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View Full Version : dealing with the ignorance of people!!



noonie_baybee
05-24-2011, 09:13 PM
This post was sparked from someone else's thread. I guess i just need to vent a little bit more. Im sure most people can relate to this post. But personally i have been struggling with being told that i was faking many of times mainly from my peers, and i thought it would get better the older i was but it got worse. When i have a flare and it gets hard for me to walk i use a wheelchair, and the students think just because i wasnt in a wheelchair the day before they assume im faking it because they assume i just dont feel like walking and i just want to be pushed around, but i actuallity i would give anything just to stand without pain. But people dont realize these things and how their words can affect you. Ive learned now to simply ingore ingorance but deep inside it still hurts that people could be soo cruel. Especially the people closest to you!! Ive lost many friends because of this but i guess they wereny really my friends in the first place. It angers me that people that have no idea of what I go through are quick to judge. What person would be crazy enough to fake an illness when there are plenty of people dying to get out of it. Ugh!!! ok im sorry just had to get that out. I feel better now.
And thank you guys for making me feel so welcomed here, finally somewhere where people understand me for me.

Gizmo
05-24-2011, 11:27 PM
My daughter walks on her own, uses crutches, a walker, a manual chair and a powerchair - depending on the circumstances and how she is feeling. I think people who haven't dealt with disabilities don't realize that getting around isn't a black or white issue. Maybe you can figure out some way to explain it to them in terms they can understand. For example, a person lives within walking distance of the store. Some days they don't need much, and they have alot of energy and so they walk to the store. Some days they need too much stuff and the burden would be too great to carry it all on foot, so they use their wheels (bike, car, whatever). Some days it is too treacherous to walk because of ice or rain, or they were up all night with a sick child and they are just too tired. Everyone adjusts their mode of transportation according to their needs on that day. They even adjust what they wear on their feet to meet the demands of the day. Choosing to use your chair or not really isn't any different than them choosing to drive on a bad day and ride their bike on a nice day.

I don't mean to make light of your situation, because I genuinely understand your hurt and frustration. There is a whole lot of ignorance out there and some just plain mean spirited people. In my humble opinion, there are also many people who simply have no experience with illness and disability. If you are able to respond to their judgements with humor, spiked with a kernel of something that makes them stop and reconsider, you just might make a few into allies.

noonie_baybee
05-25-2011, 08:25 AM
hmmmm woww, i never really thought of it that way before, thank you!! Ive jut never really known how to respond to ignorant comments without getting angry

rob
05-25-2011, 08:46 AM
hmmmm woww, i never really thought of it that way before, thank you!! Ive jut never really known how to respond to ignorant comments without getting angry

Hi Noonie,


I find that sometimes, getting angry is the best way to deal with the terminally ignorant. I guess some see me as somewhat of a dictator, because I "purged" my life of all those people who wanted to constantly demostrate their stupidity by making claims of me "faking it". I owe no apologies. I simply will not tolerate it, and I have no problem telling anyone, regardless of position or relation, to bleep-off if they want to engage in such activities.

Don't get me wrong, there are times for being tolerant, and times when you should turn the other cheek. But for me, those times are not when someone accuses me of being a liar in regards to the most precious and important thing I posess-my health.

Rob

noonie_baybee
05-25-2011, 09:09 AM
Rob,
I hear you! its not easy for me to turn the other cheek when it comes to something so precious to me(like you said) but i guess it wont hurt to try. Sometimes i just tolerate it simply because i dont feel like dealing with stupidity at the moment but there have been many of times that i just blow because i get sick of it.

tgal
05-25-2011, 09:34 AM
One of the most awesome things about this forum is that there are so many different views to see! Although I love the kindness displayed by so many I must admit that one of my favorite things about Rob is his "take no prisoners" attitude when it comes being mistreated! I think that is a line I need help with often. When am I being kind and when am I being walked on. This disease has made me be my best advocate (thank you Saysusie). While I know that there are times that I will be in pain and my brain doesn't work right I also know that I will be in control of my life and my attitude. I won't let the disease take that from me as well.

As for how I deal with those that don't believe me... I guess it depends on if I am flaring or not LOL (MY mood really suck then!)

ritzbit
05-25-2011, 09:39 AM
People you see everyday at school who are not your friends and you are not close to dont even matter. After you're out of school you'll never see them again, so who really cares. Im that "girl with the hat" and "girl on the elevator" and "girl who walks slow" and I could really careless. I graduate next week, tomorrow is my last school day, and all those people who have made rude comments over the past few years are people I dont care about. I'll never see them again. I owe no explainations for how I dress or get around during the day. If someone genuinely wants to know I explain things but other than that I say nothing. Ignore people and their ignorance, you owe no one an explaination for who you are and what you have to do to get around school.

rob
05-25-2011, 10:26 AM
People you see everyday at school who are not your friends and you are not close to dont even matter. After you're out of school you'll never see them again, so who really cares. Im that "girl with the hat" and "girl on the elevator" and "girl who walks slow" and I could really careless. I graduate next week, tomorrow is my last school day, and all those people who have made rude comments over the past few years are people I dont care about. I'll never see them again. I owe no explainations for how I dress or get around during the day. If someone genuinely wants to know I explain things but other than that I say nothing. Ignore people and their ignorance, you owe no one an explaination for who you are and what you have to do to get around school.

Hell yeah! That's the attitude Ritz!

rob
05-25-2011, 10:48 AM
One of the most awesome things about this forum is that there are so many different views to see! Although I love the kindness displayed by so many I must admit that one of my favorite things about Rob is his "take no prisoners" attitude when it comes being mistreated! I think that is a line I need help with often. When am I being kind and when am I being walked on. This disease has made me be my best advocate (thank you Saysusie). While I know that there are times that I will be in pain and my brain doesn't work right I also know that I will be in control of my life and my attitude. I won't let the disease take that from me as well.

As for how I deal with those that don't believe me... I guess it depends on if I am flaring or not LOL (MY mood really suck then!)


I was a pretty timid, pretty small kid, and I got my ass kicked and picked on all the time. There wasn't a damn thing I could do about it, as I was a total outsider with no friends. I had no adults who would help me either.

Fast forward a few years-I graduated from Army Basic, and then Armor School, and realized that I was now 6'1", 200lbs, and no longer that timid little kid. I told myself that I don't have to take any s**t from anyone anymore, and I promised myself to never allow anyone to throw abuse my way either physically, mentally, or verbally ever again.

I also promised myself that I would never just stand by and watch someone else be abused the way I was, and I never have. Like the line from my favorite song says in my signature below-

"It's not enough just to stand and stare"

Rob

noonie_baybee
05-25-2011, 11:36 AM
I need i love button lol!!!!!!!! I love all of these responses, yall are truly helping me here... I love it ritz you are the bomb.com lol

tgal
05-25-2011, 11:54 AM
I need i love button lol!!!!!!!! I love all of these responses, yall are truly helping me here... I love it ritz you are the bomb.com lol

I agree. Ritz is tha bomb!

lizbond36
05-25-2011, 01:19 PM
I have deal with this issue with doctors as well. I was label with Bipolar disorder among others :-( so sadly no doctor took my words to heart. I was crazy and this is why I suffer for 7 years. Then I have my family that has told me, I was lazy and I don't need a chair for the shower, crutches and my parking spot. My own mother told me I was making myself sick. I have heard it all and what was the saddness thing that could happen to me, was the last two years my husband was thinking I was going crazy. I thought I had one person beside me at all times. I was wrong, the reason why what he told me. One day I be on my back days later I be ok and move around, clean ETC. When I was DX in May 2 2011 he told me that he was deeply sorry for not trusting me. I have been where your at and so many have. I wish I have words of wisdom but I am still looking for that.
Hugs
Liz