was depressed but I had a right to be! I balked at the anti depressants at first but eventually I agreed to go on some temporarily. It was one of the best things I did. It did NOT mean that I stopped going to the doctors or making them FIND OUT what was wrong with me but it did allow me to settle down a bit.
I had to get to the point where I didn't see depression/anxiety as a weakness. I am willing to take pills for all of the other things that Lupus does to me so why have an issue with this one? While I am NOT saying if you have depression or not what I am saying is to think it through really hard and if that is one of the things you need then get it without feeling bad about yourself.

Now, as for the doctors... on that too I can relate! Being dismissed is one of the worst things to go through. All I can say is keep fighting! Make them listen. Keep copies of any blood work. Do their job for them! Keep bugging them until they hear you. They work for you and if they don't listen then fire them and find another!

Remember that we are here for you!

steve.b
07-07-2011, 10:42 PM
i take depression medication.
my brain does not function properly without it.

i am not in a gloomy depressed state.
my brain is not functioning properly.

it is medication nothing more nothing less.

Saysusie
07-07-2011, 11:23 PM
I have always advocated that for us, it is just as important that we care for our emotional health as it is that we care for our physical health. There are symptoms of this illness that require us to take medications to alleviate those symptoms or to prevent them from worsening.

I found this information at the LFA website:
Depression is a very real symptom of any disease that affects the brain. SLE is a disease that can affect the brain. Additionally, we all can attest to the fact that Lupus does impact our lives on emotional levels, not just physical levels. So, here again, depression is very common amongst us for more than one reason. We rightfully feel depressed or anxious primarily because of changes in our physical appearance - Because of the effect of lupus on the way we feel physically (especially in terms of joint and muscle pain). Obviously, these experiences can put quite a damper on your self-esteem and your quality of life.
One of the things that we often do here at WHL in order to help one another is to provide each other with suggestions on how we can try to take some control of our health and, subsequently, our lives. You may find that depression and anxiety correlate directly with the amount of control that you feel that you have over your life and your health.

Please know that itís O.K. to feel sad or angry, but don't give up completely; take note of the big and little things that are going right?

Some things that you can do:
"What can you do or think about that brings you joy? What does define you? Be sure to eat as well as you can, exercise when and how you can. Get enough sleep! Be sure to keep your medical appointments and take your medication as prescribed. These are ways you can help your body, ways you can be in control.
And donít be afraid to ask for emotional help! This is especially important if you feel that you are feeling depressed and anxious over long periods of time.
Finally, donít give up. Donít let lupus define who you are ó no matter what."


Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

lovedbyHim
07-08-2011, 01:07 AM
Omgosh I could have written this thread too! I have been diagnosed 5 yrs and never could or would accept meds for depression, not even when I was having severe delusion features.

I think I love your PCP. To take the time to talk it through was great. I have used my EAP for counseling and it helped but still the stress of my job and the daily battle with this disease was more than I could take and I am now on antidepression meds. Here is what I discovered. I don't seem to feel so overwhelmed, my pain is less, muscle spasms are less severe, I cry less and I laugh more. Here is the one I like the most. I EAT LESS!

If you try it for 6 weeks and decide It's not for you then you can go off it slowly and just stay with what you feel is best. You are not a "nut case" because of this. I dreaded it for years & here I am now on it.

Good luck Honey. Think it through & ultimately do what works for you. Hugs Tammy

ruziska
07-08-2011, 06:31 AM
Add me to the "it could have been written by me" list. When I first starting seeing my GP she kept pushing antidepressants. I told her I didn't need antidepressants, I needed sleep and a break from the pain! I get a good night's sleep and I'd be a very happy camper. Antidepressants are a bandaid, they don't deal with what is causing the depression in the first place, they just make you not care. I'm referring to these particular situations. I realize, in many cases, antidepressants are a good thing but that's another topic. We lupies need a break from lupus. We need a support system (WHL!), we need understanding doctors. We don't need yet another pill. We aren't depressed- we are frustrated and angry but they don't make a pill for that.

chikititalinda
07-08-2011, 07:47 AM
Oh I can totally relate. Like you everytime I talked to any of my eight doctors about my symptoms, I would also cry. Most of them tried to give me anti-depressants and I would reject the idea thinking I've always been so strong and been able to manage every thing so well. Thinking, does this make me a weak person? Fortunately a few months ago I went to a pain management Dr. who suggested anti-depressants to manage the symptoms of my Fibro, but none the less they are anti-depressants. Reluctantly I tried them and realized that although Im not depressed to the point where I am suicidal I am really "sadened' by everything thats going on with me. These little pills, although they are not magic, have helped me deal with all the different emotions I go through. They have helped me out with all my anger, fears, and yes the pain. You should think about it, and at least give them a try, it doesnt' make you a weak person or any less. On the contrary it may give you the strengh to deal better emotionally. Hugs, Mari.

lacey50
07-08-2011, 02:00 PM
If the EAP does not help, consider option 3. Like the others have said, anti-depressants help in many ways. Just because you are given an anti-depressant does not mean you are crazy or going to kill yourself, it just means the brain is not working as it should. I was given zoloft several years ago because my doctors felt I was having anxiety attacks and depression. I didn't think so, but I know that since being on it I do not cry over every little thing and I feel much better about life in general. My husband said he could not believe the difference in my moods and he hopes I never come off it, I think he's afraid of the possible change that could result. This is just what works for me. I hope that the EAP works for you and you can handle things without having to add another pill. Best of Luck and {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

panda_lupo
07-08-2011, 05:57 PM
Thank you WHL!!! you have given me a lot to think about and I'm happy to have you guys! You gave me a different outlook on how to look at this better than my two doctors!

I will give thought and let you guys know what I choose to do

thank you!!!!

Nat
07-09-2011, 07:08 AM
I feel like antidepressants are prescribed all to readily these days. While its clear that a lot of people require them and do benefit from them I think some doctors prescribe them before trying anything else. I remember the days when I was first diagnosed when all I did was cry because of the pain and a number of people (family, friends) who came to visit me kept asking my parents and boyfriend if I was slipping into a depressive episode because I cried every time I tried to move. I remember crying when I went to the doctors once because I was in a wheelchair and he told me the plaquenil might take about 3-4 months to work. I'm so glad he knew me well enough to realise the crying was a result of frustration and pain and not because I was generally depressed. But in saying all of this, if you've tried other things that haven't seemed to work then under the direction of your doctor, antidepressants might be your most helpful path.

Kimberlee
07-14-2011, 10:18 AM
Thanks to all for this useful discussion on depression. I have a question to add:

Saysusie mentioned that depression is a symptom of any disease that effects the brain. I've been blessed on my journey with lupus so far to have many many good days with relatively few symptoms. However, I can always tell a flare is starting because I begin to feel depressed. The depression comes before any of the physical symptoms - at least a week before I start noticing increased pain. Is this the case for anyone else? Could it be the disease activity causing the depression, not the disease symptoms causing the depression?

While my physical symptoms can be tough, I've always been able to keep my positive attitude - but the emotional symptoms are what make me feel completely out of control. I'm currently going through a depressed period, and I'm so tired of it - I'm stressed about school and work, but no stress out of the ordinary that should cause depression in my life. I don't understand why I feel sad all the time and frankly, I'd love to blame it on lupus messing with chemicals in my body and brain. Any thoughts?

lovedbyHim
07-14-2011, 10:30 AM
Kimberlee I can honestly say that it varies for me. I sometimes feel like I have the flu first and then as the week goes by it wears me down and i get discouraged and depressed. Sometimes I will feel low in mood, tired and last year in the winter I even experienced a worsening of symptoms, hearing things and mild paranoid thinking. I too felt that that was worse than anything I had experienced before. The anxiety and fear was horrible. Bless you dear. I am finally on an anti-depression med and it helps me a lot.

tgal
07-14-2011, 11:24 AM
I can tell you that, for me, it is the disease causing it and not my reaction to it. I have been diagnosed with CNS involvement and this disease causes all kind of weird things to go on in my head. I am sure that for some people the depression comes only from outword things like being ill, finances etc but for many of us it is just another symptom of this disease

giggle
07-14-2011, 03:11 PM
I feel that doctors put way too much down to depression. Of course you are sad that you have an irritating and limiting condition that no one else seems to understand including your stupid doctors! I cry nearly every single time i go to the doctor LOL I dont cry at home or at work... I cry at the doctors because I have to talk about all the horrible things happening to me and of course, it makes me fricken sad! So my GP sent me off to a psychologist. I love it though, she didnt medicate me but I get to have a talk and a cry when its needed for a whole hour... and its paid by the government. Because she is actually willing to listen to my woes, she is the only person I know who understands exactly how hard my life is and is supporting me for disability.

I would definitely recommend seeing a psych or counselor. Not only will it help you get stuff of your chest that people around you never seem to want to hear, but if the time ever comes that you need to try for disability they will indeed be a huge help in the process.

Antidepressants have their own problems. Some people become dependent on them. They do cause side effects. If you aren't actually depressed, I think it would be silly to take them.

Kimberlee
07-14-2011, 03:31 PM
Thanks to everyone for replying. I'm amazed at the support of this group - 3 replies in 6 hours? It's so good to know someone else out there is going through the same thing - and good to know that it can be a symptom, not a reaction! I'm definitely not at the point where I need anti-depressants. I would only take them if the depression confined me to the house and really interfered with life. In those cases I find them to be justified. However, just like getting healthier decreases pain and other symptoms, I think that getting healthier will make me feel happier.I will consider seeing a counselor if things don't improve soon. I already feel better just knowing that it can be the lupus. Thanks, everyone.

steve.b
07-14-2011, 07:17 PM
hi kimberlee,
lupus effects different people in different ways.
what happens to one person, does not always happen to another.

for me lupus is mainly effecting my blood.
therefore it effects anything that has blood flowing through it.

i get almost constant headaches.
my brain does not function properly.
i take depression medication, not because i am depressed.....
but because my brain cannot function in that area.

everyhone is different,
it is very possible - for you - that lupus is causing the effect of depression.

panda_lupo
07-14-2011, 08:24 PM
Hi Kimberlee,

I would definitely think long and hard about this! As I started this tread and in the beginning I was so upset that my doctor told me I was a depressed that I didn't take in the other side that my brain may not be functioning properly. My personal trainer takes anti-depressants cause she has a condition with her PMS problems and the pills help with her mood swings. Being depressed doesn't mean your confined to your house! but maybe on how you process things and take things as they come.

I realized my doctor didnt phase it well when he brought the subject up and next time I go back and see him, I'm going to let him know that I didnt apprecaite being passed along.

I'm going to talk to a Psych about what's going on with me and I think I will give the pills a try if talking doesn't help me.

=) Good luck love

Nonna
07-15-2011, 02:47 AM
Thanks for starting this thread, and thanks to all who responded. I always forget about depression.

panda_lupo
08-16-2011, 03:42 PM
My fun adventures with my Ruhmey and GP Rant......

First today I woke up and my fingers were sore, I couldnít put a bra on so I wore my bikini top ha-ha better than nothing right. Ok so first appointment was with my Ruhmy, I told everything from my work stress, to my going to the gym 3x a week to the vertigo to not sleeping. Of course when i was talking about work i got all emotional and tears just kept coming! Well he said he can read between the lines and tell Iím DEPRESSED!!! (At this point am like WTF mate?) And he gave me a prescription for antidepressants.
Next I went to see my GP (family doctor) and we went over my blood tests results and I told him what my Ruhmy said and of course the tears came out and he asked me all the questions about depression (sex drive, suicide, homicidal and hopelessness) after all that he came to conclusion that Iím not depressed but I am (confused so am I) but then he said its seems my job is a huge source of my stress. He said I 3 outcomes and those 3 are: 1) quit my job, 2) use the EAP (Employee Assistant Plan- talk therapy) 3) Try the anti depressants.

So I leave and go see my mother where I have total breakdown of what has occurred today and honestly I thought about it and thought about it and Ii canít see it. I go out with my friends, I go to the gym! I laugh and play and goof off! I enjoy life! Yes I have my bad days but doesnít everyone??
So what to do now! My GP (family doctor) wants to see me back into 2 weeks and I figure that I will take advantage of option 2- talk therapy! And see how that goes and then go see him.
To be honest Today was the first day where I felt depressed, caught off the world because that stupid word.

Hey Guys,

So option 2 isnt really working out for me as I feel more angry, confused and lost. I have another appointment tomorrow with my talk therapy its been only 2 sessions so far so I'm not giving up on it. But I have dedcided that I'm going to give option 3 a go and start the Anti- depressants.

A couple nights a go I had a worst pain attack i have felt ever in the middle of the night where it felt like my arm was on fire/ shot or stabbed from the shoulder blade down. I woke up screaming in pain and disoriented to the point where I think I sat in my tub for hours with hot water running over me in my pjs no less. I havent been able to shake that feeling of being scared.

Hence why I have opted to start Option 3! I want to be back to my old self and I'm determined to try

Thanks for listening
=)

steve.b
08-16-2011, 08:38 PM
( ( ( h u g s ) ) )

lovedbyHim
08-17-2011, 12:31 AM
Hi Panda I'm sorry you are having such a hard time Hun. I must tell you I am doing well on the cymbalta they recently gave me. My sadness and anxiety has lifted and pain is much more manageable. Boy I held off on trying that for years. Pride kept me from taking it, until I read a lot about depression and pain. Talk therapy is excellent, so is going to the woods (grin). Wanna join me? (((HUGS)))

Elo
08-17-2011, 06:52 PM
:(
That must have been really scary. Honestly, that's what got me taking my anti-depressants. First, I was depressed because I was sick all the time and couldn't do anything, and didn't know what was wrong... but what really pushed me to get them, was that I would have sudden attacks of nausea and pain in the middle of the night (sort of like you, but nowhere near as bad), and I would just get so...terrified. And absolutely overwhelmed. And I would panic. Literally - panic attacks. So my doc put me on a low dose of celexa, which is a mild anti-depressant and umm...that..thing that... is like... for nerves, but um... i can't remember what its called but it sounds better than an antidepressant... um...
Wait.
Hang on. Let me look it up.

ANTI-ANXIETY!!!
YEAH!!!
Thank youuu, google.
Anyways, sorry about that. I really didn't want to take it at first, and was very averse to the thought of it, but i'm really thankful i'm on it now, because i have no sideeffects, and i know that without it, i would probably be drowning even worse than I am now. So. Yeah. Um, my point is, I hope it works for you!

I'm so sorry how messed up this reply is, please don't mind me and my brain fog.

My fingers are crossed for you!

panda_lupo
08-18-2011, 10:02 PM
Hi Panda I'm sorry you are having such a hard time Hun. I must tell you I am doing well on the cymbalta they recently gave me. My sadness and anxiety has lifted and pain is much more manageable. Boy I held off on trying that for years. Pride kept me from taking it, until I read a lot about depression and pain. Talk therapy is excellent, so is going to the woods (grin). Wanna join me? (((HUGS)))

haha oh love I would love to join you =)

Well First pill tonight wish me luck!!!

panda_lupo
08-18-2011, 10:09 PM
:(
That must have been really scary. Honestly, that's what got me taking my anti-depressants. First, I was depressed because I was sick all the time and couldn't do anything, and didn't know what was wrong... but what really pushed me to get them, was that I would have sudden attacks of nausea and pain in the middle of the night (sort of like you, but nowhere near as bad), and I would just get so...terrified. And absolutely overwhelmed. And I would panic. Literally - panic attacks. So my doc put me on a low dose of celexa, which is a mild anti-depressant and umm...that..thing that... is like... for nerves, but um... i can't remember what its called but it sounds better than an antidepressant... um...
Wait.
Hang on. Let me look it up.

ANTI-ANXIETY!!!
YEAH!!!
Thank youuu, google.
Anyways, sorry about that. I really didn't want to take it at first, and was very averse to the thought of it, but i'm really thankful i'm on it now, because i have no sideeffects, and i know that without it, i would probably be drowning even worse than I am now. So. Yeah. Um, my point is, I hope it works for you!

I'm so sorry how messed up this reply is, please don't mind me and my brain fog.

My fingers are crossed for you!

Thats what the doctor put me on, celexa, and thanks for your message it was quite entertaining