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View Full Version : How did you know when you had to stop working and go on disability?



lovedbyHim
06-28-2011, 02:53 AM
Well I am having a rough time imagining functioning like this for much longer in my work. I went back yesterday after sleeping most of 5 days. Last night I had chills and sweats all night long. I feel Hung over. Ugh!

How do you know when it's time to hang it up? I have to drive for about 5 hrs total today and see 3 severely mentally ill folks who are in rough situations. I'm running on empty already.

I should probably take another week off but my clients are then left uncovered due to low staff issues.

Please will you tell me when you knew it was time for you? Thanks so much.

Tammy

steve.b
06-28-2011, 03:14 AM
for me, as each type of job got too hard, i found another easier, less paid one.
when i found i was driving dangerously, brain cognative problems, i gave up working.
by then i had several other health related issues, it was easy to go onto disability pension.

i was working as a fitter in the mines when diagnosed.
left that and worked in a supermarket.
left that and worked as a truck / courier driver.

tgal
06-28-2011, 03:35 AM
You and I just had this talk in chat and the basic thing I said is that, when the time comes, you either make the decision or the disease makes it for you. Steve's posts basically said the same thing. For me it was a major seizure in the office and us figuring out that my memory could put my company in danger. It isn't easy. We think about the money and the insurance and all the "I can't" but there hits a point that continuing to work isn't really an option. My good days now are not good enough for me to work like I did and we won't even discuss bad days!

It takes a long time but I have found that mmost of the time when you start asking that question the time has come

BonusMom
06-28-2011, 05:25 AM
Great question! I think many of us struggle with this issue.

rob
06-28-2011, 07:22 AM
I usually spent 2 days of my week out of the office and at the test fire range doing accuracy/proof testing on the rifles I used to manufacture. One day I touched off a .50 cal without having put in my earplugs and the earmuff hearing protectors I wore over the plugs for added protection. I just about blew my eardrums out. Two days later, I came back to the shop and was locking up the weapons we tested that day only to find that I left a live round in the chamber of one of them. In decades of handling firearms, I had never done this, not even once.

The first screw up was bad (if only for me). But the second screw up was something I would fire any employee for on the spot. When I became a safety hazard to others, I knew it was time to pack it in.

It wasn't the physical symptoms that ended my career, it was brainfog. There were many more smaller incidents that lead up to this, but the safety violations were the proverbial straw.

Rob

chikititalinda
06-28-2011, 08:16 AM
This is a great post. I too am thinking the same thing. Tammy I know exactly how you are feeling, I just told my coworkers I feel hungover today. I'm mentally and physically exhausted. Like you I think about my underpriviledged clients also. I also know that I can't make it on the 50% paycut I would take on dissability. Especially now that my husband lost his job and is unable to collect unemployement. This entire situation sucks for all of us!

lovedbyHim
06-28-2011, 09:00 AM
I am in tears as I read these replies. I am also home waiting for my rheumy to call. The chills, brain fog and two naps in before its even noon here, makes it impossible to get behind the wheel. It's 80 here and I have a sweater on. I have fallen asleep behind the wheel about 8 times in the past 2 months. I know that sounds horrible as I could harm others, but I desperately need the money as I am alone. I appreciate your honesty and forthright words.

Gizmo
06-28-2011, 09:27 AM
Oh, lovedbyHim, I wish there were a way to make this better for you. Is the drive to and from work the problem, or is it driving to see clients that gets you? If you can get to work safely, and handle a desk job, your employer should accommodate you. Unless it's a very small company, they have to, if you have documentation from your doctor. You probably have your health insurance through work, too...

There are healthcare jobs that you can do from home. I subscribe to flexjobs.com and they send me almost daily updates of jobs that are either part time or allow you to telecommute. A few of them are for people with degrees/experience in counseling and mental health. I am stuck because it's been so long since I worked that I essentially have no experience, but you should be golden. More and more insurance companies are hiring health coaches to work from home and they seem to be more interested in experience in counseling than in a nursing degree.

Peridot20_Gem
06-28-2011, 09:51 AM
Tammy i admire alot of member's on the site still trying their hardest to work besides the affects off Lupus but you'll know when you can't carry on no more whatever age you are because Lupus makes you completley worn out and just to move is to much.

I am sorry mate for how you've been lately, you need some good rest.

All my love Terry xxx

rob
06-28-2011, 11:08 AM
I am in tears as I read these replies. I am also home waiting for my rheumy to call. The chills, brain fog and two naps in before its even noon here, makes it impossible to get behind the wheel. It's 80 here and I have a sweater on. I have fallen asleep behind the wheel about 8 times in the past 2 months. I know that sounds horrible as I could harm others, but I desperately need the money as I am alone. I appreciate your honesty and forthright words.

Really, looking back, I feel somewhat fortunate that things happened the way they did. The consequences of accidentally putting an armor-piercing incendiary .50 cal round through the roof of my factory could have been bad, really bad. The thing would have come down somewhere, and in the middle of the city, it would have hit someone, or something. These things are designed to penetrate a hardened target and then explode once inside. A 25 dollar bullet can disable or even destroy a multi-million dollar enemy fighter plane or SCUD missile before it even gets off the ground. That's good medicine if you're SCUD hunting in Southern Iraq circa 1990-91. Not so good if you're in the Phoenix suburbs circa 2004.

My mistake made my decision to pack it in much easier. I made the decision to quit with no doubt or question that it was not the right one. I still do not doubt my decision one bit, even seven years down the road. I really hated it, but it had to be done.

Just be honest and realistic with yourself Tammy. The right choice will come.

Rob

debbie-b
06-28-2011, 12:38 PM
I have read all the posts and all are powerful, since I am in the same boat.
I think Mari's reply hit home for me, " either you will make the decision or the disease will make it for you."
It is not easy to make that decision, because we all need the money and the health insurance.
So I think for me, I will have to wait for the disease to make up my mind for me.
As it is now, my disease is saying, " hey stupid, what are you waiting for?"

Debbie

lovedbyHim
06-28-2011, 01:19 PM
Rob, thank you again for your honesty and I am praying. My rheumy wrote me a note to have off for the rest of this week, so I can sleep. Being checked for uti as well. I have a good man in my life who asked me to marry him. He wants to put me on his insurance plan and we both work at the same place and have same insurance plan, so I could apply for disability. BUT WHO MARRIES FOR THIS REASON? I think I need to go to a monastery in seclusion to hear the answer to this one!

rob
06-28-2011, 01:41 PM
Rob, thank you again for your honesty and I am praying. My rheumy wrote me a note to have off for the rest of this week, so I can sleep. Being checked for uti as well. I have a good man in my life who asked me to marry him. He wants to put me on his insurance plan and we both work at the same place and have same insurance plan, so I could apply for disability. BUT WHO MARRIES FOR THIS REASON? I think I need to go to a monastery in seclusion to hear the answer to this one!

Well, I sure don't know the answer to that. But I think he'd be one heck of a lucky man if you said yes.

lovedbyHim
06-28-2011, 02:01 PM
That's what all my girlfriends say! Lol Thanks for the chuckle.

giggle
06-28-2011, 03:52 PM
Maaaan... I thought I replied to this : ( darn my brain fog.

I am in the same situation... I dont know when will be the right time to give it all in. Brain fog is already starting to affect my work, but I dont have anyone's lives in my hands : )
It will probably be the day I get in trouble far too much to make work worth while. I currently earn as much at work as I would on disability. Having said that, this thursday I go to centrelink to see how I go about getting disability.

wrightrs
06-28-2011, 04:17 PM
I had to quit working a long time ago. I was too lupie to work. I didn't know I had lupus then. I just could not keep going. I have not been able to get disability even though I can barely walk and use a cane and a power-chair now. I recently started a business on my own. But at times it gets to be to much too.

Peridot20_Gem
06-28-2011, 05:14 PM
Becky,

I think you actually hit it on the nail concerning working with your phrase (I was too lupie to work)...because when that stage hits you, you know your done for.

Bonita
06-28-2011, 06:19 PM
I was on dissability before i got diagnosised with lupus and polyomyositis from injuries at work and had 2 back surgeries now i am on regular social security and had to retire. Bonita

steve.b
06-28-2011, 07:11 PM
never let money be your guide.
when i worked it the mines, i was earning about $160,000 pa
on the pension, including my wifes and child benifits, we get about %50,000 pa.

if you are seriously asking the question, you probably already know the answer, it is just a hard thing to admit.

life was not easy when i first quit work. but i had to. and i am better for it now.
do not let work kill you. enjoy life while you can.

Gizmo
06-28-2011, 07:48 PM
He wants to put me on his insurance plan and we both work at the same place and have same insurance plan, so I could apply for disability. BUT WHO MARRIES FOR THIS REASON? I think I need to go to a monastery in seclusion to hear the answer to this one!

Good men don't come along every day. Can you see yourself rockin' on the front porch with him in 30 years? Many of our grandparents married for convenience and lived and loved well for 50+ years. IMHO deep respect, caring and friendship are the foundation of a good marriage - if that comes with health insurance, all the better!

steve.b
06-28-2011, 08:06 PM
- if that comes with health insurance, all the better!

there has to be some perks lol

lovedbyHim
06-28-2011, 09:07 PM
Here is the nice part, he's my best friend. He has been for years. Thank you all for your wise words. Steve you are right money isn't worth death. Gizmo, history does teach us much. I guess I don't trust my own judgements as of late. After sleeping a whole lot yesterday, I don't feel all muddy in the brain and my muscle spasms are less intense. How is that possible! You would think I was blasted with steroids. Sleep heals me so much.

Again thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, they are like precious gems to me. Did I mention he makes less money than me and is willing to take my financial burden on until I can get disability? That's a good man.

Well I will ponder all of this and maybe miraculously sleeping for these next few days plus weekend and holiday, this flair will lift and buy me some time to develope the paper trail. I read past posts on this. Very helpful!

Huggs...... to all of you!

lovedbyHim
06-28-2011, 09:11 PM
i love being a german shepherd and not a show poodle!

Gizmo
06-28-2011, 09:26 PM
i love being a german shepherd and not a show poodle!

I just graduated to show poodle and am pretty happy about it, thank you very much. Don't look down on us little people LOL

rob
06-28-2011, 09:53 PM
I just graduated to show poodle and am pretty happy about it, thank you very much. Don't look down on us little people LOL

It's pretty cool, Isn't it?

It makes me think back to my early days here, when I was just a lowly and humble Dung Beetle...

magistramarla
06-28-2011, 10:10 PM
Tammy,
I went through this in 2009. Leaving "my kids" and my teaching job was a very difficult decision. I had built that Latin program from the ground up and I felt very invested in those kids. It did get to the point where I felt like I was short-changing them, though. I was limping around on my rollator, teaching while seated on it, and often my voice was really, really bad due to the Spasmodic Dysphonia. I loved those babies, but I realized that they needed someone with more energy to carry on with them.

The AF helped me to decide by handing Jeff a scholarship and an offer to move us to Ca. It was a bit of a shock to go back to living on one income, but we've economized and we're living quite well. I do feel much better to not have the stress of grading and lesson plans. The best thing is being able to sleep late when I've had a rough night.
I hope that things work out with your sweetie and that your life becomes as stress-free as mine!
Hugs,
Marla

lovedbyHim
06-29-2011, 03:33 AM
Maria thank you.for you kind helpful words. You're a dear.

Rob and Gizmo I can't tell you how pleased I am to make it to Pit Bull! Gizmo, its the whole cute little fluffy FeFe thing that makes me nuts. My aunt raised those little yappers and dyed them pink. There is something seriously wrong there! I'm sorry I just can't be a FeFe. My gosh! Was I a dug beatle? I think I missed it!

tgal
06-29-2011, 08:25 AM
Maria thank you.for you kind helpful words. You're a dear.

Rob and Gizmo I can't tell you how pleased I am to make it to Pit Bull! Gizmo, its the whole cute little fluffy FeFe thing that makes me nuts. My aunt raised those little yappers and dyed them pink. There is something seriously wrong there! I'm sorry I just can't be a FeFe. My gosh! Was I a dug beatle? I think I missed it!

LOL I love you. Your posts always make me chuckle

lovedbyHim
06-29-2011, 09:33 AM
I love you too, but can you tell I was on the muscle relaxers when I wrote?

Marla I do know your name honestly! Sheesh!

Yours truly, Pit Bull! Yes...yes...yes!

BonusMom
06-29-2011, 01:08 PM
My job certainly isn't as important or a matter of life and death as Rob's, however, it does provide for the family. And with my identity tied to my career, or so it seems, I fear I would be lost without it. I have worked since I was 16 years old. I HAD an empty nest. I was just entertaining ideas for different hobbies that I could manage....even with brain fog. Then, we were blessed with my Bonus Daughter coming to live with us 100% of the time, so my focus is on my job and on the family, once again.

I'm going through a particularly bad spell of brain fog of late. I can't focus. I can't retain and I sure as heck am unable to learn anything new. My (dis)organization is at an all time high. It's taking longer to get the same tasks done.

I know it would be better, healthwise, if I could sleep later on those mornings that I didn't sleep well the night before. I'm sure it makes the brain fog worse and wonder if it contributes to the headaches.

I keep telling myself, just a few more years. I hope I can make it.

magistramarla
06-29-2011, 02:14 PM
Marla I do know your name honestly! Sheesh!

Yours truly, Pit Bull! Yes...yes...yes!

LOL, That's OK - it happens all the time. When my hubby first met me, he saw me sign my name and thought it was Maria. He was quoting West Side Story for a few days - "I just met a girl named Maria!"
It was a little difficult to set him straight.
Hugs,
Marla

Gizmo
06-29-2011, 03:53 PM
Maria thank you.for you kind helpful words. You're a dear.

Rob and Gizmo I can't tell you how pleased I am to make it to Pit Bull! Gizmo, its the whole cute little fluffy FeFe thing that makes me nuts. My aunt raised those little yappers and dyed them pink. There is something seriously wrong there! I'm sorry I just can't be a FeFe. My gosh! Was I a dug beatle? I think I missed it!

Well, we are anxiously awaiting our standard poodle puppy, Sprocket, who will belong to our daughter as of July 10th, so I am more than a little offended! LOL His coloring is like a German shepherd, so definitely no pink toenails or bows on this bad boy. We're training him to be a service dog because poodles are so SMART! :p No yapping from standards - he'll have a bark like a German Shepherd, too.

lovedbyHim
06-29-2011, 06:28 PM
Hey Maria... I mean Marla and Gizmo with the German shepherd FeFe dog, I am laughing hard here and I soooo need it today. Love ya bunches!

Peridot20_Gem
06-30-2011, 05:34 AM
Tammy,

You should be pleased now your a Bit bull...i was expecting staffs to come up.lol and just make that bloke of yours one happy man (nodding in disgust) oh i am laughing here mate at my comment.