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View Full Version : Totally had enough, more bad news it never ends



Peridot20_Gem
05-12-2011, 09:48 AM
Since monday i've been collasping and i ended up in my wheelchair then getting onto my crutches. Then the pain through my body which i've had a while, i had a scan for on saturday and besides that my right calf swelling again.
I phoned the Doctor's yesterday and they got me in for this morning as the Doctor needed to see me, it was'nt my ususal GP but a nice lady Doctor who told me i had no Gallstones but there was a black patch by my liver, she said the left side of your liver as got a TUMOUR on it and it's absorbing blood well for the patch to be black instead of dark (These was the results given).
She asked me if a nerve had been damaged in my body on the left side, i said i have'nt got a clue but the only thing i could think of is when i was sterilized and done through the navel and down below. So because of the pain i'm in plus the Tumour i'm being refered to a Gastro specialist now.

Then she phoned the hospital and got me booked in on an emergencey appointment for a scan, there's no clotting re-occured in my leg but they can't understand what's causing the calf to swell and give so much pain off. I could only think it might be the sjogren's getting more severe and that's why i collasped to the floor.

I came in and started crying with shock, i've really got to the end of fighting this Lupus as each day something new comes along besides the added symptoms ontop.

I'm 42 and feel 90 and feel so sorry for we all with this lot but my heart goes out to all our YOUNG member's who's lifes are surposed to be starting with joyous times ahead not suffering.

Love you all dearly xxxxxxxxxx

SandyR
05-12-2011, 10:52 AM
(((BIG GIANT gentle HUG))) I'm sorry to hear that you got some bad news. I know that it was upsetting. Cry away. I'll sit here with you and hold your hand awhile and I'm sure very soon some more people are going to come along to sit with you too. You are not alone. You are in my thoughts and prayers and until you know whether this tumor is benign or malignent, let's just focus our thoughts on what we do know and not what could be. Like Mari says, no point in borrow troubles yet. Now, let's have a good cry for this new bad news and then wipe our eyes until we know what you're facing. (((HUGS)))

rob
05-12-2011, 11:31 AM
I'm sorry Terri. Sometimes it seems like the complications and problems will never end. You got sucker punched today, and I know it hurts. Do you have any family or friends around that you can lean on for a little moral support? Sometimes I want to just give up too, but we have to hang in there and keep on fighting and living. I hope these new problems turn out to be just minor bumps in the road.

Rob

chikititalinda
05-12-2011, 11:34 AM
Oh Terri I'm sorry you are suffering this way. I wish you the BEST, sending good vibes your way.

Peridot20_Gem
05-12-2011, 12:18 PM
(((BIG GIANT gentle HUG))) I'm sorry to hear that you got some bad news. I know that it was upsetting. Cry away. I'll sit here with you and hold your hand awhile and I'm sure very soon some more people are going to come along to sit with you too. You are not alone. You are in my thoughts and prayers and until you know whether this tumor is benign or malignent, let's just focus our thoughts on what we do know and not what could be. Like Mari says, no point in borrow troubles yet. Now, let's have a good cry for this new bad news and then wipe our eyes until we know what you're facing. (((HUGS)))Hi Sandy,
HUGS to you also mate, i just feel in myself there's not a week or a month go by when bang i've been hit again.

Thanks for all your love and support mate, my concentration is totally up the wall still trying to get my head around it and tomorrow i'm back at the doctor's being tested for OCPD as the doctor today said my breathing is bad.

All my love to you sandy xxxxx

Peridot20_Gem
05-12-2011, 12:28 PM
I'm sorry Terri. Sometimes it seems like the complications and problems will never end. You got sucker punched today, and I know it hurts. Do you have any family or friends around that you can lean on for a little moral support? Sometimes I want to just give up too, but we have to hang in there and keep on fighting and living. I hope these new problems turn out to be just minor bumps in the road.

RobHi Rob, your right in what your say it does seem like the complications will never end and i've totally had enough, i don't think i'm coping to good at the moment because my depression is back and kicked in well besides and it's hard pulling myself out of that as well.

Rob i just have my husband mate and he's been really sympathetic about it and as asked me not to worry till i see the specialist, my one sister lives in spain never hear from her and my other sister knows about this and i used to ring regular but it was always me doing the ringing and i've not heard off her in 4mths easily, the saying's always been bloods thicker than water and i don't believe it no way (more like selfishness)

Well i just hope they are minor because all i keep reflecting on his my dad dying with cancer of the liver and lungs but you know as much as me human mentally can only take so much.

Takecare yourself Rob x

Peridot20_Gem
05-12-2011, 12:30 PM
Oh Terri I'm sorry you are suffering this way. I wish you the BEST, sending good vibes your way.

Thanks mate but it is hard for any of us not to worry when we're hit with such things but the support from my large family helps me especially when i need to chat.

Love to you as always xxx

tgal
05-12-2011, 02:25 PM
Oh Terrie I am so very sorry! I wish I could be there and hug you myself but all I can do is be here if you need to talk. I so hate this disease (all AI diseases actually). Some days it just seem like it is more then we can handle. The good news is that I know you and I know that you are strong and will get through this. It won't be easy but we will be here for you. Let yourself cry, yell and vent. Try to get it all out so it doesn't it you up.

I am here if you need anything

lizbond36
05-12-2011, 04:14 PM
Terri I am so sorry to hear this bad news, damn lupus. I wish I was there to comfort you like you have for me. I keep you in my thoughts my dear friend.
BIG HUGS BIG HUGS BIG HUGS
Liz

Peridot20_Gem
05-12-2011, 04:20 PM
Oh Terrie I am so very sorry! I wish I could be there and hug you myself but all I can do is be here if you need to talk. I so hate this disease (all AI diseases actually). Some days it just seem like it is more then we can handle. The good news is that I know you and I know that you are strong and will get through this. It won't be easy but we will be here for you. Let yourself cry, yell and vent. Try to get it all out so it doesn't it you up.

I am here if you need anythingHello Mari,

Thanks for your love and support and you do know me well and what i've gone through. It just gets so depressing fighting one thing and when you actually think your coping, like rob said your sucker punched again.
I just feel totally worn out with the lot, well we all do in different ways. It's such a shame it's just a progressing Disease.

Mari i don't feel so strong lately to what i was, i am mentally breaking down more now with the crying than i've ever done but i do know i have lovely close friends on here besides yourself to turn to, even though i can talk with my hubby he'll still never know what myself or anyone of us are going through, only us who keep joint forces with one another on full support.

Thank you so much and i know your always here mate, if i need to chat. ((Hugs to you mari)) xxx

Peridot20_Gem
05-12-2011, 04:25 PM
Terri I am so sorry to hear this bad news, damn lupus. I wish I was there to comfort you like you have for me. I keep you in my thoughts my dear friend.
BIG HUGS BIG HUGS BIG HUGS
LizHi Liz,

You hit it right on the nail mate DAM LUPUS it's just a shame alot of us who are so close are'nt living by one another, there would be some meeting's.lol

Thank you so much mate and loads of xoxoxox to you Liz

Linda From Australia
05-12-2011, 06:37 PM
Terri you are such an inspiration to me, always checking up on how I am feeling. Thank you for supporting me when I am feeling down or have some complications. Now it is my turn to support and comfort you. I know you will let us all know the outcome of your appointments. Hugs to you Terri

Corella
05-12-2011, 07:49 PM
Just read this and I wish with all my heart I could give you a hug, I cannot imagine how you are feeling. Keep us updated and I am praying everything works out for you.

Nonna
05-13-2011, 02:38 AM
Teri
haven't been in this section lately so I just read this. I know how you feel. My motto has become: Never give up, Never Surrender. I know it's hard especially when hit by the unknown. Another saying: You have nothing to fear but Fear itself.

I am full of cliches this morning.

Anyway - HUGS and Good Thoughts sent your way
Toni

steve.b
05-13-2011, 05:35 AM
we are all here to support each other.
let us support you for a little while.

remember, there is always tommorrow.
today life sucks............... but tommorrow

red246
05-13-2011, 06:01 AM
Terri,
I missed this, don't know how, I've been trying to read more! GREAT BIG gentle (((((hugs))))!!!!! I wish there was something more that I could do, but know that we are all here to listen, to be a shoulder, just as you always are!

Peridot20_Gem
05-13-2011, 06:22 AM
Terri you are such an inspiration to me, always checking up on how I am feeling. Thank you for supporting me when I am feeling down or have some complications. Now it is my turn to support and comfort you. I know you will let us all know the outcome of your appointments. Hugs to you TerriHi Linda,

Your welcome mate that's what we're all here for and i'll let everyone know as soon as i do myself, the doctor as done a letter as i had to go to my GP'S and i've asked them to send me to a gastro specialist who saw me before and knows a fare bit of my history.
I went this morning for an OCPD test on my lungs, it had to be left the capacity of my lungs can't reach the test and i could'nt believe how dehydrated i went 2 glasses of water went down straight away, so until they can try again, the nurse as taken me off 3 inhalers and put me on one mixed with a steriod to open my airway more, it just never ends Lyndia.

Love to you as always mate Terri xxxxxxxxxx

Peridot20_Gem
05-13-2011, 06:25 AM
Just read this and I wish with all my heart I could give you a hug, I cannot imagine how you are feeling. Keep us updated and I am praying everything works out for you.Hello Corella,

Thanks for the hug mate even though you can't.lol
It did knock me about yesterday but resting on it, life goes on but with this Lupus you just never know what's hidden around the corner.

((Hugs Terri)) xxx

Peridot20_Gem
05-13-2011, 06:29 AM
Teri
haven't been in this section lately so I just read this. I know how you feel. My motto has become: Never give up, Never Surrender. I know it's hard especially when hit by the unknown. Another saying: You have nothing to fear but Fear itself.

I am full of cliches this morning.

Anyway - HUGS and Good Thoughts sent your way
ToniHi Toni,

Your motto is good but when your in so much pain as you well know sometimes i find it that hard, i'll give it this LUPUS it can vertually destroy you and your emotions if you don't fight and i felt like that yesterday very bad plus having depression come on me again lately my head was all over the place but i'm thinking better this morning.

You takecare also Toni xxxx

Peridot20_Gem
05-13-2011, 06:31 AM
we are all here to support each other.
let us support you for a little while.

remember, there is always tommorrow.
today life sucks............... but tommorrowHi Steve, your right mate yesterday did suck but today my heads in a better frame of mind.

Terri x

Peridot20_Gem
05-13-2011, 06:33 AM
Terri,
I missed this, don't know how, I've been trying to read more! GREAT BIG gentle (((((hugs))))!!!!! I wish there was something more that I could do, but know that we are all here to listen, to be a shoulder, just as you always are!Hi Lauren,

Lovely to hear from you, it shocked me bad mate and thanks for the Hugs but i'm thinking better today and will update everyone as soon as i know what's happened.

Takecare mate & ((Hugs)) to you also Love Terri xxx

Corella
05-13-2011, 09:35 PM
Did your doctor give any indication of how long you will have to wait to get your liver checked out?

rob
05-14-2011, 12:42 AM
Hey there Terri, how are you doing this morning?

Rob

steve.b
05-14-2011, 12:47 AM
time to start some friendly rivelry.


it may be morning there......................
but in the good part of the world in is mid afternoon.

Peridot20_Gem
05-14-2011, 03:52 AM
Did your doctor give any indication of how long you will have to wait to get your liver checked out?
Hello Corella, well the letter was there yesterday morning to be sent off, so it would have either been sent lastnight or on friday, it's just a waiting game now mate, like what your going through but i did ask to be sent to a specialist who knows a fare bit about my background and who i saw a few years back.

Peridot20_Gem
05-14-2011, 03:53 AM
Hey there Terri, how are you doing this morning?

RobHi Rob, not to bad today mate thanks....i've had a few days to get my head around it abit more.

I hope your fine also and enjoy your weekend. x

Peridot20_Gem
05-14-2011, 03:54 AM
time to start some friendly rivelry.


it may be morning there......................
but in the good part of the world in is mid afternoon.Hi Steve,

Thanks for the support mate, it's really appreciated but some things can more or less blow your head off at times and yes it's 11:54am here.lol

tgal
05-14-2011, 05:12 AM
Glad you are feeling better! When we get new bad news it does take a few days to get beyond the shock and wrap our head around everything. Once we do we usually adjust pretty well as I am sure you are doing. Don't forget that we are here for you if you need to vent. You are a valued member of our family and we love you

Peridot20_Gem
05-14-2011, 04:51 PM
Thanks Mari,

Yes it's took a couple of days but i've got a bloody foggy head sorry for the (language) but i love coming on my pc when i've got nothing on and when you can't concentrate that does my head in and i can't even settle into my reading, i feel lost without one or the other and i'm not a tele lover at all.
I do know your all here for me and you won't believe how that so apppreciated and also being a valued member.

((Hugs to you mari)) xxxxxxxx

magistramarla
05-14-2011, 08:34 PM
Hi Terri,
It really upset me to read what is going on with you, my dear. I hope that the docs get on it right away and don't leave you waiting and wondering for a long time.
The liver is the most important thing for them to address, but I want to ask about your calf. Does the muscle feel like it is hard, stiff and sore? Mine feels that way all of the time. I've seen a lot of folks on the Sjogren's site complaining about tight, sore muscles, too. It seems strange that so many people with SJS seem to have this symptom, but the docs always dismiss it.
Hang in there, girl and know that a lot of people from all over the world are thinking about you and love you.
BIG, BIG HUGS,
Marla

Peridot20_Gem
05-15-2011, 02:01 AM
Hello marla,

It upset me and shocked me mate but i'm better with it now where my heads concerned, well it's just waiting for an appointment and i hope i see the gastro specialist i asked for because he knows my history and he's the sort to do proper investigations on my inside and organs, this lot should have been sorted with my rheumo he's useless.
I have muscle spasms like everyone else with sjogren's but my calf is actually swelling out, can't take pressure and the skins tightening up identical to when i had DVT, that's why the doctor got me in quick and when the dermo sent me for blood tests the nurse had to pressure my arm to get the blood to flow, if i cut myself now or sores break open i get no running blood it just thickens on the spot but it's nothing to do with DVT and they've not got a clue what's causing it.
The skin on my calf is that tight it feels like you could cut it with a knife to relief the pressure.

Marla you takecare youself my dear friend, love to you as always mate. xxx

giggle
05-15-2011, 03:23 AM
So sad to hear your new developments :( You are always so helpful Terri, you have taught me a lot. I feel bad that I have nothing to offer you other than cyber hugs and my best thoughts for your wellbeing.

~LUVMYFLOWERS~
05-15-2011, 04:24 AM
Hi Terri,
Wishing for you a Better Day Today!!! And so hopeing and praying for all your symptoms
to give you a break! As you surley deserve it with all your going through!
Big Hug's & Lot's of Love to You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~Diane~

riverlaken
05-15-2011, 07:12 AM
Hey Terri,
I am also praying for you with very positive vibes =========> going your way.

Peridot20_Gem
05-15-2011, 07:13 AM
So sad to hear your new developments :( You are always so helpful Terri, you have taught me a lot. I feel bad that I have nothing to offer you other than cyber hugs and my best thoughts for your wellbeing.Hello mate,

You just never know what can hit you with this lot and i am pleased i've been of some help to you and other's because Lupus takes some learning and dealing with as we all know.

Thanks for the hugs and wishing me your thought's as it all helps. ((Hugs)) Terri xxx

Peridot20_Gem
05-15-2011, 07:18 AM
Hi Terri,
Wishing for you a Better Day Today!!! And so hopeing and praying for all your symptoms
to give you a break! As you surley deserve it with all your going through!
Big Hug's & Lot's of Love to You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~Diane~Hello Diane,

Me and you know a breaks never possible from this lot and your definitely going through it mate.

Diane i've just fetched me a walking frame on wheels to help me get about as the crutches are straining my hip more and a tray attached for my brew up mate.lol The only break i'll get in 25yrs is when i'm 6ft under "Harmony" to the soul i say.

Love you loads Diane and i hope your days abit peaceful mate. xxxxxxxxxx

Peridot20_Gem
05-15-2011, 07:19 AM
Hey Terri,
I am also praying for you with very positive vibes =========> going your way.Cheers mate,

Your so thoughful and thank you in ever way ~Hugs to you also~ xxx

BonusMom
05-15-2011, 01:17 PM
I was so sorry to read of your new challenges, Terri. If it's not one thing, it's ten, as they say. I hope the doctors start finding some answers and you start feeling better soon.

Peridot20_Gem
05-15-2011, 05:11 PM
I was so sorry to read of your new challenges, Terri. If it's not one thing, it's ten, as they say. I hope the doctors start finding some answers and you start feeling better soon.Ado mate,

Your right on that one, it's getting 10+ LOL ...I've just got to wait for an appointment and see how it goes from there, i'm just sick and tied of pain.

I do hope your ok and all my love xxxxxx

craftkeeper
05-15-2011, 05:53 PM
Terri i am so sorry that you are going through all of this pain. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Just from the amount of time that i have been a member of this board i have gotten so much from your posts and i know that you are one tuff lady to have gone through so much of your own pain but always willing to try to say something on here to help someone else. That tells me what a wonderful person you are. You hang in there with everything you have and we will pray that the doctors will get you the answers soon... Big hugs to you!!!!

Saysusie
05-16-2011, 02:04 PM
Hi Terri;
I can only let you know that my heart goes out to you and that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I do hope that the swelling in your ankles goes away, that you are given some definite answers and some treatment that is actually helpful.
Have they determined what has caused the issues with your kidney and did they have any suggestions for treatment?
I hope that you continue to find strength and that you are having better days.

Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

Peridot20_Gem
05-16-2011, 02:20 PM
Terri i am so sorry that you are going through all of this pain. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Just from the amount of time that i have been a member of this board i have gotten so much from your posts and i know that you are one tuff lady to have gone through so much of your own pain but always willing to try to say something on here to help someone else. That tells me what a wonderful person you are. You hang in there with everything you have and we will pray that the doctors will get you the answers soon... Big hugs to you!!!!Hello mate,

Lovely to hear from you and i hope your keeping fine never mind me.

The news just knocked me about abit with so much going on, I'm not that tuff mate concerning this lot i actually get down alot, i just need a break from it ahhhhhhhh. I look at it like this we're all here for one another because if you can't share advice or symptoms with anyone in the same position then your one miserable person.

Thanks alot and loads of Hugs to you dear friend xxxxx

Peridot20_Gem
05-16-2011, 02:28 PM
Hi Terri;
I can only let you know that my heart goes out to you and that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I do hope that the swelling in your ankles goes away, that you are given some definite answers and some treatment that is actually helpful.
Have they determined what has caused the issues with your kidney and did they have any suggestions for treatment?
I hope that you continue to find strength and that you are having better days.

Peace and Blessings
Namaste
SaysusieHi Saysusie,

I spoke with my psychiatrist today and he knows such alot about Lupus and wanted a full update because of my depression, he thinks there's a good chance of me having what (Diane) as Vasculitis with how the autoimmune diseases are going mad and now the Tumour.

The swelling's not gone and i showed him my leg and he's told me not to wait around till August but to phone the hospital and for them to get me started on Anti-Cancer medication so the autoimmune diseases can be surpressed the way it's moving so quickly and affecting my skin.

Takecare youself mate & i hope all is well with yourself.

Love to you as always xxxxxxx